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It’s important enough…

Today was a good day.

Over 800 students and staff, on a field, dancing their hearts out for National School Choice week.

I don’t often talk about my work life; I kind of like to keep it somewhat private, but today was a good day. Today I was reminded about what happens when you dare to dream. About perseverance and hard work, about dedication and not giving up…and most importantly, about making a difference in the 800+ lives of those around us every day, and  even more, the difference they make in us.

Let’s take a walk down memory lane.

15 years ago, I met an amazing woman. And we become the closest of friends; I cannot imagine what my life would be like without her. We have been thru everything and back together. And so, I remember when she talked about teaching, I suggested that she might like a new charter school that the Talented One had attended. At the time, my husband and I had decided to homeschool again, but it seemed a good fit for her.

A few years down the road, I was hired to be her teaching assistant. What a year that was! One of the best! We’d often have conversations of, “If I was the Director and you were the Manager, just think what we could do…”

But as the year ended, God had other plans in store for me and so I went back to being a full-time mom as we worked our way thru family issues and foster care.

And yet, a couple of years later, she did indeed, become the director. And a few months later, she found herself in need of a manager.

Yeah…I was NOT about to go down that road, despite our earlier dreams.

And yet…..that’s exactly where I found myself.

That was five years ago. And that first year was so very hard. It often felt like it was the two  of us against the world. We poured our hearts and souls into this dream of hers; this dream of mine. And before we knew it, we had taken a school that was separated into three, worn down, falling apart campuses, and brought them together into one beautiful campus.

There have been plenty of times where I have been exhausted; physically, emotionally, spiritually…from the amount of blood-sweat-tears that I, we, have poured into this place. There have been plenty of times when we have felt unappreciated, undervalued, and overwhelmed with what it takes to make it successful.

There have been a whole lot of excuses that we could come up with convincing ourselves not to do it anymore.

But it was, is, and continues to be, so very important to us. So we have found, and will continue to find our way.

I was reminded of something from a dear coworker today. She mentioned a saying that she loves, post65She talked of how what we do is so important because we’re a family and how glad she is to be part of our family.

It reminded me of a very sweet moment….one I treasure.

A little over three years ago, my amazing friend and I took a private walk around “our” new campus. We were just about to open the doors; and as we walked about, we spoke about the dream we had back then, “If I were the Director and you were the Manager…think what we could do…”

Yeah…today was a good day.

 

She’s getting there…

I don’t often write about the foster/adoption of our younger two. Trust me…there is soooo much I could share, but at the same time, it is difficult.

However, we seem to have hit a milestone today.

The Princess has some pretty big obstacles to overcome. Coming from a neglected lifestyle, she constantly strives for attention; any attention she can get. It is difficult to watch because she just wants someone to pay attention to her. She struggles with it in a family of ten. She struggles with it at school. It’s like…finally she can say, “Hey, look at me….pay attention to me” and she doesn’t know how to turn it off.

We’re working on it.

But how do you convince a child that she is loved and wanted when there are days when you absolutely just need a five minute break?

I am an early riser. My Sunday mornings are my Sunday mornings. That sounds selfish, I know. But, I get up early, have my coffee, read my Bible and just try to get a grip on myself as I finish out one week and get ready for the next. It is the one time a week where I can just have…me, all to myself, no interruptions, just a few blessed moments of peace and quiet. My crazy job and my crazier family dictate that I NEED to have one morning a week to just have a few moments of uninterrupted quiet!

The Princess is also an early riser. And when she wakes up, there is that built in, “I can’t be alone-I don’t know what to do with myself, so let me wake up everyone in the household, even though they’ll get mad at me because they’re trying to sleep in on the one day a week they can, but I need to have someone pay attention to me syndrome.”

And so, she’s gotten into the habit of  waiting by my bedroom door until she hears me stir. Or, she’ll stand at my bedroom door staring at me until she wakes me up. I’ll admit, there are some mornings when I am afraid to breathe because I am not even out of bed yet and am about to be bombarded. Selfish, I know.

But there is that split second of me moving in my bed and she bounces in with a loud and lively, “Thank God your up now pay attention to me” attitude. Um….ok.

I’ve tried asking for just five minutes.

I’ve tried to be patient and understanding. I’ve tried letting her come down stairs with me, her with her Bible and me with mine and spending some quality time with her without her waking up the entire household.

I’ve tried and tried and tried.

I finally gave her a rule….On Sunday mornings if you wake up, you have to stay in your room until 7:30 am. Read a book, color, play a game, draw, whatever you want…but stay in your room and enjoy that time to yourself.

I know, I know…it sounds mean.

On the other hand….she’s just not quiet. And trust me, it is worse when others don’t want to be woken up and she’ll have to suffer the wrath of tired, grouchy, siblings….

And we’re talking 7:30 am on a Sunday morning, people!

But this morning…..

As I passed by her room, she was sprawled out on her bed, completely sound asleep. She didn’t even move when I shut her door.

I cannot begin to tell you the relief that I felt when I saw that.

And NOT because it meant I might have a few moments of peace and quiet.

I felt relief because FINALLY she is sleeping. Something in that little body is allowing her to just relax and sleep.

Because the bigger issue is that sleep has not come easy for her.

It took forever for the nightmares to go away.

It took forever for her to just sleep through the night.

It is now 8:13 am….and I’m about to go check on her.

I haven’t heard a sound. The door hasn’t opened and she’s not moving upstairs.

I hope she’s not sick.

 

Edited to add:

She wasn’t sick….and she slept until 8:47 am.

And now…she won’t stop talking. ha ha ha

 

 

 

 

It’s Different Now

Lately, I've had more and more conversations with women whose husbands haven't been able to find a job; or work. We've come to the conclusion it is easier for a woman to find work in these economic times than a man. And so, the roles are being reversed.

I know my husband can feel discouraged; feeling like no one wants him. Our roles are completely reversed. I've been reminded what it is like to work outside of the home and try to continue balancing family. I have to remember that they all need my attention when they get home no matter how exhausted I am. And I have to remember to support and love him and not expect too much from him when I get home.

Because I've been in his shoes for 15 years! And he's been in mine. On the days when I come home absolutely exhausted and just want to crawl in bed and I KNOW he's been running kids around, trying to look for a job, trying to do the side jobs that he has and keep the house decent and make sure we're all happy, and feed us and help with homework…

I remember getting upset with him because he was gone all day and had no idea what it was like at home; and I just needed a little of him…..ouch.

He's patient when my phone starts ringing at 5:30 am and patient when I come home and work after work!

I've had to learn to let go of the way I do things; because he's home running the ship now, not me. And yes, his ways are a bit different than mine. Some definitely better, some not so much, but that's ok.

I miss being home with my family. I miss the extra time with my kids. I miss homeschooling. I miss just hanging and having conversations.

I miss my hubby walking through the door after a long day at work and planting a kiss on me.

Do I always remember to plant a kiss on him?

Yes, things are definately different now. I do enjoy my job and the challenges it brings. And I cannot express how blessed I am that my family supports me through it all.

I love to come home to one of them helping a younger one with homework.

I love to come home to music playing and conversations in the kitchen.

And hearing about their day….

It's definately different; but it's an ok different.

Knights and Princesses

Last night I was out with one of my sons. He volunteered to come along with me to get some soup since I'd been feeling under the weather. As we walked through the store, he offered to carry my groceries. Then he did the self-checkout for me and carried the groceries out to the car. When it came time to open the car, he offered to take the keys, opened the door, waited for me to get in, handed me the keys and shut the door.

It's so nice to have my young knight around.

Here's the thing; too often today we are not teaching our young men how to be gentlemen. Even more so; we don't always teach our young ladies how to be, well, ladies.

I've had a few conversations with different people about this lately. It just keeps coming up; don't know why, but enough that I thought I'd write about my thoughts on it. So, let's start with my boys…no, the girls…it's hard to decide.

My girls:

I want my girls to want to be treated like a lady. Today's world is so much about empowering women. Women can do it all. Women are just as strong as men. Women don't need a man to take care of them.

And heaven forbid, we should actually teach our daughters how to cook and clean and take care of babies; because then we live in the dark ages and we are forcing our daughters to be less.

Really?

God created women with the gift of child bearing. What a gift! To be able to have that life inside of you; knowing only you have the ability to bond in that special way with this child during those precious months. Women have the ability to see a child and naturally want to take care of them; whether it is their own child or some one elses. That's how we are created! I'm proud to have been able to stay home and take care of my family for years. I love that I got to spend that time with them. I love those precious moments.

I've had other women tell me over the years:

"It's your time!" (I have plenty of time when my children are grown and gone.)

"You should be in school." (I'd rather be home and give my children a chance to go to school)

"It's not your job to be home; you should have a career." (I don't look at it as a job; I know it's an honor.)

"How can you stand being with your kids all day? I can't wait until mine are back in school again." (Wow!)

"Are you going to let your girls go to college and have a career?" (Really?)

Every one of these questions has been asked by a woman. Why is it ok for a women today to choose a career, but not ok for them to choose to stay home and take care of their family?

I've actually seen women get MAD at a man for opening a door for them because they can "do it themselves."

My boys:

They are our natural protectors. That's they way they were created. I'll never forget when my children were younger, there was a boy in my daughter's group at church choir that kept picking on her. Each week this little boy would poke her in the back with a pencil. Fed up, she came home and burst into tears one day. The very next Sunday, all three of her brothers lined up outside the classroom door, prepared to have a word with this young man. No words needed; the boy never picked on her again.

Someone gives mom a hard time; my boys don't hesistate to line up on either side of me, arms folded across their chest, ready to take on whoever it is that is messing with me.

So let me tell you about my family and the way we work!

My boys know how to cook, wash dishes, do laundry and clean a house. But I'll admit, when the trash needs emptied, I will usually call on one of my sons to take it out. I also call on them to get the spider (or cockroach), and to lift something heavy for me. I'll admit that I bought them toy trucks to play with as children. I wait for them to open a door for me and I talk to them about making sure they take care of the women/girls in their life. I remind them that they are to protect them, love them and cherish them. I've talked to them about being prepared to take care of their families financially if their future wives want to stay home and how to work together as a team if their wives have a career. My husband fills up my gas tank every Sunday night. He opens doors and drives when we are together. He also helps with laundry, makes me dinner and cleans better than I do these days! He offers his arm or hand when we are out and makes sure to help me bring in the groceries. He is my my protector, loves me and cherishes me.

My girls can lift a suitcase, shoot a gun and work in the yard. They plan on going to college and having a career, but they also talk about motherhood and the children they'll have. They'll get rid of a bug in the house if they have to, but love that they can call on their brothers to do it for them. They had a kitchen and baby dolls to play with as children. I remind them that they should want to be protected, loved and cherished. And I teach them about loving and nurturing.

I believe in ladies and children first.

I believe in men being men and women being women.

I'm not ashamed to have been a stay at home mom for 15 years; yet I willingly took a full-time job to help support my family through these difficult time.

I love that my husband is an awesome stay at home dad while he starts his own business at the same time.

What we've taught our family together is to cherish what God has created us to be. We teach our children to love God, family and so on. We teach them to want to act like ladies and gentlemen. We also teach them that you do whatever it takes to make your family work together. Sometimes that means mom staying home; sometimes it means dad staying home. There is nothing wrong with either. 

Personally, I'm proud of my knights and princesses!