Sometimes parenting is so hard. I think as parents, one of the first things we need to learn is that we don't always have the right answers. As a matter of fact, we often don't even come close to knowing the right answer; or even the answer that they need to hear.
So many times, when my children have asked, "Why?" I can only honestly respond, "I don't know. But God knows, and that just has to be enough."
I remember a few years ago, a teacher made an accusation against one of my sons. (Now, I am not a blind mom and I realize my children make mistakes. Sometimes, they're pretty dumb mistakes. But, they're pretty honest and will tell us when they're doing dumb things.) We were shocked, but we told him to just leave it. Let it lie, and let God take care of it. It was hard. Hard for me as a mom, because all I wanted to do was march into the school and let the teacher have it, just like my mom did for me. Instead, I followed our own advice and stayed still. And a few days later, my son came home telling about how another teacher had stood up for him, told the truth and made it right. He learned a much bigger lesson than I could have taught him by trying to take care of it myself.
For me, one of the toughest battles I find as a parent is to let go, and let God. I want to fight for my children. My humanness wants to take out anyone who messes with my family! I think I'm getting better the older I get. I still want to get to the bottom of things. That's the way we work in our family. We put it out there, talk it out, make it right, and move on. Over. Done. Finished.
Unfortunately, that is not the way the rest of the world necessarily thinks. And so, I have to tell my children to not let what other people say about them bother them. I remind them that we are accountable for our own actions; not the actions of others. It doesn't matter, really, what others say about them, because they know the truth. More importantly, God knows the truth.
It's about character. The character of letting Christ shine through us. For when we face persecution, the first thing we want to do is fight back. Especially when false accusations are made.
Last week, I had to continuously repeat to myself, Psalm 19:14
"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in Your Sight,
Oh Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."
My hubby and I were on our way to a meeting and I just kept repeating it over and over. He asked why was I so silent, and I had to tell him. It was the only way I could think of to keep my anger from spilling over into ugliness. And it worked, too. And for those who know me, they know how hard that was for me!
I think God is trying to teach me something here recently. More often, I've had to hold myself back. And that's so hard, because I'm just not built that way! There have been a few of these types of instances lately. Some involve my children; some not. But, what they have seen is others stand up for them when they stay silent. What I have seen, is God's work when I hold myself back. Sometimes it takes a while; a long while. Other times, a brief moment. The battle is the Lords. Sometimes, even if you are right, it is better just to be quiet and let God do His thing. And He will, if we let Him.