Smart One - It's a Vivas Thing!

Dec 10 2009

Quotable Quotes #3

Conversation with Chicken Noodle Butt, age 5

Me: "Is it just me, or is it freezing in here?"

Him: "It's just you; but I'm warm, so you should cuddle with me!"

Conversation with the Smart One, age 12

Him: "I can say, "HI" in ten different languages."

Me: "Really?"

Him: "Hi, in ten different languages." Then he smiles and says, "I'm a genius! I should be in college already!"

By the way, I think it should be noted that I'm actually home. I haven't been here for several days. As a matter of fact, I don't think I'll be home again until next Monday except to sleep. So I'm taking advantage of the fact that I have a couple of hours (aside from picking up kids from school) and I'm going to play on the computer.

Maybe.

Apr 23 2009

Laughable Moment #9

Hubby got paid today. That's a good thing…so in celebration, we headed over to Costco! We had decided that it was time to get the pups a bigger doggy bed to lie in during the day in the living room. I was not about to pay pet store prices, so we decided to look at Costco while we were there. We found a pretty nice navy blue one with a really soft pillow. I say this, because the Smart One walked all over Costco with the soft pillow bed on his head. He did this so that I could see where I was pushing the cart. I'm short, in case you didn't know that…and trying to see over a cart full of groceries and a doggy bed just doesn't work for me! (Bruce, if you're reading this, please try hard to refrain from sarcastic remarks and laughter!)

Anyway, we finally make it out of Costco with the Smart One carrying the doggy bed on his head. We get the month's worth of groceries into the van and then I go to climb in the front seat and drive away. Only, I can't…cause what happened next was too funny.

I'm not really paying attention to the Smart One beside me, because I am in a hurry and trying to get through Wally World before I have to pick up the next child from school. All of a sudden I hear,

"The view is great up here!" (Huh?)

I turn to my side, and there sits the Smart One, all seat belted in, sitting on a throne of a doggy bed! He was totally comfortable on his temporary throne! ha ha

He managed to lose his throne when we got home though. Roxy took one look at it and claimed it as her own!

Apr 17 2009

Laughable Moment(s) #8

Sleep walking, Sleep talking. We have certain family members who have become quite good at this. Throughout the years, I've learned to tell when they are awake or asleep. I can even tell dear hubby, "You're asleep, lie down" and he'll say "OK" and lie down and never ever know we had just had a conversation!

One of the most memorable sleep talking times that involved hubby happened when I was eight months pregnant with B-Boo. I was hugely pregnant and sound asleep. I was awoken at 3 am one morning to my husband yanking the covers off of me, straddling my belly and urgently telling me not to move, that there was a spider on the baby. I was frightened to death! He then proceeded to *catch* the imaginary bug, smash it and then lay back down beside me and fall asleep. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to wake him up and clobber him a good one for giving me the scare of my life, but once I regained control of my breathing, I was able to laugh it off, realizing he was sound asleep, and try and get back to sleep myself.

Another famous sleepwalking moment happened when the Smart One was around four. We were coming home from some event and were bringing home pizza with us. He wanted pizza, but fell asleep on the way home, so we put it in the refrigerator and put him to bed. A while later, we were sitting at the kitchen counter talking, and sleepy head walked in and headed straight for the refrigerator.

We thought, "Wow, he really wants that pizza!"

He opened the refrigerator door and stepped up into it and proceeded to open up the pizza box. In the next second, we realized that he thought he was in the bathroom and was urinating in the pizza box, in the refrigerator! We still laugh about that one to this day!

The most recent sleepwalking case happened last night. We had finally gotten the kids to bed and I was attempting to fall asleep. I've been suffering with bronchitis for six weeks now and was finally given some strong cough syrup that was supposed to "knock me out"…not so. Anyway, I'd just started dozing around eleven, when I heard a bang from someone falling. The bathroom light was on in the hallway, so I asked out loud,

"Are you ok?"

A girl's voice replied, "Yeah."

I continued dozing for a few moments and then realized I hadn't heard a flush and the light was still on, so I got up to go check on the Drama Queen. She was sitting there with her pants around her ankles, staring into space with a glazed look in her eyes. The only problem was that she was sitting on the edge of the bathtub with her bare fanny hanging over the tub!

I asked her if she had fallen into the tub. "Yeah."

I asked her if she had gone potty. "Yeah."

I didn't have my glasses on, so I couldn't tell if she'd gone in the tub or not, but I put her on the toilet and proceeded to clean the tub. By now she was awake and realized her pants were wet. From the way they were wet, it looked like she'd fallen into the tub onto something wet. Hmmm. I retrieved some clean underwear and jammies for her, got her dressed, and promptly guided her back to bed.

…and these, are the nights, of our lives.

Mar 17 2009

Laughable Moment #5

We have a thief, or thieves, in our home. It's true. We just can't deny it any longer. It's hard as a parent to recognize this and just accept it for what it is. Last night, the Talented One was doing his homework on his bedroom floor. He had his mp3 player sitting next to him. He went on with his evening, playing his piano, showering, etc. When he went to get his mp3, he found it was missing. He searched everywhere for it, but could not find it anywhere. He searched his bed, drawers, anywhere that he might have left it, all the time insisting that he'd left it right where he was doing his homework. Finally, he went to bed, frustrated.

This morning, he still could not find it. He has proficiencies today, and was not a happy camper about his mp3 player. I got up early to make sure he had a good breakfast and then went outside to feed the dogs. Guess what I found sitting right outside the dog door?

Yup, you guess it! The mp3 player had been found. Joey had been sitting with him the night before while he did his homework. We figure when he was left alone, he decided to grab the cord and run with it. We're having that problem with the pups right now. Usually it's socks or a soft toy. They are learning, but they are puppies after all and have to be taught! I told my son last night to check outside and see if the dogs had gotten it, but it did seem like they would have left it alone since it's a hard piece of plastic. Nope…they're thieves.

My son was relieved to find that no harm had fallen on his mp3
player (although I thought I heard some muttering about shooting the
dogs), and I got a great chuckle this morning.

The Smart One with Joey the Thief

Does he look like a thief to you?

Mar 14 2009

Drama Dog

Look at this face!

Does he look like a drama king to you? Does he just exude pitifulness? (I realize pitifulness is not a real word, but it fits here.)

This is Joey. He's one of the two pups that we got for Christmas. I should have figured out something about this puppy when we first got him. We were there for at least 30 minutes before the owner could even find Joey! He was in hiding because he was afraid of the vacuum cleaner. We were about to leave with his half-sister, Roxy, when he finally decided to make an appearance. He just cuddled right into the Smart One and there was no way we could say no. Roxy was a maniac ball of fluff and Joey was the hold me, love, never ever leave me dog.

In the almost three months that we've had Joey, he's had one ailment after another! First, he started losing his hair. Not just a little, but a lot! He was the most pitiful thing I've ever seen after a while. He looked like a dog with a reverse something! Super short hair on his head and shoulders, and long hair on his back and butt! We took him to the vet to have him checked out while getting their shots.

As soon as we got home, we had to rush Joey back to the vet. Turns out he had an allergic reaction to the vaccine. The poor dog just went nuts! He got to spend a couple hours at the vet that day. Next time we took him back I had to give him benadryl and then they split the shots to make sure he didn't react again.

A week or so later, the vet calls. Turns out the tests came back positive for ringworm. Ok, so we had to sanitize the dogs, the kennels, get the carpet cleaned, etc.

Did I mention he's a wimp, too? He whines; a lot. Roxy will find anyway to escape from confinement. I always know when she's escaped because Joey starts howling. He's too afraid to try. That's probably because the one time he attempted it, he did it wrong and got his head stuck. It's a good think my wonderful hubby recognized his howling that time as a cry for help instead of a "that's not fair she got out" again cry.

A few weeks ago we took the dogs to the groomer. I just couldn't take it anymore! Joey needed something to be done about his hair issue. You could tell he was scared when we picked him up, but he looked a lot better.

A week later, Joey was whiny. He's a whiny dog, but this time his whine was different. So, we rushed him off to the vet. Bad ear infection. Great. That meant two weeks of ear wash and ear drops for him, plus pain pills because he was obviously in great pain. Poor baby. Good thing for him we were out of town for the first couple of days, so he had wonderful attention from a good friend. I'm sure he misses her now.

He did manage to surprise us though! He was the first one to climb the stairs. Roxy, the brave heart, is just now climbing those stairs. Joey didn't want to get left behind, so went up them one morning. He stopped halfway though when he realized just what he'd done. I could not get him to come down. B-Boo started coming down to get him, but he started backing up. I could see what was about to happen, so yelled at her to stop and ran over, but it was too late. He backed himself right off of the staircase and took a fall to the tile below. We were amazed that he wasn't injured!

The Smart One carries Joey around like a baby. Seriously, he holds him over his shoulder and walks around with Joey resting his head on his shoulder. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen! The other day I was sitting at the table reading with Joey in my lap. He just kept whining. I kept telling him to hush up. He was upset because Roxy was in the other room with the Drama Queen. The next thing I know, he manages to push his way up on my shoulder and lean his head on me. And he stopped whining. He is so stinking spoiled!

Today took the cake! B-Boo was bathing the dogs since I'm bedridden with a nasty bout of bronchitis. She washed Roxy first and then handed her off for me to cuddle. A bit later, she comes out with Joey. When Joey gets out of the bath he loves to run around and rub his head and body over everything. It's a dog thing. She tells me that Joey is hurt; he can not walk. She doesn't know what he did, he just started crying. I told her to put him down, and sure enough, his front right paw is just hanging there. He won't put it down, and he's in so much pain that he just falls down and won't get up. B-Boo brought him to me so I could check him out. He's whining and whimpering and carrying on. We're sitting on the bed trying to figure out what to do.

This is the part where I stop and tell you how wonderful my husband is. He never complains about this dog, he just goes with the flow. He hasn't had a weekend; he spent Friday night taking me to urgent care and today running errands for me with the kids. I'm really thinking at this point.

We try to get Joey up one more time and, I kid you not, the dog just looks at us like we're crazy for trying to make him stand up and slumps his body back down on the bed, looking at us with his pitiful little face. I'm thinking, great, now I have to break the news to the Smart One and tell hubby he has to take the dog to the vet. So I tell B-Boo to please have her father come upstairs. He comes in and we shut the door to discuss the dog. Sure enough, Joey won't stand up. It was pathetic. We have no idea what happened, but his paw was just hanging there, so we're concerned. Hubby took the Smart One with him and off to the vet they go.

Twenty minutes later, hubby calls me from the vet. Joey is fine now. He's walking around, jumping, playing and having a grand time. You have got to be kidding me!

Turns out there's not a thing wrong with his leg. It is a good thing we took him in though, apparently his ear still needs the drops. Of course!