I just spent the longest eight hours of my life attending a mandatory orientation in order to register the Talented One for his classes at the university. I think perhaps, the university needs some tips on what orientation should entail.
Not to mention the parents who are obviously having a hard time letting go.
To the university,
Perhaps a different orientation should be held for parents who aren’t sure if they want their children to go to college or not. You could spend hours counseling them about *helicopter* parenting, how to raise their children so that they don’t become wild when they go off to college, how they are not allowed to go to class with their college students and how they aren’t allowed to live in the dorms with them.
This would be greatly appreciated by those of us who just want to register our students for their classes and go home. We understand that we’ve raised our children up to become fine, young adults and know they will be able to find their way around the campus on their own. We understand that our children don’t want us going to class with them or telling them what clubs/organizations they need to be a part of. We are confident that if they want us to know, they will share it with us themselves. We are also confident that they will continue to make good choices and no longer need a babysitter; and that if they do make a wrong choice, they will learn from their mistakes without us having to hold their hands or talking to their teachers for them.
To future parents of college freshman,
When you attend orientation, please be mindful of the fact that not every parent in the room is having a hard time letting go of their young adult. Also, please note the following:
No, the university does not offer support classes for parents who are having a hard time letting go. You need to get a grip and realize that it is time to cut those strings. Your student will greatly appreciate it.
No, the university does not offer free babysitting services for your student.
No, the university does not offer services to escort your student home after they’ve made a bad decision to drink at a party. It is a *dry* university. This means that they do not allow alcohol on campus. If you’re student happens to go to a party off campus and drink, the university is not responsible for bringing them safely home. If you have doubts as to what your student will be doing while attending, please discuss this with them before they leave your nest.
No, you may not live with your student in the dorm.
No, you may not attend class with them.
No, you will not be allowed to speak to their teachers.
Yes, you can send them care packages. (especially ones with cookies.)
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This information was provided free of charge. Thank you, and have a nice orientation…er…day.
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