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Humor in All Things

It's interesting being stuck in bed; at the mercy of you're family. The home nurse told them to watch for a few things:

Fever

Chills

and craziness. As in, if I started saying or doing crazy things, they need to call the doctor.

Those of you who know us well, stop laughing!

I've put up with all kinds of *crazy* jokes. "Oh, should we call the doctor?"

It's worse when I know in my head what I'm trying to say, but I just can't get it out correctly. And I can't seem to remember what day it is. I am totally not in control.

My husband likes that.

B-boo and Hubby have learned how to administer my antibiotics through the picc line. Hubby likes to joke about air bubbles, while B-boo takes her job very seriously. (Hubby is serious, too, he just likes to find as much humor as he can.)

We have mini celebrations of accomplishments.

"Look, I can lift my feet up by myself!"

"Look, I can get into bed by myself!"

"Look, you don't have to push me up the stairs anymore!"

There's humor in how to position my pillows.

Humor in the bruises and holes in my arms. Ah…there's fun with that one.

Humor in grossing out some of my kids with the picc line.

Humor in who's really in control now that I have no control. 🙂

Humor in that breathing contraption thing; they love to torture me and encourage me to hit my mark the correct amount of times. And they know I can't chase them down, so they find humor in that!

For now, they're in charge. I guess that's a good thing. They've had to have learned it from someone, right?

Yup, humor in all things.

Yes, HPN really does this!

True Story #1

Call from my surgeon this morning.

"You're not going to like this. HPN should approve your surgery within a couple of hours, however, they won't let you have the surgery at the hospital."

"But my doctor's don't go to the other hospital."

Later, I speak to the hospital. They're complaint? Well, HPN is agreeing to the surgery at the hospital and agreeing to pay the doctor, but they refuse to pay the hospital. OY!

We finally got it in writing that the hospital will get paid, too. God is good.

Later in the day………..

True Story #2

I get a call from surgeon #2 in regards to my surgery. He has switched over to a new office, which is good, because I get to keep him! I had informed HPN this morning that I wanted to keep him as my primary, especially since he is doing my surgery.

So anywho, the doctor's office called me in regards to my surgery. While I have them on the phone, I ask her about my biopsy results. I told her that I was simply told I did not have cancer and have never been told anything else. She puts me on hold; comes back and says the doctor is requesting that I come in so he can give me my results in person, showing me the reports and making sure I take a copy with me. Then she transfers me to scheduling.

The scheduler asks me my insurance. I tell her HPN. She wants to know if I've picked them as my primary. I say yes. She wants to know when the effective date is. I tell her I don't know, they didn't tell me that this morning when I picked him. She says I can't see him until HPN has finished their paperwork, because they won't pay for the appointment. I tell her that they are paying him to do my surgery on Saturday. She says it doesn't matter, I can't see him in the office per HPN until they have added him officially. I ask how long that takes. She says 30 days. I laugh hysterically. Then I tell her that it's ridiculous that I have to wait for THIRTY more days for an appointment to get my results because my insurance won't let me see the doctor that is doing my surgery in TWO days. She puts me on hold.

Next thing I know, the surgery scheduler is back on the phone. She says she's talked to the doctor and he told her to tell me that he understands and that he is personally going to bring copies of my records with him and go over the results of my biopsy with me on Saturday before my surgery.

True Story #3

While I was on the phone with HPN this morning, I mentioned that my son's dermatologist is on their provider list and that he is supposed to have an appointment in a couple of weeks. She says I can't keep it because it won't get paid. She states that I have to see his primary first. (That's a 30 day wait). Then, the primary has to refer him back to the dermatologist that he has an appointment with. (another 30 day wait.) Then he can see the doctor.

So let me get this straight…they are paying more money, to make him go to yet another doctor, just so he can go to his first doctor, because they are trying to save money. Yeah, that makes a lot of good, common sense!

Laughable Moment #24

We need a "Do Not Disturb" sign for our door. Our door locks, but it won't stay shut if you push it hard enough.

Which kind of defeats the purpose of a lock.

After a long day, Hubby and I were trying to re-group before moving on with the evening activities. The Princess barges in. I tell her, "The door is closed, go out and do not come in my room again without knocking."

She starts to talk.

I sternly tell her to leave. She does; then knocks and we give up and let her in. She wants help memorizing her verses for AWANA tonight. We help.

She leaves; closes the door.

Drama Queen barges in. I firmly tell her to get out. She may not come in without knocking on the door. She talks. I tell her to leave.

She goes out and knocks. I say, "Come in."

She wants help with her verses. We help. She leaves.

Chicken Noodle Butt comes barging in. We order him out because he can't barge in and didn't knock. He leaves. Knocks. Comes in. Says he has the hiccups. I tell him to go drink water.

Another knock. Drama Queen again. More help with verses.

Another knock. Princess again. More verses.

Another knock. Chicken Noodle Butt again. Tattling. Just leave.

Another knock. Drama Queen again. We tell her not to come back until 5:25. She wants to know how long that is. I tell her 25 minutes; shut the door.

We've now forgotten what we were trying to talk about. All I can manage is that my eye hurts. (I somehow poked my eye with a comb this morning and managed to cut it. Yeah, I know; stop laughing.)

Scratching at the door. More scratching at the door. Even more scratching at the door.

At least the dog knows how to knock. We let him in. He's happy and asleep at the foot of the bed. So is hubby, only he's snoring, too.

It's 5:21 and I've got to push "publish" before they come back again in four minutes!

Quotable Quotes #6

She has really gone bonkers this time! We're sitting here watching "Bones" together and B-boo turns to me and says,

"If I'm ever murdered, I want you and Punky to do everything you can to make sure I'm on this show!"

I cannot believe she said that! Then she says,

"Punky has connections. She's a producer!"

(I'm sorry, Punky, but you've helped feed the monster!)

Chicken Noodle Butt was talking to someone the other day. He mentioned something about pirates. She couldn't understand what he was talking about. He said his pirates. She asked him again what he was talking about. He leans over and whispers to her,
"We're not supposed to talk about our pirates."

Through fits of giggles, we figured it out. He was talking about his privates, not his pirates!

Quotable Quotes #5

As we were driving on a raining highway the other night, B-boo noticed some *hobos* in a tent in a ditch off of a nearby frontage road. She has a heart for these people and has even started a ministry for them. I'll do anything for this child, but it was almost dark, pouring rain, and it'd been a very long day.

This morning, B-boo, the Talented One and I were driving near the area on our way to his weekly Bowling league. Conversation went something like this:

B-Boo, "Hey, we should go drive by and see if the hobos are still there!"

Me, "You're crazy! Hey, did you remember the coupons."

B-Boo, "Yes."

Me, "I figured you did. You're the responsible one. If you ever did anything irresponsible it would probably be because of your brother. (the Talented One)"

Talented One, "I like Hobos."

B-boo & I crack up.

Me, "Your twin needs to shave his face. He's getting hairy."

Talented One, laughing. "I told him two weeks, but he thought it was three weeks without shaving, so I let him. I want to see what his face looks like."

Me, "You probably did say three weeks, but thought two weeks. He'll probably laugh thinking he's grown more hair than you!"

Talented One, "I only shaved my chin. I'm keeping my soul patch."

B-boo & I crack up again.

"You're WHAT???"

Talented One, "My soul patch. That's what Pastor M calls it."

After we were done laughing, the conversation carried on. But I probably shouldn't share it; it had to do with my mammogram post and well, we should really move forward now.

Incidentally, the Talented One & his Twin had an interesting encounter with a *hobo* after they were done bowling. I've yet to hear the full story, but I know it involved them receiving a hand made cross in return for their generosity.   God is good.