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My Mommy Made Me Do It!

For those of you who didn't know it, today is Mother's Day. That's the day where you tell your mom you love her, and if you are a mother yourself, tell your kids, too.

I've had several moments over the past couple of weeks to kind of reflect on Motherhood. I've been thinking about this particular post for a while, thinking it would make the perfect Mother's Day post. So…here goes.

If you're a mom, have you ever thought about how the things that your mom did with you are now reflected in what you do with your own kids? Even the things you didn't necessarily want to do, but did anyway because your "mommy made you?" 

For instance, my mom taught me how to sew. (I actually enjoyed that!) My mom is one of those moms that can do anything. I'm serious! I can't think of a single thing she doesn't know how to do or isn't willing to try! Anyway, she can also sew anything. She made all of my prom dresses, dresses and outfits for all of us when we were kids. She even made my wedding dress! I can't sew anything near what she can, but I knew how to make my own barbie clothes and once time I even won an award for an outfit I made. I stopped sewing after I had my third child. I had a sewing machine, but it didn't work and I never got around to getting another one. This year, B-boo is taking a fashion class. Guess what? That means she has to learn how to sew. I thought it would be great; except that the teacher doesn't really teach the kids much. She just tells them to make such and such and they are on their own for the most part. So, I am teaching her how to sew. Only…I don't have a working sewing machine. So we were borrowing my mother-in-laws to help her with the quilts and other projects that she was making. Then, when my parents came to visit while I was recovering, they brought a brand new sewing machine for B-boo! Her last project was a stuffed elephant. She had to follow a pattern and do certain stitches. I was sooo glad my mom had taught me how to sew and made sure I knew the different stitches; because I was able to help my own daughter with the same thing. And she got an "A." I am looking forward to teaching my younger daughter how to sew now, also. And all because my mom did it with me.

Another thing my mom taught us was how to draw, paint and make crafts. I'm not great at that, either, but I do know the basics. Last week we were making props for our Children's concert tomorrow night. We were tracing, drawing, painting, etc. At one point, I needed to draw some stuff free hand. All those lessons from my mom came pouring back, and I managed to do a pretty decent job! Then, I got to give a certain teen a mini painting lesson when it came to painting Kermit the frog. And then, there was the mixing of the paint to get the particular colors that we wanted. Again, all learned from my mom. And while I always enjoyed the painting and crafts (still do), it was nice to put it to good use with my own (and other people's) children!

There is one thing that I never cared to do, but my mommy made me. My mom was a cosmetologist and loved to cut hair. I never liked it. I admit it. I never wanted to do it and had to learn great patience at being forced to learn how to cut hair. She always insisted I needed to know how to do it. I'd much rather pay someone else to make my family look beautiful, but…my mommy said I could do it. And insisted that I learn. So I did. I've been cutting my hubby's hair for years. It's not something I really enjoy doing, but he likes it, so I like it. I used to cut my boys hair when they were little, and even the girls. But as the teens have wanted certain styles and such, I started having someone else do it.

And then my hubby lost his job. And well, everyone needed hair cuts. Including myself. So, I started with my nephew one day because he wanted a cut and he knew I had the stuff to do it, so decided I needed to cut his hair. And then, I got brave and did my own hair! And the next week, I did my own hair again, a little bit better! And then, my teenage son asked me to do his. I REALLY didn't want to, that made me VERY nervous. This boy likes his hair just right. Somehow we made it through and he states he actually likes it. It kind of made me feel good to have his approval, because he is so very picky. He trusted his mom to cut his hair; something I wouldn't have known how to do if my mom hadn't taught me!

And speaking of hair, B-boo needed a french braid for her recital this week. That's something I never could quite get! So, she had to have a friend do it for her. Sorry about that, B-boo.

My mom also instilled the love of cooking in me. She loves to cook; bake, too. I grew up not afraid to try new recipes, etc. I am forever grateful for that one! Especially since I have two children with serious food allergies. Trying buying something these days that doesn't have at least one of the following ingredients in it: dairy, egg, nuts, wheat, soy, gluten, or apples. It is nearly impossible! And if you do manage to find something, it costs way too much! So, I make bread, bake cakes, learn how to substitute ingredients and manage to make some pretty good meals, too. What's even better, is that my children like to cook; especially the ones with food allergies! They will grow up learning to cook whatever their hearts desire! And all because my mom instilled the love of cooking in me when I was a child.

Mom also loves animals. Doesn't matter what kind they are; she likes 'em all! So do my kids; which is why we've had pets such as snakes, lizards, rats, birds, rabbits, fish, etc.

There is one thing I have never managed to learn from my mom. That is a taking care of plants. I try, I really do, but I did NOT inherit her green thumb! I will kill them dead after trying and trying to keep them alive. I'll give them to her for burial, and she'll have them resurrected within days! 

One thing my mom was not. She was not afraid to be a mother. She taught me all about being a mom to my own five kids. She also taught me to welcome other children into our home; something my parents always did. Our home was always open to others; and now, our home is always open to others.

I've not physically been with my mom in several years now on Mother's day. She lives 12 hours away. This year, she is getting to spend it with my oldest brother. Something she hasn't done in years, so I am sure she is having the time of her life!

And me? Well, tonight as I write this to post on Mother's Day, I am sitting here typing while my own two daughters cuddle next to me. I'm needed tonight because the Drama Queen is sick. So I'm going to finish this and give my full attention to her now. Tomorrow, she's going to bless me with her beautiful voice in a Mother's Day concert, provided we can get her well!

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you! 

  The_Lunas_1973(rev 1) 

The Luna Family

1973

That Just Gets My Goat!

You know, I'd like to just say some people are plain…er…well….not very smart.

And mean!

And well….missing out.

We have a large family. We are BLESSED to have a large family. My hubby and I CHOSE to have a large family. We ENJOY having a multitude of kids!

For those of you who don't; that's OK. It's not my business how many children you want. Or have.

Frankly, I cannot count the times over the past several years where I have been in public with my children and some random stranger thinks it is OK to lecture me on my irresponsibilities to the world for having more children than the normal 2.5! (And can some please tell me how it is possible for one to have 2.5 children anyway?!)

I have gone into a grocery store where someone has literally counted my children as we walk in. Yes, counted them! I had five children at the time. I mean, yes, it is a large family, but so unbelievable? Really?

Another time while shopping at Costco, I had a man lecture me, IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN, on how sorry he felt for me because I had too many children. Sir, I feel sorry for you; for you will never know the blessing you have missed out on by condemning those with children instead of enjoying the unconditional love that they might have for you.

I had another lady tell me one time (in yet another grocery store) that I had no business having so many children and using the government to pay my way through. Um…excuse me, but we weren't using the government for anything, thank you very much!

We have raised our children on our own with no assistance for 22 years, thank you very much! But today, oh my word!

Yes, economic times are tough. In addition to our own five children, we are once again also raising extras. That's what families do; we take care of one another. Yes, my husband lost his job 6 months ago. Yes, we lost our health insurance along with it. And yes, for the first time ever in our lives, we are receiving food stamps and medicaid. And I refuse to be embarrassed by it. And praise God for it, because with my recent health issues, I don't know how we would have ever paid the medical bills.

And so today, I had to spend some time in that wonderful place we all call *the Welfare Department.*

And spent more than enough time in line.

And as if that wasn't enough, I had to sit and listen to people complain about how *those* people continue to have children just so they can take advantage of the system. How *those* people shouldn't be allowed to have children any more. How *those* people should have to have their tubes tied. How *those* people need to stop watching so much porn. (I promise you, I did not make this one up!)

And then, I had to listen to how *responsible* they were; because they made sure to only have one child. And *they* are not taking advantage of the system, because after all, *they* only have one. And the other didn't have any. So, may I ask, why were you there this morning, if you only had to take care of yourself and no children? (Of course, I just kept my mouth shut, faced forward, and prayed they would stop talking soon.)

I needed an attitude adjustment before I ever went into that building today. It only got worse.

Because on top of that, I had a lady in front of me and a man behind me….fighting over why she is running from him and how he is so possessive and about the domestic violence between them, and the foul language, etc…and the security guard did nothing to stop this. All while listening to the others venting on why people shouldn't be allowed to have large families.

I wanted to shout, "Really? Do you think I enjoy coming to this place to be around this for hours?"

I was finally able to walk out of there. And do you know what?

I am able to come home to a houseful of people that love me. I can get a free hug whenever I ask for one. There is always someone to cuddle with. There is always someone with a smile on their face just for me. There is always someone who wants to show me something wonderful that they can do. There is always someone that would love to spend some quality one on one if I ask.

I am BLESSED, indeed! Blessed with many children who are a reflection of the deep love that my husband and I have for one another. More importantly, I am blessed by a God who chose me to be a mother to these beautiful children.

Don't feel sorry for me…I mean, look at that sidebar to the right? Those are BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING children (and young men!

Just call me, Blessed!

Whose Battle is it, Anyway?

Sometimes parenting is so hard. I think as parents, one of the first things we need to learn is that we don't always have the right answers. As a matter of fact, we often don't even come close to knowing the right answer; or even the answer that they need to hear.

So many times, when my children have asked, "Why?" I can only honestly respond, "I don't know. But God knows, and that just has to be enough."

I remember a few years ago, a teacher made an accusation against one of my sons. (Now, I am not a blind mom and I realize my children make mistakes. Sometimes, they're pretty dumb mistakes. But, they're pretty honest and will tell us when they're doing dumb things.) We were shocked, but we told him to just leave it. Let it lie, and let God take care of it. It was hard. Hard for me as a mom, because all I wanted to do was march into the school and let the teacher have it, just like my mom did for me. Instead, I followed our own advice and stayed still. And a few days later, my son came home telling about how another teacher had stood up for him, told the truth and made it right. He learned a much bigger lesson than I could have taught him by trying to take care of it myself.

For me, one of the toughest battles I find as a parent is to let go, and let God. I want to fight for my children. My humanness wants to take out anyone who messes with my family! I think I'm getting better the older I get. I still want to get to the bottom of things. That's the way we work in our family. We put it out there, talk it out, make it right, and move on. Over. Done. Finished.

Unfortunately, that is not the way the rest of the world necessarily thinks. And so, I have to tell my children to not let what other people say about them bother them. I remind them that we are accountable for our own actions; not the actions of others. It doesn't matter, really, what others say about them, because they know the truth. More importantly, God knows the truth.

It's about character. The character of letting Christ shine through us. For when we face persecution, the first thing we want to do is fight back. Especially when false accusations are made.

Last week, I had to continuously repeat to myself, Psalm 19:14

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

be acceptable in Your Sight,

Oh Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."

My hubby and I were on our way to a meeting and I just kept repeating it over and over. He asked why was I so silent, and I had to tell him. It was the only way I could think of to keep my anger from spilling over into ugliness. And it worked, too. And for those who know me, they know how hard that was for me!

I think God is trying to teach me something here recently. More often, I've had to hold myself back. And that's so hard, because I'm just not built that way! There have been a few of these types of instances lately. Some involve my children; some not. But, what they have seen is others stand up for them when they stay silent. What I have seen, is God's work when I hold myself back. Sometimes it takes a while; a long while. Other times, a brief moment. The battle is the Lords. Sometimes, even if you are right, it is better just to be quiet and let God do His thing. And He will, if we let Him.

Oh Deer! What’s for Dinner?

Last night, we had a family gathering. For once, all of my children that still live with us, were home. At the same time. I know, in a family of seven plus two, that is virtually non-existent! And while my eldest no longer lives with us (insert sad face), he still makes sure to check in often.

But anyway, the kids were all home. So was hubby. It was a miracle.

Earlier in the day, I'd decided to make meat loaf since our pickins' in the freezer are getting pretty low. I knew I had potatoes and I knew I still had enough deer meat for one more go around. It turned out that was a perfect idea…because we actually had a family dinner, minus the eldest. (insert sad face)

(Insert even bigger sad face) It was the LAST of the deer meat!

Now, you just have to understand that most people I encounter don't like deer meat. BUT, my mom makes the best deer meat. I'm not sure what she puts in it, but all we have to do is thaw it out and make patties out of it and whalla…amazing deer burgers! I'd never made a meatloaf out of it, but all I added was garlic and onions…and whalla….amazing deer meatloaf.

And now…it's all gone.

But, the family dinner was so much fun. We laughed and talked. We talked of eating Bambi. (Sorry for the morbid humor.) We talked about elbows on the table. We talked about napkins in the lap.

We talked about broken noses and black eyes; and how B-boo's injuries have all been self-inflicted from her clumsiness. We talked about facial features and the Talented One's cute dimple. I explained to him that he wasn't born with that dimple, but that it had happened when he was 2 or 3 and a little girl had picked him up and dropped him in Sunday school. On his face. His cheek had slammed into the corner of a table. He was bruised for weeks and ever since then, he's had a dimple on his right cheek. So, B-boo speaks up,

So, mom…you saying he wasn't born with a deformed face that turned into a dimple, it happened later."

We all spewed.

Yes, dinner conversation is much like our laundry folding. We all get together and the conversation takes on a life of it's own.

Now, if we could just get our hands on some more of my mom's deer meat, all would be well in the Vivas household again.

Can I Share?

Warning: this may turn into a rather long blog!

I am blessed. Not just with an amazingly awesome family, but with friends and a church that mean so much.

As some of you may know, I've had a rather rough year so far. Two months ago, I had a surgery that turned into a long battle. I became septic and have battled that, along with a wound that didn't want to heal and a strength that refused to come back. I went from the queen of energy to not being able to care for myself at all, let alone my family.

But, God has blessed us. Our friends & family were there with us in the hospital, going shopping for us, taking children where they needed to be, bringing meals into our home and getting our children out for a breather when needed. My children have stepped up; taking care of mom, instead of mom taking care of them. And my husband; words cannot express. All I can say is that our marriage has reached a new level! 🙂

A few weeks ago, Easter discussion began. Should we cancel our annual party this year? After much begging from me, we decided to move forward with it. 🙂 After being cooped up in a house for two months except for doctor's appointments, I needed my party!

Friday, my children really stepped up and gave the house a once over! It was wonderful to see them work together and get things done quickly!

Saturday, a couple of sweethearts came over to help with the cooking; which was considerably less since others had volunteered to bring things I usually make! B-boo also helped me put together the dozens of eggs for hiding and the Easter baskets for the next morning.

Tradition has us hiding baskets each year for the kids to find. We get up early and film and take pictures of the kids finding and then raiding, their Easter baskets. This year, hubby had to be at church by 7 am. And he wasn't coming home until shortly before the party started. And you know what? I think this was perhaps the biggest blessing of all. You see, my children weren't so worried about finding their baskets. They were more concerned with helping dad and mom get the little ones ready and going to church. And the little ones didn't complain at all about going to church before they found their baskets.

It wasn't even mentioned.

Not that tradition isn't important. But I will share what an amazing moment I had, when I realized my kids get it. They understand the real reason we celebrate Easter. They understand that while *tradition* is fun, there are just certain things that mean more. And so, we went to church and worshiped and celebrated. It was my first Sunday back, so B-boo kicked me out quickly before I could be caught up in the crowd. She is more like me every day.

And we came home, and they got to work setting up tables and doing the little things that had to wait until the last moment. And it was only after Dad got home that we quickly found our baskets; baskets that are steeped in tradition. The same baskets that Grandma had made for each of them when they were born; the same basket that my oldest son, for the 1st time in 22 years, was not here to receive.

And shortly after, our house was flooded. Flooded with friends that have been there for us for the past two months; for the past year; for the past several years.

We are blessed, indeed. And when we circled up outside for prayer before the feast, I looked around. I was overcome with emotion and tried so hard not to cry as my husband thanked everyone and then asked for the blessing. Our home was brimming; inside and out, with over 80 friends.

They were smiling, laughing, making memories. And it was amazing.

Someone came up to me at one point and commented, "You're not loved are you?"

Her point? 

Our house was full. Full of His love; a love most definitely worth sharing!