The Struggle…

I was talking to a friend today as he shared about a friend of his getting a divorce. Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, I said to him, “Yeah, you may have to love them, but there will be plenty of times where you won’t like them.” (Meaning our spouses)…to which he started laughing and confirmed rather quickly, “You got that right!” I then was able to add, “That’s where commitment comes in.” But it was pretty funny.

We went on to speak a little bit more about society’s lack of commitment and understanding of what love is today.

In light of an earlier conversation with my husband, my brain has once again started the pondering process that just-won’t-let-me-sleep.

And what is it you say?

LOVE

Why is it we can so easily hurt those we claim to love the most? Is it because we think they will always be there for us? That they will never ever leave us?

I mean, something has to be said for the confidence we feel in knowing that we can always depend on the love we receive, right? Or is it something more?

Is it commitment?

The commitment of a parent to a child?

The commitment of a husband to a wife?

A relationship, be it friend or lover?

I’m an empathizer. I used to think I was a sympathizer, but I realize more and more that when those I love hurt, I just feel it deep down. And it hurts. I should probably work on that. 🙂

I’ve had some dear, sweet friends suffer some great losses lately. And it just makes me sad. But, at the same time, I am amazed at the love and commitment that they have shown to their loved ones. Decades of loving and caring and being there thru the good and the bad. Wow.

I can only hope that our marriage and parenting can be that kind of example to others.

So many couples today have no grasp of what real love is. They want to test it out and if it doesn’t work, well then, that’s ok and they move on to the next one.

I think the media has given us a wrong idea of what love really is. Don’t get me wrong…there is nothing better than a great romance movie! But it honestly just isn’t that easy. It’s not a fairy tale. It takes hard work, and perseverance and patience, and some days, reminding ourselves of what we fell in love with to begin with…and most importantly…

…Reminding ourselves of why our love is always worth fighting for!

And parenthood? So many parents have no grasp of what it really means to love and be committed to their children. Unfortunately, I see that way more often than I ever thought possible. It just breaks my heart.

As an adoptive parent, I’m learning that no matter how much love I have to give, it just might never be enough to break thru the damage that has been done. And that’s a hard pill to swallow. But as I sat with my sweet friend this evening, we had a little epiphany…

Maybe the reason it’s so hard, is because my daughter knows deep down how much I love her. Maybe she acts this way because she knows how committed I am to her since we persevered for years in order to be able to finally adopt her and that no matter what, I’m not about to stop loving her. For you see, as parents, we are not going anywhere.

Maybe, maybe not. I just don’t know. But I’ll keep trying. And I’ll keep loving.

So, here I am, midnight…and it’s here.

This is me…just being real.