The other night three of my best friends and I went out for dinner and a show (Phantom of the Opera) in a late celebration of my big 40. While we were there, one of them commented on how different each of my friends are. I’ve been pondering this over the past couple of days, reflecting on friendship.
Several years ago, I remember praying and asking God to bring me a really close friend. You know, the kind that is always there. The one that you have everything in common with and do everything with. Not long after, God brought a wonderful woman in my life. Our husbands got along great; our children were the same age and gender! We spent some wonderful times together over the next couple of years. We never fought, we were together all the time and we were there for one another. Then, something changed. I’m not really sure what happened, but things changed. All of a sudden, everything was so different. I remember the two of us having a tear filled *goodbye* of sorts as we realized our friendship had become a thing of the past. I was heartbroken. I had thought that she was the friend that I had prayed for and I was apparently wrong. We still talked, but not every morning. We saw each other now and then, but we weren’t together all the time. Things just…changed…and we grew apart. It wasn’t until her husband became seriously ill that our friendship took a serious turn for the better and grew into something more…and then she moved away. 🙂
But, in the time between the struggle and the illness, God showed me that He had other plans for the women in my life; one to fill each area of my needs in friendship. He brought forth friendship in a way that I’d have never dreamed and only He could fulfill.
The first was a sweet, sweet person who was already there. I was just so busy looking for that perfect friend from God that I couldn’t see what He’d already blessed me with. We really don’t have a lot in common and we’re about as opposite as you can get. We grew up in two totally different lifestyles. She grew up in a strong, Christian background with what seemed to be the picture perfect life. All planned out and according to plan; college, career and then children. One of the sweetest women you’ll ever know; the kind that always puts a smile on your face and can make you laugh at anything.
I grew up camping almost every weekend and never went to church. I didn’t graduate from college, didn’t have a career,didn’t find my Savior until I was 22, had a ton of kids, and was a stay at home mom who home schooled.
And yet, from the moment we met, we’ve never stopped talking. She’ll pray for me, lift me up, hold me accountable, and make me laugh. I think for those few years when she was working and I was at home and our lives were so different that I thought maybe I needed more. I was wrong. Our friendship has lasted 16 years now and is such a blessing to me.
Then there’s my short little Jewish friend. She’s so vastly different than anyone I know. She’s a teacher in a small charter school, but has her masters and is so smart and educated I’d never be able to comprehend all that she knows. She sports a short, spiked hair cut that always has some shade of purple or pink to it. She’s got spunk and isn’t afraid to show it! Our friendship spans 10+ years now. We met when our daughter’s were in gymnastics together. I’d probably have to say that our friendship made a turning point when my husband and I went through a time of great trial while battling to keep my niece from a drug infested home. Throughout those few years she was a constant source of strength for me. When I didn’t think I could go on, she was there to physically lend a hand, even if it meant taking one of my children to work with her! Our’s is a spontaneous friendship. We don’t generally have a lot of time to plan, but we work well to just jump in and have at it! We can look at each other and know what the other is thinking and make a strong force when we stand together. Our faiths are so different, yet we’ve managed to have amazing discussions on our differences and pray for and hold each other up despite them. We’ve spent nearly every holiday together for several years now and she is so much more than just a friend.
Last year, I had the pleasure of working with her for nine months as her Teacher’s Assistant. This was, by far, one of the hardest, most exhausting, yet funnest times of my life. It definitely gave me a whole new sense of just what my friend was about and I will treasure it for years to come!
My Always friend, ME, My little Jewish friend
And then there’s my other friend. We’ve known each other for about seven years now. I’d say out of the three of them, this is the one I have the most in common with. We both have five kids and a madhouse most days! I’ll admit I didn’t like her much the first time I met her, but she kind of grows on you! She’s another one that is just there for you through thick and thin. Our daughter’s competed together in gymnastics. She’s the one that would take my allergic daughter with her whenever I needed…and she wasn’t afraid to do it! My youngest daughter has severe food allergies; fatal allergies to peanuts. Most of my friends are afraid to take her on and I can’t say that I blame them. She’s also high strung and fearless, which doesn’t help. When my friend above was helping me with my niece (who was a challenge enough in those days!), this friend would just grab my daughter and take her with her wherever she went. I can’t express how thankful I am for that. She understands my drama queen and relishes her rather than trying to escape from her!
Unfortunately she moved a couple of years ago. That was hard, but even then, God had bigger plans that we couldn’t have begun to see! We mostly stay in touch through text messaging, but we stay together. Last fall, when our older daughter was very sick, we had to take her out of state to a specialist for surgery. I found a surgeon who agreed to take her on and guess what? God had moved my friend to a place within an hour of the hospital. He knew what we’d need years before we needed it and provided it for us! We were able to stay with her for the couple of weeks of surgery and recovery instead of staying in a hotel or Ronald McDonald house.
And so as I think about my friend’s comment the other night, I have to laugh at the four of us! We are quite the team of misfits, and yet, they are so special to me. I think about the prayer of so long ago. The one where I asked God to bring me that one great friend, and how disappointed I was when He didn’t. Now I can say “thank you” to Him, because He knew what I needed and He provided it to me not in one, but three wonderful women who would become more than I could have ever asked for!
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