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Funny Things Kids Say

When told that Mom was done driving everyone around, the drama queen, 8 years old said,

"So mom, if I want to go anywhere tomorrow, I have to walk or figure it out, right?"

We were watching a movie the other night that had Lindsey Lohan in it. When this same child saw her, she remarked,

"They need to feed her in real life. She's too skinny!"


One day when the Talented One was about 4 years old we were at my oldest son's baseball game. We were all sitting on the bleachers, which were full that day. Grandpa was sitting on the lower rung and our son was sitting on one higher up. He stood up and proclaimed to the whole world that day,

"Grandpa! Did you know you have a hole on your head?!"

Poor Grandpa was so embarrassed! Now the whole world knew he had a bald spot!

Another time this same son was looking at his grandmother's hand and asked her,
"Grandma, how come you have all those cracks in your hand?"
Poor Grandma had to explain that they were wrinkles.

And then there's our youngest son. When he was about eight years old, he started growing his hair out longer. Before then, he'd always worn it very short. A friend (bald) remarked to him one day,
"Boy, you need a haircut!"
To which he quickly replied,
"Well, at least I have hair."
It was definitely a spewing moment!

But the one that takes the cake for the week had us in stitches tonight. Seriously, I had tears pouring down my cheeks it was so funny! Our two youngest have been having a week of not being very nice to each other. After the final straw tonight, hubby marched them up to our room for a good shaking the fear into them! They are both standing there with tears streaming down their faces as hubby explains to them the need to be kind and loving towards each other. I add in the "treat others as you want to be treated" part, etc, etc.

And then it happened. The Drama Queen just couldn't take it anymore and wails out loudly and with as much drama as she can muster,

"I try to be nice! I'm trying really hard! I can't help it if God made me this way!"

Ok, she was so earnest….and we tried to take her serious, honest we did. But when we looked at The Smart One's face and saw him trying really hard not to laugh as tears were streaming down his face, we just lost it. I mean, I tried biting my lip. I tried turning my face. I did, honest. But….it just bubbled out! We were downright laughing out loud, the three of us, as my poor Drama Queen just stood there wailing. Which made us feel even worse….and continued the drama….until she at least smiled through her tears.

After things were all settled, hubby and I got a moment to ourselves…and just started giggling again. We couldn't help it! The mental picture will be with us for years to come!



Dinner Conversation Anyone?

You know, lately our meals at the table had become almost non-existent. It seems the older kids would come in from school, grab a snack (or a plate of food) and head to their rooms. I make *dinner* early a lot of days because that is when they are most hungry and it just makes sense to have a meal ready in the early afternoon rather than later when they've already scarfed down a plate of food only an hour or two before.

So anyway, in our larger family activities are constant and it seemed like family meals were becoming a thing of the past. And then….we got our carpets cleaned. I planted my feet firmly and said, "No more food in your rooms, in the living room or anywhere but the kitchen!" That gives them two options; kitchen table or kitchen counter/bar.

At first they fought it, but I think they are coming around. I'm enjoying a talkative breakfast with my two younger kids before starting on their home school for the day.

When the two older ones get home, I actually get to talk to them about how their day went…and they pay attention because they're stuck there if they want to eat!

Meals around the table are becoming the norm again…and personally, I think they like it. The conversation alone is something worth sitting there for! They go something like this:

"So how were swim lessons today?"

"It was fun!"

"So, was the chicken, star, rocket really as hard as it looked?"

"I kept mixing the chicken and the star wrong."

"What is the chicken, star, rocket?"

"It's the breast stroke."

"Well, when I took lessons it was monkey, banana, tree!"

"What about the frog thing?"

"Oh, the dolphin was hard."

"You mean the porpoise?"

"What's with all the animals anyway?"

And that's just a snippet of one conversation! Usually there are at least two conversations going on at once and they can get quite confusing, especially if you're part of one and then forget who you are talking to! All of a sudden the table is roaring with laughter because someone will say something that makes absolutely no sense because they've combined the conversations! You've got to be able to keep up at our table!

We're having fun again. I hope they'll remember our laughter around the table when they get older. It's really these moments that are priceless.

It Runs in the Family

So this morning I get up to clean the bird cage and vacuum up the dining and kitchen area. I pull out the vacuum cleaner to find it standing lopsided and unusable! Oy! What is one to do! I then remembered the drama queen telling me that the vacuum cleaner hit her on the head on Friday night when she was vacuuming the stairs, but all seemed OK and she had stated she'd put it away, so I thought all was well….I was wrong!

The Smart One and I spent the next 15 minutes trying to figure out what was wrong with it. We thought we were close, but taking it apart was something I wasn't sure we could accomplish, so we put it back into the closet to wait for dad to come home and fix. Meantime, the bird cage still needed some cleaning, so B-Boo had grabbed a broom and was starting on the floor. We got the bottom of the cage clean and refilled with clean bedding and headed to put the cage back together. Now, the man and I have done this several times so should have a routine, right? Wrong! He promptly picked it up and the drawer went sliding down and bedding poured out over B-Boo's pile of mess. Oy! So, she started cleaning the bigger mess up while we refilled the bottom of the cage and tried again!

We've kind of had one of those weeks, you know? Hot chocolate was spilled earlier all over the fridge, B-Boo and the kitchen floor…and the mop broke. Great!

Laundry soap lands on the floor unnoticed and spills all under the washing machine…great. Dirty laundry, no laundry soap…and a big mess on the floor. Great!

Vacuum cleaner breaks and stuff gets spilled all over the floor. Great!

Don't you just love it when that happens? At any rate, Dad came home and we spent a good 30 minutes taking the Dyson apart and fixing it and putting it back together correctly. I have to say, that's one thing I love about my Dyson…you can take it apart and put it back together without having to call a specialist to take care of it for you!

We were finally done with the chores and headed out to run some errands. Because it is President's Day, we thought the Smart One had no karate tonight. We were wrong. As we rushed back home to get him ready, Dad prepared him an egg sandwich. Turns out the bread had molded. (He follows a gluten free diet, so his fresh bread molds more easily than store bought bread.) Anywho…when Dad turned to take the bread off it went flying onto the floor. He didn't look thrilled, but I had to laugh and explain to him that we'd been dumping things on the floor all day!

Like I said, it runs in the family!

Whew! What a week!

It's been a crazy week, that's for sure! I'd say it really started to take a turn by Thursday morning. Thursday started off with B-Boo's school being in complete lock down. There were police cars and FBI everywhere. The nice FBI man with the sharpshooter explained to me that I shouldn't worry, the students were safe, they were just being cautious because the man was in the neighborhood. Ok, well that made me feel much safer, especially given the fact that I live in the neighborhood! That prompted an immediate phone call to my husband to lock the doors as there was a gunman on the loose in our neighborhood. I then quickly drove home with the youngest in the van with me. We made it safely home, ran inside and turned on the news. NOTHING.

By this time, B-Boo was texting me to let me know that a teacher had been shot in the hand and that were in lock down and it wasn't a drill. (I think I knew that from the amount of police outside the school). She stayed in touch while we got nothing on the news. Finally, she said that they were out of lock down and allowed to go to their classes. And the culprit? Well, apparently it was an older man shooting pigeons in his yard with a pellet gun! A neighbor had called 911 to report someone shooting and it went downhill from there! There wasn't a teacher shot, but she had hurt her hand and needed stitches from an unrelated incident.

Shortly after we found out B-Boo was safe, I received a phone call from the vet. Joey, our little pup that has been losing his hair was determined to have ringworm. He has no lesions, but the culture came back positive. The vet determined it is a mild case, but we still have to bathe him in special shampoo and disinfect everything. Oh hurray. So, off to the vet first thing on Friday morning we were to go.

Meanwhile, that evening B-Boo had an hair appointment with the fabulous cut and color man for her birthday gift. By the time we got home, I was pooped and headed straight to bed…well, after helping B-Boo finish her homework anyway.

Friday was B-Boo's 14th Birthday! I can't believe she's 14! I remember when she was born. Boy, these kids grow up so fast, don't they? Anyway, after taking her to school, I got the kids ready for their day…by helping me take the dogs to the vet. Dr. Ceballos gave Joey a good lookover, gave them their shots, handed us the shampoo and away we went. After I dropped the kids off I went to get the food for the slumber party that night…10 teenage girls..woo hoo!

I made it back from everything just in time to grab a quick bite and head out to pick up B-Boo! We had planned a picture scavenger hunt at the mall for a couple of hours after school. That's when we discovered B-Boo's camera was broken! Oh man! We headed out early to grab some of her friends, then ran by Costco to see if we could replace the camera.  No such luck, but hey, we tried. Luckily, one of her friends had grabbed their camera, so we were able to do the scavenger hunt.

IMG_2403

S for Sunglasses

We headed home to some amazing pasta and Alfredo sauce that dear hubby had made, as well as lasagna, Caesar salad, and a chocolate fountain. YUM!

After gifts and card games, we grabbed the crew and headed out to the park for a late night game of flashlight tag! Ok, it took us three parks before we could find a dark enough place, but it was fun! Well, it was cold…but it was fun! Hubby and I supervised the madness in the middle of the night while they ran around. I know some people would think we were nuts, but you know…I think God gave us so many children so that we can remember moments like this! I pray that my children will remember them, too! We headed home about midnight, went through the pictures from the scavenger hunt, passed out the fuzzy posters for the girls to color and then headed to bed!

Saturday morning I got up and made 3 batches of pancakes while the girls helped cook them and make sausage to go with it. Also made some great gluten free blueberry muffins for Jonathan!

We knew we had to get the garage cleaned so that we could move the furniture into the garage and other living room. The carpet cleaning guy is arriving bright and early Monday morning to get rid of those ringworm spores! Anyway, B-Boo's remaining friends came out and joined us in the garage and we kicked it out in no time at all! It didn't even feel like work!

Today we finally finished moving all the furniture and vacuuming the entire house! Whew! I can finally go to bed and spend some quality time with my computer!

You know, it was a crazy week, but I learned a few things, too!

One: I have a pretty cool husband! That man will do just about anything to make his family happy, even if it includes baking the birthday girl dinner, moving furniture so we can clean up after the dogs, and going to the park with 14 teenagers to play flashlight tag in the middle of the night! Really, I couldn't ask for much more than that!

Two: I have a pretty good life! I don't have fancy furniture or a fancy house, but I do have plenty of room to run around and I don't have to worry about anything being broken. I have a warm, inviting home that my children know their friends are welcome in anytime they ask.

Three: My children have some pretty great friends! While at the mall, a couple of my older sons friends saw me…and instead of pretending they didn't see me, they came over gave me a hug.  B-Boo's friends weren't asked to help clean out the garage; they just saw the need and volunteered.

And four…well, I'm not sure what more I could add! Great home, great hubby, great kids…what more could I ask for?

The things we do in the name of friendship!

I've been blessed with some great friends in life. There are four in my life right now that have been with me through thick and thin; literally! When God blesses you with friends like these, somehow life becomes so much more easy to get through. Other times we're just blessed with the craziness and laughter of what is. Monday evening was one of those times.

One of my dear friends used to live here, but she moved away a couple of years ago. We still get to see each other as she comes back a couple of times each year. They (meaning her and her hubs) own a houseboat and keep it out at the lake. It's Superbowl time, which means her husband will be having his yearly Super Bowl weekend with his friends out at the boat. Monday evening she called and asked if I'd head out to the boat with her to put some type of shine on the floor. This really meant that she was going to be mopping and putting in hard labor. Of course, she just wanted company, but honest, I had every intention of working by her side.

Anyway, we headed out to the lake, which is a about a 45 minute drive, laughing and talking all the while. We finally get the the lake and hop out of the truck. It's about 8:30 pm by now and it's not real warm. We only had sweatshirts on, so, well, it was a bit chilly. Anyway, we grab the mops, drinks, and buckets and look for a cart to take the stuff down to the boat. She finds a cart, we load it up and away we go!

There isn't a soul in site as we laugh our way down. We finally get there and attempt to get in. No such luck; the key that her husband gave her before he left town won't even fit in the hole! We stood there trying, in the dark, for a few moments with no such luck, so she calls her husband. He tells her where to find a flashlight (think very small, batteries almost completely dead, minimal yellow lighted flashlight!). While I shine the dead flashlight, the conversation goes something like this:

Her: "The key doesn't work."
Him: "I know it works, I just used it.""
Her: "I doesn't fit."
Him: "Turn it over and it will work. It's the right key."

(I'm thinking at this point that really, we are not idiots, we know how to use a key, but hey, ok!"

Him: "Are you using the silver, square key?"
Her: "There is no silver square key, it's a silver triangle key."
Him: "No, it's a silver square key."
Her: "The only square key is the main, gold gate key that we just used to get in."
Him: "You need to push it in."
Her: "The key won't go in! It's a house key, it's too big. It will not even go in!"

(Being the great friend that I am, I wait silently through this conversation. OK, well I tried, but it was just so comical! I mean, we're freezing, we've tried all four keys on the key ring several times, we KNOW it's not going to work, but he's insisting we're just doing it wrong. Humor is definitely needed at this time!")

So the conversation continues like this for a bit longer until dear hubby finally realizes that we are not going to get in the door with the key. So what's a guy to do? He thinks we should try using it on the back door! Ok….so we head to the back door with the minimal flashlight and proceed to try and use the magically wrong key on the wrong door. Nope…doesn't work there either.

Her dear husband comes up with a great idea at this point. Just break in! Now, please understand, he's an ex-cop, they've already had a break-in so he's put screws in all the windows so that no one can break in again, but ok…we'll try! He patiently waits on the phone as we go from window to window trying to slide them open even though they are locked and have screws preventing them from budging. Then we try the credit card thing…nope, it's doesn't work either. By now, I'm freezing, dying of laughter, and generally having another great moment with my friend.

After about an hour of this, we finally convince him that we are not getting into the houseboat to mop that floor after all. He's decided to call security by now to have them get the spare key to the boat, so we head back up the long trek to the truck to wait for security. We're laughing at the silliness of this whole thing as we're walking back across the pier when a giant fish jumps out of the lake and attempts to eat me! I jump into said friend while she laughs at me. We laugh that this would make a great blog…us landing in a cold lake in the middle of the night as a fish attempts to eat me all because we couldn't break into a houseboat because we don't know how to use a key properly!

We make it back up to the truck, have a few more laughs and climb in to wait for the security guard that her husband has contacted. About that time, we notice the security truck drive down to the dock, so we drive down to meet him thinking he may be looking for us. I mean, why else would he be there except to rescue us, right? I'm sure he had nothing better to do!

So we drive up and roll down the window and you can tell by the look on his face that he was NOT enjoying his job at the moment! (He's on the phone with her husband trying to explain that someone else has to come down to open the guard office to look for the key and he has to go on his rounds.) Then her husband hangs up and calls her while the guard stands there ever so patiently smoking his cigar.

The other guard shows up so they go off to have a private chat about what we can only imagine is how much they really want to spend their night searching for a key for the two silly women in the truck who only want to mop a floor. The second guard comes over to the truck to ask what the key looks like while the other guard goes off to make his rounds. My friend offers to go with him to find it, but we're not allowed, so she describes the key and he goes off to find it. (We see two other guards join the first two at the guard office and have a chat about which we are just so sure having nothing to do with the two of us sitting in the van or the husband that won't leave them alone!

A bit later the first guard comes back to the truck, still working on that cigar, and asks us to go down with him to find the key because they can't find it. Really, it is rather funny, don't you think? So we walk down the pier making sure not to be attacked by any giant fish on the way. The other guard is sitting there with the drawer open going through all of the keys. Nope, not that one. No, that isn't it. This goes on as he makes it through several keys. My friend patiently tells him once again that it is a key on a black tie thing. He shows her the only key like that with the name of Kevin so and so. Hmmm…didn't her husband say that it was Kevin who had the key last? But no, their key seems to be missing and if this Kevin had it then he probably locked it away in his toolbox and no one has the key except for him. All this to say, we were out of luck! By now it was almost ten at night and it seemed that those floors were not going to get mopped after all! But we tried, we really did!

We laughed our way back up to the truck once again and headed for home, all the while laughing about the things we do in the name of friendship!

And the end of the story? Turns out the security guard did have the key after all and we really did have the wrong key. I'd be willing to bet it was the key with Kevin's name on it!