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Funny Things Kids Say

When told that Mom was done driving everyone around, the drama queen, 8 years old said,

"So mom, if I want to go anywhere tomorrow, I have to walk or figure it out, right?"

We were watching a movie the other night that had Lindsey Lohan in it. When this same child saw her, she remarked,

"They need to feed her in real life. She's too skinny!"


One day when the Talented One was about 4 years old we were at my oldest son's baseball game. We were all sitting on the bleachers, which were full that day. Grandpa was sitting on the lower rung and our son was sitting on one higher up. He stood up and proclaimed to the whole world that day,

"Grandpa! Did you know you have a hole on your head?!"

Poor Grandpa was so embarrassed! Now the whole world knew he had a bald spot!

Another time this same son was looking at his grandmother's hand and asked her,
"Grandma, how come you have all those cracks in your hand?"
Poor Grandma had to explain that they were wrinkles.

And then there's our youngest son. When he was about eight years old, he started growing his hair out longer. Before then, he'd always worn it very short. A friend (bald) remarked to him one day,
"Boy, you need a haircut!"
To which he quickly replied,
"Well, at least I have hair."
It was definitely a spewing moment!

But the one that takes the cake for the week had us in stitches tonight. Seriously, I had tears pouring down my cheeks it was so funny! Our two youngest have been having a week of not being very nice to each other. After the final straw tonight, hubby marched them up to our room for a good shaking the fear into them! They are both standing there with tears streaming down their faces as hubby explains to them the need to be kind and loving towards each other. I add in the "treat others as you want to be treated" part, etc, etc.

And then it happened. The Drama Queen just couldn't take it anymore and wails out loudly and with as much drama as she can muster,

"I try to be nice! I'm trying really hard! I can't help it if God made me this way!"

Ok, she was so earnest….and we tried to take her serious, honest we did. But when we looked at The Smart One's face and saw him trying really hard not to laugh as tears were streaming down his face, we just lost it. I mean, I tried biting my lip. I tried turning my face. I did, honest. But….it just bubbled out! We were downright laughing out loud, the three of us, as my poor Drama Queen just stood there wailing. Which made us feel even worse….and continued the drama….until she at least smiled through her tears.

After things were all settled, hubby and I got a moment to ourselves…and just started giggling again. We couldn't help it! The mental picture will be with us for years to come!



Dinner Conversation Anyone?

You know, lately our meals at the table had become almost non-existent. It seems the older kids would come in from school, grab a snack (or a plate of food) and head to their rooms. I make *dinner* early a lot of days because that is when they are most hungry and it just makes sense to have a meal ready in the early afternoon rather than later when they've already scarfed down a plate of food only an hour or two before.

So anyway, in our larger family activities are constant and it seemed like family meals were becoming a thing of the past. And then….we got our carpets cleaned. I planted my feet firmly and said, "No more food in your rooms, in the living room or anywhere but the kitchen!" That gives them two options; kitchen table or kitchen counter/bar.

At first they fought it, but I think they are coming around. I'm enjoying a talkative breakfast with my two younger kids before starting on their home school for the day.

When the two older ones get home, I actually get to talk to them about how their day went…and they pay attention because they're stuck there if they want to eat!

Meals around the table are becoming the norm again…and personally, I think they like it. The conversation alone is something worth sitting there for! They go something like this:

"So how were swim lessons today?"

"It was fun!"

"So, was the chicken, star, rocket really as hard as it looked?"

"I kept mixing the chicken and the star wrong."

"What is the chicken, star, rocket?"

"It's the breast stroke."

"Well, when I took lessons it was monkey, banana, tree!"

"What about the frog thing?"

"Oh, the dolphin was hard."

"You mean the porpoise?"

"What's with all the animals anyway?"

And that's just a snippet of one conversation! Usually there are at least two conversations going on at once and they can get quite confusing, especially if you're part of one and then forget who you are talking to! All of a sudden the table is roaring with laughter because someone will say something that makes absolutely no sense because they've combined the conversations! You've got to be able to keep up at our table!

We're having fun again. I hope they'll remember our laughter around the table when they get older. It's really these moments that are priceless.

Homeschooling and Homework

I love homeschooling. Really, I do! I also love the fact that my older children who are now in public school still don't mind coming to me for help with their homework. However, sometimes, I just want the day to end sooner rather than later, you know? After homeschooling all morning, then hitting the books with the older ones, sometimes I feel like that is all I do!

But then there are days like yesterday. We go so much done during the day and I was just itching to be done. I knew B-Boo wanted some help with her English. I also knew her Health teacher had given them an assignment that they were supposed to do together with their parents. In addition, the high school boy had a book that needed to be read and so I agree to read it to so that we could discuss it and he'd actually remember what he read and pass the test on it next week!

We finally all settled down on our California King Size bed…the boy on the right, me on the left and B-Boo at the end…and dad at the desk in the corner.

The health project was on figures of speech that have to do with anger. We could only think of a few and needed more, so the four of us were racking our brains. Finally, mom and dad ended up on Google. This of course, led to so many hysterical figures of speech that we spent the next 30 minutes laughing at who comes up with these!

Once we calmed down, we moved onto the book (a biography of Beethoven) and the English assignment. Once B-Boo came up with a topic, "The Apprentice," we had some fun conversation between "Did you know…" about either Donald Trump, The Apprentice or Beethoven!

Before we knew it, we'd made it through the homework and had fun while doing it. (Not to mention some great family time!)

I went to bed last night feeling privileged instead of punished and am actually looking forward to what tonight might bring!

Bad Day Anyone?

Traveling is always fun…especially when you travel with the us! Each summer, I try to visit my parents in Colorado for a couple of weeks. So this particular trip I headed off with my usual crew consisting of my four youngest children, plus one of B-Boo’s friends. The van was packed full with a ton of suitcases, snacks, etc. We left behind hubby, who agreed to take care of the pets while we were gone. This included two snakes, 2 love birds, a rat and a hamster. The night before we left, we made sure to feed the snakes so that they’d be ok until we got back.

My parents live 12 hours from us. We head out very early in the morning and go as far as we can as fast as we can; which can take a while with small bladders and all of that. On this particular trip, we decided to stop in Farmington, New Mexico and pick up groceries at Sam’s Club. We called mom to find out what she wanted, finished shopping and headed outside; into the rain and to a very flat tire!

Luckily, we were in the same parking lot as Big O Tires…or not. They were closing in 10 minutes and it didn’t matter that I had purchased the tire from my local Big O, they refused to help. Frustrated and wondering how in the world I was going to get the tire off, fixed, back on and make it another two hours to mom’s…well, you get the picture! I was going to have to drag everything out of the van and try and figure it out! About that time, a gentleman came up to me and stated that all members of Sam’s Club get their tires fixed as a membership courtesy. I headed inside to talk to the tire people, who were busy at the moment. I waited and then spilled my story to the tire man who said that he wasn’t sure when he’d be able to help but to bring the tire in and he’d get someone to fix it. At this point, I lost it. Now, I don’t do that very often, but the thought of my groceries getting soaked, my kids sitting in the Sam’s parking lot, a flat tire and a long drive ahead finally did me in! On top of that, I’d tried to call dear hubby who was pretty short with me stating he couldn’t talk and hung up on me. Well!

Apparently my hysteria won the poor young man over, because he grabbed his tire stuff and followed me outside to the van. He took off the tire and told me to give him a few minutes and took the tire inside. By now, the kids were having fun coloring outside in the rain (ok, it was down to a sprinkle now) and so we waited.

See, now up to this point, you probably thought this story was about me, right? Nope! While we waited, I tried calling my hubby again. He answered the phone and listened patiently as I griped to him about what was going on and his ignoring me in my time of need. Then I let him talk. 🙂

Did I mention hubby was in a boot recovering from a torn Achilles tendon?  And that God has granted him enormous patience when it comes to putting up with his family and their pets?

Apparently he’d been standing at the back sliding door looking out in the yard when he felt something slither across his foot. He looked down to find the ball python had escaped from his cage and had made it’s way through the house, across his foot and into the backyard. Now I understand that most men would probably have said “Good Riddance” at this point, especially with a serious injury to their ankle; but not my man! He bravely spent the next 45 minutes chasing the python around our almost quarter acre back yard and even managed to capture her!  Then he had the patience to listen to me gripe about my problems and only when I was done did he ask how to lock the cage so the snake wouldn’t escape again! Now that’s what I call marriage!

About this time the tire guy came out with a fixed tire and even put it back on my van for me…and wouldn’t take a penny! I had the girls grab the groceries and help me get them loaded into the already overloaded van, at which point, B-Boo promptly dropped the berries on the ground, spilling them everywhere!

Did I mention I was having a bad day?

Some Moments You Just Never Forget

18 years ago my oldest son had his 3rd birthday. Over the years we’ve had many laughs over this  birthday. You see, this particular year he wanted a pinata. He was so excited about that pinata! We filled it with candy together and got it all ready for his birthday party. Finally, the moment came! We hooked it up to a tree, lined up the children and let them have at it! And then it happened; my poor son plopped himself down near the flower garden and proceeded to cry. When I asked him what was wrong, he replied through his tears, “They’re breaking my pinata!” My poor son had not realized that we’d have to break it in order to get the candy out.


This is him then 

Fast forward 18 years, the boy who’s crying in the above pictures is now 21. Last weekend we celebrated my 40th birthday. I was so blessed to have many, many friends show up. My family worked hard to throw me a wonderful “Death by Chocolate” party.  As part of the festivities, my husband bought a huge pinata for the adults to break.

 


This is him now (he’s the one smiling and taking the picture)

My husband had the birthday girl (that’s be me) attack the pinata first. When I was done attempting to break it (and apparently injure anyone who got in the way!), I handed the pinata over to my now grown son. He promptly killed the thing. As we watched the kids waste no time in devouring the candy scattered all over the yard, I flashed back to that day when the first ever pinata was broken in our back yard. I couldn’t help but look over to the side of the yard and remember seeing him sitting there in tears. I had to chuckle at how he didn’t wast anytime breaking this pinata! I looked up at my now grown son and he knew what I was thinking because he had gone back to that day, too. He told me that he’d thought about not breaking the pinata at all, but instead going over there and sitting against the wall again after all these years. At that moment, I knew we had added another memory; one that would not be forgotten, but instead reflected on year after year. Once in while, we are blessed with that special moment in time, the one that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside and brings just the slightest tear that you barely manage to hold back.  This is my warm and fuzzy. I love you, son!