mom - It's a Vivas Thing!

It’s funny how things change. Twenty-five years ago, my life took on a change. After spending some time with my next-door teenager, I became a believer and started attending church. It was at this church that I made life-long friends. It was here that I met the man I would marry and spend the next 24 years with; where we would raise our children.

And in a moment; everything can change.

….And so we begin the next 25 years in reflection of who we are and where are we going?

I’ve spent the majority of this past year in phases. And as I look forward, I have to look back. And what has it taught me?

There is a Spirit that lives within me that provides strength and peace when I allow it.

We are stronger than we realize.

It is ok to simply be the best me I can be.

My children don’t expect me to have it all figured out. (What a relief!)

My teenager can understand and handle that mommy has a broken heart; and help as we overcome.

My children are stronger than I could have ever imagined.

It is ok to let it all out…food for the soul.

There is grace; patience; acceptance.

I have amazing people in my life who have loved me thru it all; the good, the bad, the ugly.

Today, I spend time accepting and learning to feel better about myself.

I spend time enjoying long walks. (Take walks.) It is then that I can ponder and reflect and be encouraged by what God has surrounded me with. I listen to the birds and the wind in the trees; laugh at the hummingbird that dances in front of me. I follow the butterfly as it flits along my path and notice the squirrel that peeks out in curiosity.

I spend time talking to my kids. And listening. And just enjoying being with them and laughing and crying and laughing some more.

I won’t lie. It’s hard being a single mother. R-E-A-L-L-Y hard. I work a lot. And there seems to never be enough time; and most days I feel like a failure when it comes to this new role . I don’t now how I’d get thru it without all of us pitching in to make it work. But….we are making it work.

And so today, Mother’s Day takes on a new meaning. We’ve started over. Starting the next 25 years at a new church; one that is just beginning. This time, I am not a young woman just beginning her life, but instead, one that is older, and can hopefully make a difference.

It fills me with joy to be a mom; and I am grateful times seven plus one.

Happy Mother’s Day to you all.

Today was one of those days. It's one of those days where I am realizing how much adjusting I have to do as a full-time working mom.

The Drama Queen has very busy Wednesdays, so I try to remember to have her have everything ready on Tuesday night before she goes to bed. Early. Well, at least I try to get her to bed early.

It doesn't always happen.

So on Wednesdays, we rush out the door with everything she'll need for the rest of the day.

After work, we go straight to dance.

Dance bag; check.

Get to dance.

Dance pants in dance bag; check? Nope. Ok, so I remind her why it's important to make sure she's ready the night before and now she'll have to wear jeans to dance. I don't have time to get her home and back. She's not thrilled, but she realizes it's also lack of preparation on her part. And we walk inside.

To a room full of girls all dressed up.

Because today was dress up day. They're in cute costumes of bumble bees, angels, and princesses.

And she's in jeans.

And she doesn't even complain.

We forgot. I feel terrible. And she's a trooper.

After dance, she realizes she's forgotten her AWANA book. Too late, Dad can't go back and get it.

See, after dance, she goes straight to AWANA at church. It works because she has some special daddy time that they enjoy each week.

Again, she realizes she needs to prepare better and have her book in her bag.

Here's where we switch gears for a moment. I'm headed home with the Smart One (Dad picks up the Drama Queen from me at dance and gives me the Smart One to take home after he's just finished bowling.) Anywho, it's Bboo calling. Who's taking her to the game tonight, because she has to dance at half-time?

Yeah, I forgot. She doesn't usually do this on Wednesdays. I let her know I'm on my way home and hear her lose it. Because now the dog is sick and went on my carpet and what is she to do?

I get home, clean it up as best as I can, call dad to get the carpet shampooer from his sister, realize we're not having dinner anytime soon and get her to the game and the Smart One to karate. (Now you can understand why Wednesdays are so hard!)

Hubby helps get dinner going; we both end up missing Bboo dancing at the game; I get the carpet shampooed while hubby deals with yet another issue…and finally, we ask a friend to bring home the Drama Queen. She does.

And the Drama Queen walks in to let me know the her car one two races tonight and came in 3rd in another race. And nobody voted for her car in the design category and that made her sad. And she was a little sad that Daddy and I didn't make it to watch her race, but that's ok, because she knows we love her.

*Sigh*

We missed the AWANA Grand Prix races tonight.

Yeah, I forgot about that one, too.

I'm pretty sure I could win the Bad Mom Award tonight.

Or maybe not. Because despite it all, I have great children who tell me they understand and love me and don't hold it against me that I messed up.

And that brings me joy.