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Quotable Quotes #4

This morning I had the nightmare privilege of standing in a rather long line at the local state office. It was packed and the line was well, REALLY long. People were frustrated, children were crying and attitudes were short. I just wanted to make my way through the line without getting stepped on or pushed too much.

And then, the following conversation took place between two 3 year olds; one a girl and one a boy. It continued on even after I left, but the funniest part went something like this:

Little girl sings "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" really loud.

Boy, "I can sing that, too."

Girl, "My mom says I'm cute."

Boy, "My dad says I'm awesome."

Girl, "My mom says I'm the best."

I giggle.

Boy, "I can jump."

Girl, "I can jump higher."

I giggle again.

Girl, "Have two dogs. I have poodles."

Boy, "I have a really big dog, Shadow."

I'm laughing out loud now.

Girl, "I have a baby." (She was holding a doll.)

Boy, "I have a real baby. He's David. Do you want him?" (His baby brother was sitting next to him.)

Girl just sort of looks at him. I am hysterical now, as well as the rest of the waiting room. Then, she replies,

"I can jump higher!"

And they started all over again. They were still trying to out do each other when I finally left. But hey, it was entertaining!

Quotable Quotes #3

Conversation with Chicken Noodle Butt, age 5

Me: "Is it just me, or is it freezing in here?"

Him: "It's just you; but I'm warm, so you should cuddle with me!"

Conversation with the Smart One, age 12

Him: "I can say, "HI" in ten different languages."

Me: "Really?"

Him: "Hi, in ten different languages." Then he smiles and says, "I'm a genius! I should be in college already!"

By the way, I think it should be noted that I'm actually home. I haven't been here for several days. As a matter of fact, I don't think I'll be home again until next Monday except to sleep. So I'm taking advantage of the fact that I have a couple of hours (aside from picking up kids from school) and I'm going to play on the computer.

Maybe.

Quotable Quotes #2

From Grandma,

"I loveeee disasters!"

Lengthy pause.

"Wait! Let me explain!"

Conversation with B-boo as she puts on her brother's jacket.

"I feel bright this morning."

"Nope, you're the same smart as you are everyday."

"Was that an insult?"

During bible study with my son, we were talking about respect. I asked him,

"How can we show respect to our elders?"

"Who are our elders, Mom?"

I gave him some examples of elders in our life. His response?

"Oh! Well, you know, I can show respect to them, by, you know, helping them if they have bodily conditions that keep them from doing things."

Quotable Quotes #1

Conversation with B-boo. (Please note it was 84 degrees outside!)

"Get your shoes off of my couch!"

"I don't wear them outside!"

"Yes, but they'll ruin my couch!"

"But my feet are cold."

"You're wearing purple socks!"

"Purple doesn't keep my feet warm."

"Yes, it does."

"No, mom. Purple is close to blue and blue means cold and my feet are cold!"

Teenagers have the weirdest conversations. Just when I think I'm up on the latest wording, I find out I'm wrong!

Him: "My hair looks sick today!"

Me: "Is that good?"

Her: "Yes, Mom, that's cool."

He grins.

Her:"His hair's so sick, it has a fever!"

(Does that mean it's hot? Never mind…I don't want to know.)

As Chicken Noodle Butt rolls around on the floor, he shouts,

"Look, Aunt Hope, I can make my body in an *O*!"

And here's one from me! A new favorite saying that I'm sure I'll use over and over. (I won't say which child I had the privilege of saying this to!)

"You can't help it; You're directionally challenged!"

And from hubby:

"It's not cheating, it's creative maneuvering!"

I made gluten free chicken dumplings the other day. I called up the Smart One to let him know he could eat them. His reply?

"I know, Mom. I'm in the process of eating my second bowl right now."

He's eleven. Who talks like that at eleven?

Funny Things Kids Say

When told that Mom was done driving everyone around, the drama queen, 8 years old said,

"So mom, if I want to go anywhere tomorrow, I have to walk or figure it out, right?"

We were watching a movie the other night that had Lindsey Lohan in it. When this same child saw her, she remarked,

"They need to feed her in real life. She's too skinny!"


One day when the Talented One was about 4 years old we were at my oldest son's baseball game. We were all sitting on the bleachers, which were full that day. Grandpa was sitting on the lower rung and our son was sitting on one higher up. He stood up and proclaimed to the whole world that day,

"Grandpa! Did you know you have a hole on your head?!"

Poor Grandpa was so embarrassed! Now the whole world knew he had a bald spot!

Another time this same son was looking at his grandmother's hand and asked her,
"Grandma, how come you have all those cracks in your hand?"
Poor Grandma had to explain that they were wrinkles.

And then there's our youngest son. When he was about eight years old, he started growing his hair out longer. Before then, he'd always worn it very short. A friend (bald) remarked to him one day,
"Boy, you need a haircut!"
To which he quickly replied,
"Well, at least I have hair."
It was definitely a spewing moment!

But the one that takes the cake for the week had us in stitches tonight. Seriously, I had tears pouring down my cheeks it was so funny! Our two youngest have been having a week of not being very nice to each other. After the final straw tonight, hubby marched them up to our room for a good shaking the fear into them! They are both standing there with tears streaming down their faces as hubby explains to them the need to be kind and loving towards each other. I add in the "treat others as you want to be treated" part, etc, etc.

And then it happened. The Drama Queen just couldn't take it anymore and wails out loudly and with as much drama as she can muster,

"I try to be nice! I'm trying really hard! I can't help it if God made me this way!"

Ok, she was so earnest….and we tried to take her serious, honest we did. But when we looked at The Smart One's face and saw him trying really hard not to laugh as tears were streaming down his face, we just lost it. I mean, I tried biting my lip. I tried turning my face. I did, honest. But….it just bubbled out! We were downright laughing out loud, the three of us, as my poor Drama Queen just stood there wailing. Which made us feel even worse….and continued the drama….until she at least smiled through her tears.

After things were all settled, hubby and I got a moment to ourselves…and just started giggling again. We couldn't help it! The mental picture will be with us for years to come!