Be Kind - It's a Vivas Thing!

Apr 04 2018

Sometimes, there are no words…

A little over ten years ago, I met a wonderful boy named Josh. I was teaching youth ministry at the time, and his older sister had brought him to class with her. You could tell she absolutely adored him. And we would soon find out why…

Josh was so easy to love. He smile was so inviting…you couldn’t help but smile along with him! He loved his family and friends, and anyone else who crossed his path. He was funny and charming and had such a servant’s heart. And he loved his father so much. He would talk about his dad with so much pride in his voice; he made sure others knew how wonderful his dad was.

Losing Josh was such a shock. I remember the phone call telling us what had happened and not believing it. I remember the sinking reality as we headed over to his house and sat with his parents; and the days, weeks, and months that passed after. I remember the tears and the sorrow.

Most of all, I remember the people who came forward, sharing stories about how he had touched them; the kindness that he shared with everyone who crossed his path.

Josh was loved, BECAUSE he loved.

I remember when the Josh Stevens Foundation was first started and my dear friend, Drew came to speak to the staff at my school. It was the first time I had heard him share the story of Josh and his kindness publicly. There was not a dry eye in that room; every heart was touched.

It has been nearly ten years since the accident. Tonight, I was honored to attend the dedication of the Josh Stevens Elementary School. And when Drew, Josh’s dad, went up to speak, all I could think of was how much Josh loved his dad.

Josh is missed; but his legacy lives on. His legacy lives on because the dad that he adored has spent countless hours sharing his story. Lives are touched because Drew is so willing to be so real. More importantly, he is willing to show so much love and kindness to those he speaks to; especially the thousands of students he meets. You see, he doesn’t just tell his story; it’s much more than that. He patiently takes the time to listen as student after student waits to tell him their story. To tell him of their loss. To give hug after hug because they feel so connected to him.

Josh was so blessed to have Drew as his father. He so wanted to be just like him. And he was. Josh was so willing to love and serve others because he received so much of it from his parents.

As I walked around and saw the Be Kind shirts, I couldn’t help but remember the earlier days and how much love his mom and sister put into designing the shirts that would honor his legacy. The halls were filled with kindness and encouragement and the inspiration for students everywhere to leave their own.

I had to fight to hold back the tears. Everywhere I looked, the school embraced Josh’s legacy. And I couldn’t help but remember when “Be Kind” was first started; and think, “Wow! Look how far…” Sometimes there just aren’t any other words…

Aug 17 2017

Be Kind Reflections

Today was one of those days where you just need everything to stop so you can hear yourself think. Instead it was the craziness of the first week of school; filled with the needs of students, their families, the staff, and everything else. So tonight while I waited for my daughter’s appointment to finish, I decided to have some dinner and enjoy the solitude.

I was on my way to my favorite salad place, when I passed by a sushi restaurant, and found myself wandering in there instead. How many? Just one please. You sit at bar? No, can I have the booth please?

It was a nice, comfy booth, with little curtains for privacy…just what I needed to sit and ponder with.

As I sat there, I read through news that I wanted to catch up on, which included the opening of Josh Stevens Elementary. As I read about the grand opening and glanced thru the photos of the ceremony, I thought about what a wonderful influence Joshi was for us all. And it wasn’t just that he was so kind…but it was that he took the time to notice what was around him, and REACT to it in a kind way. There was a beautiful photo of his parents just taking it in, and I was reminded of the conversations we’d had about how much he loved them; no adored them! And his sister and brother. Josh wasn’t a kid who kept quiet about his family; in fact, it was just the opposite. He took any opportunity to brag on them, especially his dad.

As I sat there quietly eating, I couldn’t help but hope that I could be like Josh and notice what has been placed around me.

As I paid my check and walked out, I decided to go for a walk while I waited some more. It was a beautiful night, and I do enjoy walking. A few moments later, I passed by a young woman and her adorable little boy. He looked to be about three years old. They were talking and she was doing something on her phone, so I passed by. I came to a stop, then turned around and headed back, only to have that nudge to stop and see what she needed.

I apologized for interrupting their evening, but wondered if I could assist them. Did they need a ride, something else? The young mother said she was having issues with her phone and the Uber app, so she couldn’t catch a ride home. I introduced myself, to which she responded with her name, which she remarked meant, “Hope” in Russian. She also mentioned her mom would be very upset to see she was accepting a ride from a stranger! I responded that my children would probably be upset to find out I was giving a ride to a stranger!

Turns out we had a pleasant chat as I drove her to her hotel. I learned she is looking for a fresh start and hopes to move here to start over; much as I did 27 years ago with my own son.

As I drove back to pick up my daughter from her appointment, I had a small glimmer of hope. Perhaps tonight, I was a little like Josh, able to notice what was surrounding me and offer just a little bit of kindness to someone who really needed it.

Feb 18 2017

When they notice…

Today was one of those days that make you think as a mother. You know….where you wonder if you are making the right decision as a parent?

It all started when I picked up the Drama Queen from work…yes, she is old enough to have a job now. Unbelievable! Anyway, we were on our way to the store, when we impulsively decided to stop and have a bite of lunch. While there, she of course, ordered way too much food because her eyes are bigger than her stomach. So, she packed it all up and away we went.

As we pulled into Wally world, a man walked by her window with a bag of freshly made tamales. (Ok…please, this is not a political post, so no comments, thank you!) It startled her and I heard her say something excitedly to me. It took me a moment, and then I realized she was yelling, “Tamales, mom!” (Yes..we are one of THOSE people, who love to buy fresh tamales from a Walmart parking lot!) Suddenly, I heard myself exclaim, “I love Walmart parking lot tamales!” as we jumped out of the car. I used the little Spanish I knew and headed into shop and get some cash.

We quickly made our purchases and headed out, only to hear her exclaim, “Mom, he’s being arrested!”

And it went downhill from there. She was so sad, wanted me to talk to the officer and see if I could help him out. Now, as an adult, I know better than to walk up to an arresting officer and start up a conversation, and we did have a good conversation about soliciting and why it is illegal and health code and her brother’s bout with ecoli….so yes, we honestly do get it. But still, we drove out of there with a heap of sadness on our hearts, feeling helpless to help someone who obviously could use a good samaritan about that moment. And I wondered to myself, how could I have handled it differently, could I have done something….what kind of message was I sending to my teen?

And as we pulled around the corner, we pulled up next to a homeless man standing in the rain with a sign that read, “Help me!”

Immediately, she reached down to her box of still warm leftovers and instructed me to roll down my window and hand him her remaining lunch. Which I did, and to which he immediately thanked us profusely and tore open the box and began to scarf it down.

Here’s the thing…I am not writing to say, “Look what we did today.” But it really got me to thinking…and it brought back to mind the many instances where my children have stopped me to pray with a stranger or have jumped out of a car to help someone who has fallen out of their wheelchair in the middle of the road. The times we have made up bags to pass out to the homeless who stand on the street corner, collect and deliver blankets to those who sleep on the streets in the cold, or to purchase a card for the widow across the street so she knows someone cares about her.

Sometimes my children notice things that may hurt them to see and it makes my mama’s heart sad for them; but it also opens them up to the possibility of making a change; or helping someone; of having compassion and a heart to serve when these situations might otherwise go unnoticed.

And I am grateful on days like today when I second-guess myself as a parent, that the opportunity arises for me be reminded that I must do some things right, because I have amazing children that do not hesitate to put others before themselves. But more importantly, do not hesitate to notice those that could use a little encouragement as they go about their day.

Jan 24 2015

Model Pranksters

So I came across a video this week and it really kinda got to me. It reminded me of the times we’ve gone with B-Boo to feed the homeless and pass out blankets. It never ceases to amaze me how no matter how down they are, they still rush to help each other and make sure the others are being taken care of as well.

They are the first to take care of each other. Instead of trying to get more, they offer what little they have. They are grateful for whatever they are given. They understand acts of kindness and love.

In the video, the well dressed guy is helped, while the homeless man is discarded; ignored. Which got me to thinking even more about people in general.

Who are we most like when it comes to showing kindness and compassion to others in our lives? Do we only show kindness to those who have it all together and ignore those in our lives who don’t?

Do we makes excuses for our own actions of meanness and indifference by convincing ourselves that those we treat this way somehow deserve it?

Even more, are we the one that has no problem showing mercy and grace to strangers who desperately need help, but then have no problem stepping on those in our own personal lives that need us more than ever?

Do we so easily discard those we claim to love like they are so undeserving of anything more from us?

I hope not!

I pray that I can be an example to those who surround me. That I can not become so wrapped up in my own life and my own needs, that I forget what love and compassion and kindness are all about. That I can look around and notice when there is a need and and act upon it…in the right way. I pray that I can stop making excuses for any mean thing that I do, and instead recognize it and stop myself, and do the right thing.

Do the right thing because it is what we are called to do.

I believe that we are called to be good, and true, and kind, and compassionate and to love others as we would want to be loved. I also know that sometimes, we are so caught up in ourselves that we forget.

Instead, we close our eyes to that which we don’t want to see and convince ourselves that our behavior is ok, when it really isn’t.

Meanness is never ok and love conquers all. Sometimes we just lose our focus and need a little reminder.

This is me, just being real.

Here’s the video.

Dec 05 2010

A Child’s Heart Remembered – Josh Stevens Foundation

posted by Hope via joshstevensfoundation.org

I teach Bible study on Sunday mornings to our youth at church. I love these teenagers with all my heart. It was through this youth ministry that I met Josh. I’ll never forget the first time I met him. Shelbie, his older sister brought him in and sat him down next to her. She put her arm around him and announced that this was her little brother and that he’d be joining us that morning. He wasn’t technically old enough to be in the class yet, but I was touched by how his sister wanted him there, and the smile on his face; so he stayed.

And he was such a blessing to our youth group. His smiles, his enthusiasm for life, his rap songs, and his kindness. Josh was not afraid to seize any opportunity to show Christ to others through his Kindness.

This morning, I taught on seizing the opportunity when God puts it before you. Don’t miss your chance; don’t ignore it, just take the moment, the opportunity, and do something with it!

A little while later, I was helping run the *store* for our Children’s Ministry. Each month, the children have the chance to turn in tickets that they have earned in Bible study for a prize. One little boy in particular wanted the gingerbread man on the parachute. We dug through the bag and gave it to him as we received his tickets. Next came a little girl who only had one ticket, but wanted a two ticket item. She’d already spent two of her tickets, but really wanted the next item on her list. I thought about just giving it to her, but the table was crowded with children who were trying to get there *purchases* in and I felt an *urge* to leave it alone. Very unlike me. *smile*

A few moments later, the boy who wanted that little gingerbread man handed it back to me. He asked if he could please have his tickets back. I was puzzled, but then my heart melted as I watched him hand her his ticket so that she could have the special Christmas bookmark that she wanted.

I so wanted to give him a kindness card, as his special act reminded me so much of Josh; but I didn’t have one with me. But God is good and was showing me something, because there was a Kindness card to be found in the church. I grabbed another gingerbread man on a parachute, the Kindness card, and went in search of the boy, who was just leaving the church. I stopped his mother, and asked her to wait for one moment. Then I asked Jonathan, the boy, if he knew what a Kindness card was. Indeed, he did. I explained to him how wonderful his act of kindness was this morning, and how he had reminded me so much of Josh that it brought tears to my eyes. He smiled graciously, as he took his Kindness card and his gingerbread man.

It is moments like these that we need to seize; exactly what I was trying to teach a roomful of teenagers this morning. Exactly what Josh would have done.

Seize the opportunity; Be Kind and Bless someone else today.

visit joshstevensfoundation.org