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Dec 22 2016

Mama Bear Vent!

Ok, I don’t rant often, but …

As a mother of a child who has severe food allergies, it just doesn’t make sense to me why others do not take it seriously. Keep in mind, I manage a school, so I am able to see both sides of the coin; how hard is is to regulate, and how seriously we need to take it in order to keep our students safe.

My 5th child was diagnosed with severe food allergies when she was just five months old. It changed our world. She was literally the first patient her pediatrician had ever had with food allergies. He had no idea how to deal with it, but by the time she was eight, he was an advocate of educating others about them. When my daughter was young, it was nearly impossible to even find someone who would watch her because they were afraid of her food allergies. I get it. I remember the first time I left her alone overnight…that was when I finally agreed to a cell phone! It was scary.

I remember putting her in school for the first time, in the 2nd grade. THAT was scary. What if someone touched her after they had eaten peanuts? What if they breathed on her? I remember reading an article once about a 15 year old girl who died from of a kiss from her boyfriend who had eaten peanuts earlier in the day; she never told her boyfriend she was allergic.

From a very young age, I worked hard to teach my daughter to advocate for herself. Don’t touch things that don’t belong to you; don’t hold hands with other students. Don’t kiss anyone or let them kiss you. Don’t share food or drinks. Don’t eat anything if you haven’t checked yourself to make sure it is safe; not everyone understands how to read food labels for ingredients. It’s too dangerous.

Today, more people are aware of food allergies than every before. Food allergies affect 1 in every 13 children in the US. There are now laws mandating that food be labeled clearly. More and more facilities/vendors are peanut free; or at the very least, have a space that is peanut free. Restaurants are more aware of what they are serving than ever before.

But…when it comes to air travel…..

I remember the first time we ever traveled by air with my daughter. We carried her onto the plane, wiped down everything she could come into contact with, and put a crib sheet over the seat she was sitting in. We flew Southwest because they did not serve peanuts on the flight that she was on. We tried to take the first flight out to make sure it was as safe as possible, but if we could not, the flight attendants were always nice and checked for any loose peanuts when we flew with them.

We haven’t flown in a few years. But recently, one of our dear friends booked a flight for her as a gift for her 16th birthday present. I was not too concerned since their website states, “Inflight food offerings may contain trace amounts of nut ingredients, or may have been processed in facilities that also process nuts. In addition, we are unable to prevent other passengers from bringing nuts and/or products containing nuts onboard our flights.” To me, this meant that although they could not prevent others from bringing nuts on the plane, they would only be serving foods that may contain trace amounts. So, as long as she doesn’t eat a nut, or someone next to her doesn’t touch her after eating nuts, she would be ok.

Not so the case.

I will say that their staff was very nice for her flight to her destination. They allowed me to go to the gate with her. (This is at their discretion since she is now 16.) Once we arrived at the gate, we informed them of her peanut allergy and that she was carrying epi-pens and she would be wiping down her seats. They were very nice and let her board first. I stayed to make sure she got off safely.

And a good thing! Because the next thing I knew, they were calling me over and letting me know they were going to de-board her from the plane. Their reasoning was that her peanut allergy was too severe and they were contacting medical to see if they would approve the flight. Twenty minutes later, she got approval to fly. They put her on the back seat and the flight attendants took excellent care of her.

And they served peanuts on the flight….not food with trace amounts, but the actual peanuts themselves.

Fast forward to today:

A) The man at check-in refused to let an adult go to the gate with her even though the flight was delayed because she is 16. He was also made aware of her peanut allergy and he said he would let them know AND that he had changed her seat to make it more safe for her.

B) He didn’t tell anyone AND he didn’t change her seat.

My  vent? I understand policy and procedure. It’s not the airline’s fault my daughter has a peanut allergy. HOWEVER, the airlines should very clearly state on their website that they SERVE peanuts on their flights so that their customers can make INFORMED decisions before they hand over their money AND THEN get kicked off of the flight because it isn’t safe.  Family kicked off flight over peanut allergy

My bigger vent? With food allergies ever growing, why aren’t they taken more seriously? Public schools in Nevada now have to carry epi-pens just in case a student goes into anaphylaxis. My daughter’s school FASA has had to use the school epi-pens multiple times on students who do not carry an epi-pen or did not even know they needed one.

One would think that with the millions of people that fly every day, the airlines would take peanut allergies more seriously and just not serve peanuts, or at the very least, on flights that have customers with peanut allergies on them.

I am an even bigger fan of Southwest airlines these days. They have no problem announcing to the other passengers that there is a passenger with a severe peanut allergy on the flight and that no peanuts will be served; and they offer an alternative (pretzels) when it comes to these flights.

Meanwhile, after four hours of sitting in an airport by herself because she is considered to be an adult, my daughter’s flight just got cancelled. She’s not old enough to book a hotel room by herself, and she won’t be flying out until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest.

Thank goodness for fantastic friends who have no problem waiting in the freezing cold until the airline could finally make a decision about the flight. Thank you, fantastic friend, for waiting as she makes her way out of the airport to the warmth of your car and I’m sure, a warm hug, because you are careful of her food allergies.

 

Written by Hope · Categorized: Drama Queen, Food Allergies/Gluten Free, Health, Just Being Real, Late Night Ponderings · Tagged: drama queen, food allergies, friendship, parenting

May 08 2016

Mother’s Day 2016

It’s funny how things change. Twenty-five years ago, my life took on a change. After spending some time with my next-door teenager, I became a believer and started attending church. It was at this church that I made life-long friends. It was here that I met the man I would marry and spend the next 24 years with; where we would raise our children.

And in a moment; everything can change.

….And so we begin the next 25 years in reflection of who we are and where are we going?

I’ve spent the majority of this past year in phases. And as I look forward, I have to look back.  And what has it taught me?

There is a Spirit that lives within me that provides strength and peace when I allow it.

We are stronger than we realize.

It is ok to simply be the best me I can be.

My children don’t expect me to have it all figured out. (What a relief!)

My teenager can understand and handle that mommy has a broken heart; and help as we overcome.

My children are stronger than I could have ever imagined.

It is ok to let it all out…food for the soul.

There is grace; patience; acceptance.

I have amazing people in my life who have loved me thru it all; the good, the bad, the ugly.

Today, I spend time accepting and learning to feel better about myself.

I spend time enjoying long walks. (Take walks.) It is then that I can ponder and reflect and be encouraged by what God has surrounded me with. I listen to the birds and the wind in the trees; laugh at the hummingbird that dances in front of me. I follow the butterfly as it flits along my path and notice the squirrel that peeks out in curiosity.

I spend time talking to my kids. And listening. And just enjoying being with them and laughing and crying and laughing some more.

I won’t lie. It’s hard being a single mother. R-E-A-L-L-Y hard. I work a lot. And there seems to never be enough time; and most days I feel like a failure when it comes to this new role . I don’t now how I’d get thru it without all of us pitching in to make it work. But….we are making it work.

And so today, Mother’s Day takes on a new meaning. We’ve started over. Starting the next 25 years at a new church; one that is just beginning. This time, I am not a young woman just beginning her life, but instead, one that is older, and can hopefully make a difference.

It fills me with joy to be a mom; and I am grateful times seven plus one.

Happy Mother’s Day to you all.

Written by Hope · Categorized: Family, Just Being Real, Single Mom · Tagged: faith, family, family time, mom, parenting

May 09 2010

My Mommy Made Me Do It!

For those of you who didn't know it, today is Mother's Day. That's the day where you tell your mom you love her, and if you are a mother yourself, tell your kids, too.

I've had several moments over the past couple of weeks to kind of reflect on Motherhood. I've been thinking about this particular post for a while, thinking it would make the perfect Mother's Day post. So…here goes.

If you're a mom, have you ever thought about how the things that your mom did with you are now reflected in what you do with your own kids? Even the things you didn't necessarily want to do, but did anyway because your "mommy made you?" 

For instance, my mom taught me how to sew. (I actually enjoyed that!) My mom is one of those moms that can do anything. I'm serious! I can't think of a single thing she doesn't know how to do or isn't willing to try! Anyway, she can also sew anything. She made all of my prom dresses, dresses and outfits for all of us when we were kids. She even made my wedding dress! I can't sew anything near what she can, but I knew how to make my own barbie clothes and once time I even won an award for an outfit I made. I stopped sewing after I had my third child. I had a sewing machine, but it didn't work and I never got around to getting another one. This year, B-boo is taking a fashion class. Guess what? That means she has to learn how to sew. I thought it would be great; except that the teacher doesn't really teach the kids much. She just tells them to make such and such and they are on their own for the most part. So, I am teaching her how to sew. Only…I don't have a working sewing machine. So we were borrowing my mother-in-laws to help her with the quilts and other projects that she was making. Then, when my parents came to visit while I was recovering, they brought a brand new sewing machine for B-boo! Her last project was a stuffed elephant. She had to follow a pattern and do certain stitches. I was sooo glad my mom had taught me how to sew and made sure I knew the different stitches; because I was able to help my own daughter with the same thing. And she got an "A." I am looking forward to teaching my younger daughter how to sew now, also. And all because my mom did it with me.

Another thing my mom taught us was how to draw, paint and make crafts. I'm not great at that, either, but I do know the basics. Last week we were making props for our Children's concert tomorrow night. We were tracing, drawing, painting, etc. At one point, I needed to draw some stuff free hand. All those lessons from my mom came pouring back, and I managed to do a pretty decent job! Then, I got to give a certain teen a mini painting lesson when it came to painting Kermit the frog. And then, there was the mixing of the paint to get the particular colors that we wanted. Again, all learned from my mom. And while I always enjoyed the painting and crafts (still do), it was nice to put it to good use with my own (and other people's) children!

There is one thing that I never cared to do, but my mommy made me. My mom was a cosmetologist and loved to cut hair. I never liked it. I admit it. I never wanted to do it and had to learn great patience at being forced to learn how to cut hair. She always insisted I needed to know how to do it. I'd much rather pay someone else to make my family look beautiful, but…my mommy said I could do it. And insisted that I learn. So I did. I've been cutting my hubby's hair for years. It's not something I really enjoy doing, but he likes it, so I like it. I used to cut my boys hair when they were little, and even the girls. But as the teens have wanted certain styles and such, I started having someone else do it.

And then my hubby lost his job. And well, everyone needed hair cuts. Including myself. So, I started with my nephew one day because he wanted a cut and he knew I had the stuff to do it, so decided I needed to cut his hair. And then, I got brave and did my own hair! And the next week, I did my own hair again, a little bit better! And then, my teenage son asked me to do his. I REALLY didn't want to, that made me VERY nervous. This boy likes his hair just right. Somehow we made it through and he states he actually likes it. It kind of made me feel good to have his approval, because he is so very picky. He trusted his mom to cut his hair; something I wouldn't have known how to do if my mom hadn't taught me!

And speaking of hair, B-boo needed a french braid for her recital this week. That's something I never could quite get! So, she had to have a friend do it for her. Sorry about that, B-boo.

My mom also instilled the love of cooking in me. She loves to cook; bake, too. I grew up not afraid to try new recipes, etc. I am forever grateful for that one! Especially since I have two children with serious food allergies. Trying buying something these days that doesn't have at least one of the following ingredients in it: dairy, egg, nuts, wheat, soy, gluten, or apples. It is nearly impossible! And if you do manage to find something, it costs way too much! So, I make bread, bake cakes, learn how to substitute ingredients and manage to make some pretty good meals, too. What's even better, is that my children like to cook; especially the ones with food allergies! They will grow up learning to cook whatever their hearts desire! And all because my mom instilled the love of cooking in me when I was a child.

Mom also loves animals. Doesn't matter what kind they are; she likes 'em all! So do my kids; which is why we've had pets such as snakes, lizards, rats, birds, rabbits, fish, etc.

There is one thing I have never managed to learn from my mom. That is a taking care of plants. I try, I really do, but I did NOT inherit her green thumb! I will kill them dead after trying and trying to keep them alive. I'll give them to her for burial, and she'll have them resurrected within days! 

One thing my mom was not. She was not afraid to be a mother. She taught me all about being a mom to my own five kids. She also taught me to welcome other children into our home; something my parents always did. Our home was always open to others; and now, our home is always open to others.

I've not physically been with my mom in several years now on Mother's day. She lives 12 hours away. This year, she is getting to spend it with my oldest brother. Something she hasn't done in years, so I am sure she is having the time of her life!

And me? Well, tonight as I write this to post on Mother's Day, I am sitting here typing while my own two daughters cuddle next to me. I'm needed tonight because the Drama Queen is sick. So I'm going to finish this and give my full attention to her now. Tomorrow, she's going to bless me with her beautiful voice in a Mother's Day concert, provided we can get her well!

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you! 

  The_Lunas_1973(rev 1) 

The Luna Family

1973

Written by Mama Vivas · Categorized: B-Boo, Drama Queen, Family, Food Allergies/Gluten Free, Talented One, The Vivas Family! · Tagged: cooking, crafts, mommy, Mother's Day, parenting, sewing

Apr 26 2010

Whose Battle is it, Anyway?

Sometimes parenting is so hard. I think as parents, one of the first things we need to learn is that we don't always have the right answers. As a matter of fact, we often don't even come close to knowing the right answer; or even the answer that they need to hear.

So many times, when my children have asked, "Why?" I can only honestly respond, "I don't know. But God knows, and that just has to be enough."

I remember a few years ago, a teacher made an accusation against one of my sons. (Now, I am not a blind mom and I realize my children make mistakes. Sometimes, they're pretty dumb mistakes. But, they're pretty honest and will tell us when they're doing dumb things.) We were shocked, but we told him to just leave it. Let it lie, and let God take care of it. It was hard. Hard for me as a mom, because all I wanted to do was march into the school and let the teacher have it, just like my mom did for me. Instead, I followed our own advice and stayed still. And a few days later, my son came home telling about how another teacher had stood up for him, told the truth and made it right. He learned a much bigger lesson than I could have taught him by trying to take care of it myself.

For me, one of the toughest battles I find as a parent is to let go, and let God. I want to fight for my children. My humanness wants to take out anyone who messes with my family! I think I'm getting better the older I get. I still want to get to the bottom of things. That's the way we work in our family. We put it out there, talk it out, make it right, and move on. Over. Done. Finished.

Unfortunately, that is not the way the rest of the world necessarily thinks. And so, I have to tell my children to not let what other people say about them bother them. I remind them that we are accountable for our own actions; not the actions of others. It doesn't matter, really, what others say about them, because they know the truth. More importantly, God knows the truth.

It's about character. The character of letting Christ shine through us. For when we face persecution, the first thing we want to do is fight back. Especially when false accusations are made.

Last week, I had to continuously repeat to myself, Psalm 19:14

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

be acceptable in Your Sight,

Oh Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."

My hubby and I were on our way to a meeting and I just kept repeating it over and over. He asked why was I so silent, and I had to tell him. It was the only way I could think of to keep my anger from spilling over into ugliness. And it worked, too. And for those who know me, they know how hard that was for me!

I think God is trying to teach me something here recently. More often, I've had to hold myself back. And that's so hard, because I'm just not built that way! There have been a few of these types of instances lately. Some involve my children; some not. But, what they have seen is others stand up for them when they stay silent. What I have seen, is God's work when I hold myself back. Sometimes it takes a while; a long while. Other times, a brief moment. The battle is the Lords. Sometimes, even if you are right, it is better just to be quiet and let God do His thing. And He will, if we let Him.

Written by Mama Vivas · Categorized: Faith, Family, The Vivas Family! · Tagged: children, Lord's battle, parenting

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