Mama Vivas - It's a Vivas Thing!

Feb 23 2009

Funny Things Kids Say

When told that Mom was done driving everyone around, the drama queen, 8 years old said,

"So mom, if I want to go anywhere tomorrow, I have to walk or figure it out, right?"

We were watching a movie the other night that had Lindsey Lohan in it. When this same child saw her, she remarked,

"They need to feed her in real life. She's too skinny!"

One day when the Talented One was about 4 years old we were at my oldest son's baseball game. We were all sitting on the bleachers, which were full that day. Grandpa was sitting on the lower rung and our son was sitting on one higher up. He stood up and proclaimed to the whole world that day,

"Grandpa! Did you know you have a hole on your head?!"

Poor Grandpa was so embarrassed! Now the whole world knew he had a bald spot!

Another time this same son was looking at his grandmother's hand and asked her,
"Grandma, how come you have all those cracks in your hand?"
Poor Grandma had to explain that they were wrinkles.

And then there's our youngest son. When he was about eight years old, he started growing his hair out longer. Before then, he'd always worn it very short. A friend (bald) remarked to him one day,
"Boy, you need a haircut!"
To which he quickly replied,
"Well, at least I have hair."
It was definitely a spewing moment!

But the one that takes the cake for the week had us in stitches tonight. Seriously, I had tears pouring down my cheeks it was so funny! Our two youngest have been having a week of not being very nice to each other. After the final straw tonight, hubby marched them up to our room for a good shaking the fear into them! They are both standing there with tears streaming down their faces as hubby explains to them the need to be kind and loving towards each other. I add in the "treat others as you want to be treated" part, etc, etc.

And then it happened. The Drama Queen just couldn't take it anymore and wails out loudly and with as much drama as she can muster,

"I try to be nice! I'm trying really hard! I can't help it if God made me this way!"

Ok, she was so earnest….and we tried to take her serious, honest we did. But when we looked at The Smart One's face and saw him trying really hard not to laugh as tears were streaming down his face, we just lost it. I mean, I tried biting my lip. I tried turning my face. I did, honest. But….it just bubbled out! We were downright laughing out loud, the three of us, as my poor Drama Queen just stood there wailing. Which made us feel even worse….and continued the drama….until she at least smiled through her tears.

After things were all settled, hubby and I got a moment to ourselves…and just started giggling again. We couldn't help it! The mental picture will be with us for years to come!

Feb 23 2009

Dinner Conversation Anyone?

You know, lately our meals at the table had become almost non-existent. It seems the older kids would come in from school, grab a snack (or a plate of food) and head to their rooms. I make *dinner* early a lot of days because that is when they are most hungry and it just makes sense to have a meal ready in the early afternoon rather than later when they've already scarfed down a plate of food only an hour or two before.

So anyway, in our larger family activities are constant and it seemed like family meals were becoming a thing of the past. And then….we got our carpets cleaned. I planted my feet firmly and said, "No more food in your rooms, in the living room or anywhere but the kitchen!" That gives them two options; kitchen table or kitchen counter/bar.

At first they fought it, but I think they are coming around. I'm enjoying a talkative breakfast with my two younger kids before starting on their home school for the day.

When the two older ones get home, I actually get to talk to them about how their day went…and they pay attention because they're stuck there if they want to eat!

Meals around the table are becoming the norm again…and personally, I think they like it. The conversation alone is something worth sitting there for! They go something like this:

"So how were swim lessons today?"

"It was fun!"

"So, was the chicken, star, rocket really as hard as it looked?"

"I kept mixing the chicken and the star wrong."

"What is the chicken, star, rocket?"

"It's the breast stroke."

"Well, when I took lessons it was monkey, banana, tree!"

"What about the frog thing?"

"Oh, the dolphin was hard."

"You mean the porpoise?"

"What's with all the animals anyway?"

And that's just a snippet of one conversation! Usually there are at least two conversations going on at once and they can get quite confusing, especially if you're part of one and then forget who you are talking to! All of a sudden the table is roaring with laughter because someone will say something that makes absolutely no sense because they've combined the conversations! You've got to be able to keep up at our table!

We're having fun again. I hope they'll remember our laughter around the table when they get older. It's really these moments that are priceless.

Feb 18 2009

Can I have a fire with my bath?

In our previous home, I had a large bathtub (not a jacuzzi, just a rounded tub) that I used to love taking baths in. I'd head into the bathroom complete with bubble bath, candles and a good book. There's just nothing like a good bubble bath to end a long, drawn out day!

When B-Boo was little, she'd toddle into the bathroom and beg to join in. I knew if I wanted a non-toddler bath, I'd better wait until she was in bed for the night! However, sometimes I'd start the bath and then smile to myself as I waited for those small footsteps to come running. Then I'd hear her sweet little voice ask,

"Mommy, can I take a bath with the fire, too?"

We'd spend the next hour playing with bubbles and giggling in the soft glow of the candles as we grew beards and funny hair.

She's grown quite a bit since then and is way too old to take a bath with her mom, but she'll smile as if she knows a secret when I ask her if she wants a fire with her bath. Then she'll settle in for a bit with a good book.

Feb 16 2009

It Runs in the Family

So this morning I get up to clean the bird cage and vacuum up the dining and kitchen area. I pull out the vacuum cleaner to find it standing lopsided and unusable! Oy! What is one to do! I then remembered the drama queen telling me that the vacuum cleaner hit her on the head on Friday night when she was vacuuming the stairs, but all seemed OK and she had stated she'd put it away, so I thought all was well….I was wrong!

The Smart One and I spent the next 15 minutes trying to figure out what was wrong with it. We thought we were close, but taking it apart was something I wasn't sure we could accomplish, so we put it back into the closet to wait for dad to come home and fix. Meantime, the bird cage still needed some cleaning, so B-Boo had grabbed a broom and was starting on the floor. We got the bottom of the cage clean and refilled with clean bedding and headed to put the cage back together. Now, the man and I have done this several times so should have a routine, right? Wrong! He promptly picked it up and the drawer went sliding down and bedding poured out over B-Boo's pile of mess. Oy! So, she started cleaning the bigger mess up while we refilled the bottom of the cage and tried again!

We've kind of had one of those weeks, you know? Hot chocolate was spilled earlier all over the fridge, B-Boo and the kitchen floor…and the mop broke. Great!

Laundry soap lands on the floor unnoticed and spills all under the washing machine…great. Dirty laundry, no laundry soap…and a big mess on the floor. Great!

Vacuum cleaner breaks and stuff gets spilled all over the floor. Great!

Don't you just love it when that happens? At any rate, Dad came home and we spent a good 30 minutes taking the Dyson apart and fixing it and putting it back together correctly. I have to say, that's one thing I love about my Dyson…you can take it apart and put it back together without having to call a specialist to take care of it for you!

We were finally done with the chores and headed out to run some errands. Because it is President's Day, we thought the Smart One had no karate tonight. We were wrong. As we rushed back home to get him ready, Dad prepared him an egg sandwich. Turns out the bread had molded. (He follows a gluten free diet, so his fresh bread molds more easily than store bought bread.) Anywho…when Dad turned to take the bread off it went flying onto the floor. He didn't look thrilled, but I had to laugh and explain to him that we'd been dumping things on the floor all day!

Like I said, it runs in the family!

Feb 13 2009

A Mother’s Instinct

Sometimes it seems hard to tell the difference between a Mother's Instinct and over worrying. Where do we draw the line? How do we know when we're not just being over protective and making a mountain out of a molehill? How do we know how long to search for the answer we know in our gut is out there somewhere? It's hard!

I can think of some specific instances in my children's lives when I have had to decide to stop searching for nothing or let others think I was crazy and continue in my search for whatever the answer was!

The first instance was with my youngest son. By the time he was one, he had started losing weight and gone into failure to thrive. He had no interest in eating real food. He threw up a lot. He suffered from constipation and terrible tummy aches. He had a serious lack of bladder control. He suffered from the worst type of *growing pains* that I had ever seen; to the point of nearly crippling him at times. We saw specialist after specialist year after year. Finally, when he was five, he was released from his *failure to thrive* diagnosis. Still, he continued to suffer and we continued to take him to these specialists. I'll never forget our pediatrician saying to me one day, "He's fine. There is nothing wrong with him. It's just a case of mom worrying too much."

Finally, we just kind of gave up taking him to doctors and tried to figure it out on our own instead. Last winter/spring, he started taking a serious turn for the worst again. I started taking him to different doctors again, all to no avail. He started having several instances of barely being able to walk, stomach pains, severe constipation and overall weakness and fatigue. The pain in his legs, heels, feet, arms and legs was almost crippling. One night I took him to the ER when we just could not watch him suffer anymore. I begged the doctor to figure out what was wrong with him once and for all. I'll never forget his reply. He looked me straight in the eye and said to me,

"If you really feel there is something wrong with him, take him to Loma Linda. If he was my child, I would take him to Loma Linda. They will figure it out."

I called Loma Linda Medical University the next morning and got him an appointment right away. They had suggested that he see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist there. I had written up three long pages explaining all of my son's past medical history. She read every page, went over them with me and talked to my son like he was a real person. It took her two days to figure out what was immediately wrong with him and a few more weeks for the rest of the test results to come in! It turned out that my son was suffering from food allergies and a gluten intolerance. Now that he is free of these foods, he is completely pain free! It took ten years, but it was worth it!

The next instance was with my youngest daughter, the drama queen.

She was born with a terrible looking *rash* that was later determined to be eczema. She was a great baby, but she didn't sleep well, suffered from what I call her *non-nursing* spells, and generally only wanted to be held by certain members of the immediate family. Again, I took her in over and over to the pediatrician, all the while being told it was just eczema or that she had a tummy virus. Finally, when she was five months old, a friend recognized that she had food allergies. I'd never really heard of them, but at last I had some hope! I followed his advice and took dairy out of my diet and noticed an improvement right away! It was short lived, but at least we were on the right track! I convinced our pediatrician to send her to an allergist despite his wanting her to see a dermatologist instead. It turned out that she had one of the worst cases of food allergies the allergist had ever seen! With much perseverance over the past eight years we have managed to keep her food allergies under control and her skin looking beautiful!

The next two instances happened with my older daughter. The first started when she was about six years old. She'd been home schooled for two years and was doing great in math, but she struggled with reading. My gut told me there was more to her struggles, but when I casually mentioned my concerns to friends and relatives, I was told she was probably just a little bit of a late learner. By the time she was eight, learning to read had become a battle she was quickly losing. I had taken her to different eye doctors who said her eyes were fine. I felt as if no one was listening to me except for my husband. Finally, I happened upon a conversation one day where an acquaintance was telling a friend of mine about her daughter's new optometrist. After listening for a few minutes, I explained a little about my daughter's reading struggles. She suggested I take her to this optometrist.

The day of the appointment I had a conversation with my dad. The appointment wasn't cheap and he knew that. He felt like it was a waste of time to take her to another doctor and was just trying to prepare me that maybe she was just a little slow when it came to reading. I took her anyway. After two long hours of testing, it was determined that she had a list of visual problems: visual perception problems, sequencing, her right eye was stronger than the left and basically shut it down, etc. I'll never forget going home that day. I was relieved that we were finally on the path to helping her, but shocked at how bad it seemed. My father told me that day that he was glad that I had not listened to him. I was, too! After much Vision Therapy it was also determined that she had dyslexia. She's 14 now and still struggles, but we face it head on together and make the best of it!

The most recent incident happened to this same daughter. God must most definitely have a plan for this child, because He has taught her to persevere even when the going gets tough! Almost two years ago, she started suffering from bouts of sharp pain. We thought that she was getting ready for puberty, so just kind of helped her to deal with it. But by the end of that summer, she'd been to the emergency room twice and did not seem to be getting any better. I decided to take her into my ob/gyn doctor (who'd delivered her!) and see if there was anything we should be concerned about. It was determined that she had a mass (which was later found to be a polyp) in her uterus. She was scheduled to have surgery to remove it. About six months after the surgery, she started to have problems again. This went on for the next few months with no relief from medications. She had her second surgery eight months after the first. By now she'd had a miserable summer and was just wanting to have a normal life free of pain suffering. Unfortunately, the second surgery gave her no relief. At this point, we were referred to a hematologist, a gastroenterologist, an endocrinologist, and finally a pediatric gynecologist. By now she was missing weeks of school and getting worse instead of better. Still suffering, we took her to see a specialist in Los Angeles. Nothing, she just blew us off. Night after night, day after day we prayed over her. I made phone call after phone call trying to get anyone to listen to me and possibly offer a solution for her pain. Finally, after weeks had turned into months, a pediatric gynecologist agreed to see her. The only problem was that she was located 1400 miles away! I had no idea how we were going to get there, where we were going to stay, or what we were going to do. But I knew that my gut was telling me that this is where we needed to be! I knew that if God wanted us there, He was going to get us there! At this point, one of my family members asked me,

"Just how far are you going to go? When when are you going to stop?"

I could only reply with my heart. "I will take her wherever I need to take her, however far I need to take her, until someone can help her."

Within 24 hours, God had provided flight tickets, a place to stay for two weeks, and the money needed for the trip and doctor. The surgery was successful. She was finally diagnosed with endometriosis. After the diagnoses and surgery, a specialist in our hometown agreed to take her on. She has spent the past three months getting back to leading the life of a normal teenager. She smiles, she's happy.

And me? I get to type this blog..ha ha. Ok, but seriously, I believe God has given mothers an *instinct* if you will, to know when we are to stop, and to know when we are to persevere. Sometimes we may start to question ourselves, but if we look deep down and ask Him to show us the way, He will!

My son was talking to me today about the faith of the mustard seed. He wants that kind of faith, the kind that moves mountains. I'm not there yet, but motherhood sure is bringing me closer to that tiny little seed!

B-Boo and The Man

Drama Queen (& friend)