Humor - It's a Vivas Thing!

Nov 13 2009

Laughable Moment #23

Boys will be boys, right? Yah.

The other day, the Smart One got up out of bed. We were surprised as he didn't have school..and well, let's just say he isn't exactly a morning person. He was still in his clothes from the day before. We had a good laught about boys being boys, which then led into a discussion of junior high boys and their lack of …er…care about their hygeine. Which led to more laughs as we discussed how boy will just be boys and just don't care.

And then I went upstairs.

A few moments later, B-boo came into my room laughing.

I'll try my best to give you the visual. Watching B-boo as she re-enacted the story was priceless.

She said that the bathroom door was open, so she opened it a bit more to tell Chicken Noodle Butt to hurry up and brush his teeth and come downstairs because we were leaving to go get him some pants. She was telling him this as she opened the door to find him in the *boys takes a whiz stand.* He was pushed forward taking a whiz while brushing his teeth.

His response?

A muffled *ok* while he continued to whiz and brush his teeth at the same time!

Yeah, boys will be boys alright!

Nov 11 2009

Why Mom’s Can’t Sleep

It's a holiday today. As a homeschool mom, I'll be sure to remind my kids why they don't have school today and to pray for those families whose members are serving or have served in our armed forces. And I'm not making light of what today is. But holidays mean something around here.

I have six kids at home. Count them…six. (I have a college student but he lives on his own, so he doesn't count in this post.)

Six kids means that I can have six different places to be on any given day. It means, everyday, I have four public school schedules to keep to at three different schools, plus working homeschooling around my youngest. Whew! It makes me dizzy thinking about it. Add in doctor appointments, counseling appointments, sports, activities, etc…and I am one tired mom!

Which brings me back to a holiday. It means I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to take anyone to school! Don't get me wrong; I love getting up at the crack of dawn and making breakfast for my kids and having that special time in the morning. But I'm getting older and tired.

So back to that holiday anyway! Last night, hubby made the littlest ones promise not to wake up anyone…at all…this morning. (I did tell him that he should realize that is a promise they won't be able to keep. The Princess can't stand being alone, quiet, for anything and Chicken Noodle Butt will find something to cry over.)

I also have this problem. Once I'm awake, that's it for me. I can not go back to sleep. It's the same for me at night, too. Wake me up, I'm up.

A friend asked the other day how can she be so tired and yet not fall asleep. I replied that it's the brain. It finally has time to function, so it goes into full mode. Mom's go to bed wondering if they've accomplished everything they should have during that day and wondering how they can get the everything accomplished the next! Unfortunately, God forgot to give us a turn off switch for our brains.

So this morning, it's a holiday. I don't have to be anywhere. I get to sleep in, right?

At 6:47, the little one goes into the bathroom. He's talking as loud as he can about counting and the fact that something is yellow. I pretend I don't hear him, but he starts to get louder. I finally just say, "Shhh!" He stops, and it becomes quiet again.

Next thing I know, my phone goes off. Now, I know that I turned off the alarm, so this means it's a person. It's 7:03 and my sister-in-law wants to know if I want to go to the parade today. I tell her I'm asleep and ask when and where. She says she was asleep, too, but mom woke her up so she's texting me with one eye open. I consider the parade.

"The little ones might like it. That means I'll have to wake the older kids up. That means I'll have to get up soon and make breakfast. Oh wait, we're all supposed to be sleeping in until whenever we want today. We do need sleep. But hold on. Chicken Noodle Butt needs pants and it's supposed to get cold tomorrow. I'm supposed to find time to get him pants today…and it needs to be cheap. Penneys might be having a sale since it's a holiday, or I can take him to Savers. It sure would be nice if hubby had a job. If I take them to the parade the Drama Queen will be walking around a lot on that broken growth plate. She'll probably like that but we really should keep her off of her feet. Oh, that's why I promised her we'd paint today. Oh man, that means a mess…I wonder if I can con Chicken Noodle Butt into doing something else. I could give him a puzzle. Maybe I we could all work on a puzzle together. Oh wait, I need to call the ortho doctor and find out where his leg braces are. Today's the eleventh and they told me to call today if I didn't hear from them. Speaking of doctor visits, I need to make them a dental appointment, too. I wonder when I can get them in. Speaking of teeth, maybe I should make a good breakfast today. I could make biscuits and gravy. That sounds really good, but it will have to be for a late lunch/early dinner because I need to thaw out the sausage. I'll have to look up a recipe for gluten free biscuits for the Smart One, and I'll need take out part of the sausage to make the Drama Queen dairy free gravy. That reminds me, I still haven't replaced the broken skillet, but I think I can manage with the pot. Giggle…I better make sure the Drama Queen doesn't touch it otherwise she might break another toe. Speaking of gluten free recipes, I need to find one that doesn't have eggs so I can still make stuffing this year for Thanksgiving. Did someone let the dogs out? I hope they gave them water. Oh man, they need a bath today. I wonder if the kids can handle their baths by themselves. Roxy is a pain to bathe. We really should have named her Marley; dumb dog."

About this time, I realize the toilet is running, so I get up to go jiggle the handle. Chicken Noodle Butt starts crying about something, so I head over to find out what is wrong with him. Hubby comes upstairs to take over and let me sleep. Yeah, ok. I head back to my room and lie down. I text sister-in-law to tell her the plan for today was for everyone to sleep in as late as they want. She laughs; I laugh.

I try to go back to sleep.

"I wonder what to get the Good Looking One for his birthday. Poor boy has to work on his birthday. It really would be cool if we could all show up with a cake and sing to him at work. I wonder if he'd get fired if we did that? Maybe if hubby is working we can take him out to lunch. It will probably be pretty crowded though since it's black friday. Oh, I hate going out on black friday…who does that anyway? It was fun though, last year, when he took us out in the middle of the night. Boy, was it cold. That reminds me, what are we going to do for the Smart One's birthday. I can't believe he's almost 12. He'll be hitting puberty soon, that will be fun. I wonder if the Good Looking One will teach him how to shave, too. The Talented One loved that! Christmas is coming soon. What will we do? What do you get a 22 year old? The little ones are easy; legos and barbies will make them happy.And they do seem happy a little don't they? I wonder if we'll end up adopting them. Where will we put them? I wonder if I can get a good job and just have all of my salary go into adding some rooms on the house? Then we'd all fit. Speaking of fitting, I can't believe the Talented One and the Smart One are graduating college and high school the same year. Can we really throw a big party for the graduations and the 18th birthday all at once? It could be like a family reunion! That's be great. Where would we hold it?"

8:25, I get another text message. This time from Punky, asking me to bring the choir book so she can make copies. "It sure would have been great to skip activities tonight, too." I text her back ok.

I write this blog.

It's now 8:46 am. Hubby thinks I'm sleeping. I think I'll go make some coffee and cuddle with him.

No, no parade today. It's quiet in the house for now and somehow, that seems a much better way to spend my morning.

Nov 07 2009

Saturday Fun!

Today was a big day for the Smart One. He was testing for his 2nd Degree red belt. Big, because his next test is pre-black belt and then the big black belt test! Whew! He's worked hard for the past three years.

Wasn't he cute back then?

Today, testing was much harder. And I think it's fair to say he was a bit nervous!

But look at the knife thing he does with his hands?

And those kicks! I can't even lift my leg that high!

Testing is also about being able to stay with the rest of them.

It takes discipline and teamwork to stay together!

Sometimes, it also means you're on your own!

I know I probably shouldn't, but I love this shot! It's not that I like violence, honest, but hey, he's learning self-defense and self-control. They have to know how to not hurt each other, too! And you have to admit…this is a great shot! I thought the next two were pretty good, too!

As long as he doesn't take his siblings down like that, we're ok!

Oh, and when you become a higher rank, you have to spar two against one! Yikes!

But it's so worth it, when you get the new belt! There's only one belt in the way of that black belt now!

So in celebration, we headed out for sushi. The boy has taken up a true love for this food! We took B-boo along with us. Honestly, what were we thinking?

A) She doesn't know how to use chopsticks.

B) She has only ever had sushi from a grocery store; you know, the kind that is already made and you know what you are getting!

As an appetizer, we ordered Edamame. B-boo was pretty hesitant at eating these. She's only seen us eat them dried, like a chip…sort of. She exclaimed that they were weird to eat because they felt hairy. We tried to explain to her that you're supposed to put the pod in your mouth and suck the beans out. She thought we were nuts; but she tried it. And she must have sucked pretty hard, too, because the bean went flying across the room! (It's a good thing there wasn't anyone there!) After we finished our laughter, we actually got her to try again. And again, the bean went flying across the room! By this time, we'd received our sushi. We ordered for her since she had no idea what she'd actually like!

You'd think
chopsticks would be easier than sucking out soybeans, right? Nope! At one point, she actually just went to stabbing the thing! We continued to laugh at her issues, and then hubby remembered they carry trainers!

"They have trainers? Why didn't you tell me? I want a trainer!"

So they brought her one.

And the poor little sushi went flying; landing under the table.

She finally just picked the sushi up with her fingers, poor girl.

Nov 04 2009

More Drama

I was telling my friend, Punky, the other day about how much the Drama Queen is really full of drama! She's been that way since I found out I was pregnant with her. To date, here is her drama:

Almost miscarried; then found out I had placenta previa.

Made it through that to have a not so fun delivery.

Sick baby; for months. Finally found out it was food allergies.

She's had many anaphylactic episodes. None of them fun. Obviously.

She tried to chop off two of her toes. Once she was all stitched up and I threw away my white overalls (somehow I didn't think the blood stains would come off!), we took her home where we were told she'd probably not walk for a few days. I laughed. She was running in the backyard and climbing her Mulberry tree the minute we got home!

She swallowed a penny. Insisted it was stuck. Vitals were good, but let's do an x-ray anyway; oh…it's stuck in her throat, let's take her by ambulance to the children's hospital for surgery. After surgery, we're told she won't be able to eat anything for a few days. I laugh. She insists we get her breakfast on the way home as she's starved.

She splits her head open. BAD! CT scan comes out good, so we head home with 17 staples. We're told she'll probably sleep all day. I laugh. We're told to keep her down for the next 48 hours. I laugh again…this time from hysteria.

She drops a Plexiglas drum container on her foot. It probably weighs a couple hundred pounds. She stops crying, but I take her to urgent care anyway. It seems like she's ok….but, she has her mama's high tolerance for pain. The doc takes an x-ray because I insist that it really could have hurt her. Then she sends us on our way, stating that there is no way it is broke because she can move it. Ok. Then she calls us back. The growth plate is indeed broken; doc is shocked. I laugh. She gives us a special shoe:

And tell us to keep her off her foot. We laugh. We go home and decorate the shoe. We also decorate the next three that she goes through. One each week that she manages to destroy. Finally, I just stick her back in her sneakers. Oh…and she loves to gross adults out by showing them which toes is broken…as she moves it. NOOOO!

We've managed to keep her pretty safe for over a year now…almost two!

And then, I made the mistake of asking her to put the dishes away. Simple really, right? Until I hear that scream. You know the one; the one that says someone is hurt? Yeah, that one.

I came around the corner to see a magic blade knife on the counter. I can't see anything but the Drama Queen's head. I say a quick prayer, "Please, Lord, don't let it be blood. I can't handle stitches or staples today."

It turned out it was the stainless steel, copper bottom pot that fell out of her hand and onto….

Yup, the same toe! I wait for a little bit, even though I see it bruising already. Then, hubby and I discuss the situation.

"Well, there was the penny that no one wanted to believe was really stuck. And there was the toe that couldn't possibly be broken."

I call the foot doctor and explain the situation. He says bring her in. Just to be safe. Sure, ok.

The result?

Not only did she manage to fracture her toe again…but the same exact growth plate…again. Yes, she has now twice broken the same growth plate.

Apparently its not good to keep breaking the same growth plate.

Apparently she needs to not move it. (insert hysterical laughter)

Apparently the young-looking foot doctor has met enough of my family now to take me serious when I say she'll break those wooden shoes. (She takes after me; the one who fractured her foot big time and still has no idea how it happened!)

Apparently he's smarter than us; because he gave her a boot to decorate.

One that he insists she can not tear apart. Or break. Or destroy.

Oh, and apparently she's not allowed to climb trees for three or more weeks. And apparently she can't dance.

Which set off more drama…because there are only a couple of things that she requires for her happiness…her mulberry tree and her dancing. So much so, that tonight as I discussed her foot with her dance teacher on Sundays, she suggested letting her sit on the edge of the stage and at least do the hand motions.

But then, we had an *ah ha!* moment. And we remembered that it was the Drama Queen we are talking about. And we had to agree with the doc. No dance. Cause she'll be up on that stage unable to contain her merry self…and jumping around on that toe…and doing some serious harm (again) to that growth plate that just wants to be left alone.

Yea, I'm thinking maybe stitches would have been better. The healing time is shorter.

Nov 02 2009

Weekend Blogging

Weekend blogging doesn't happen a lot for me. Why? Because I have six children living at home; translation? I'm too busy to blog! This weekend was a four day weekend to top it off! So here goes!

Thursday to Friday was our youth lock-in. This meant I was up all night. Yes…ALLLLL night!