It comes to an end. Or a beginning.
They are moving home. They are filled with joy because they are going home to their mother. Starting at a new school; a new beginning.
I want to feel that joy, but to be honest, my heart is breaking. As much as I look forward to putting my own family back together, I ache at the loss of those two precious children. When I come home from work; they will be gone. There will be no more fights to brush the teeth and comb the hair; no more arguing; no more appointments that take up so much of our time.
But there will also be no more laughing at the ridiculous things that he says and does. No more praying for dreams of dragonflies and butterflies. No more, “Aunt Hope, can we talk?” before she goes to bed. No more hugs. No more…
Instead, there will be time for those who have patiently waited for the past 18 months. Now, when they ask, I won’t have to put them off; but instead, I hope to put them first. I pray that we’ll make the most of our new time together. I hope to make each moment count.
As my heart breaks, is it possible to be filled with joy as we start a new beginning? I think so….and for today, I’ll find my joy within…just for the joy of it.