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Jun 18 2009

Things We Were Never Told About Being a Mom

I've been thinking about motherhood. You know, the kind of mommyhood really, where you never thought you'd do this or that? I remember being a child and wanting a large family. I wanted 8 kids and I was going to be a great mom. I'd cook for them, sew for them, play with them, and we'd be the best family there ever was.

Well, I am 40 years old. I have 5 kids, plus guardianship of my niece and nephew. Seven kids. Yup! Ok, well my oldest is 21 and living on his own now, but I'm still his mom. I took my youngest son to a doctor's appointment this week, and as we were sitting there discussing some stuff, the doctor brought out a poopy chart. I didn't know such a thing existed! In case you'd like to know what a poopy chart is, you can see it for yourself right here. The next few moments were a discussion of poopies, what they look like, etc.

Never in my daydreaming of motherhood did I imagine myself someday looking at a poopy chart! And I got to thinking…what else did I not ever think I'd do as a mother? I mean, motherhood is VERY different than what I imagined it'd be. Better, but different. So here's my list of thing's I never imagined I'd do as a mom:

  1. Look at a poopy chart (sorry, I just can't get past the poopy chart!)
  2. Cook chocolate covered mealworms for my son's birthday and feed them to his friends.
  3. Pull a cockroach out of my 18 month old's mouth, alive and kicking (the cockroach, that is) not once, but twice. Ewww
  4. Explain to a police officer that I am sorry there have been three 911 calls from this number of the past couple of years, but please be patient and understand I have five children; it's bound to happen again.
  5. Explain to a profusely bleeding child as we run out of the mall that this is an ideal time to call 911.
  6. Make green eggs and ham.
  7. Homeschool.
  8. As a mom who hates needles, I never ever expected I'd have to give my child a shot of epi during an anaphylactic reaction. Yes, I can do it if necessary!
  9. Be able to drive a stick, hold a cloth to my child's severely bleeding head and get us to the hospital in less than five minutes. (She lived, but has a great scar after 17 staples to the head.)
  10. Have to figure out how to cook a great dessert/meal without gluten, wheat, dairy, eggs, soy or nuts.
  11. Find my daughter's frozen tastebuds connected to the top of a frozen orange juice can because her siblings convinced her to put her tongue on it after watching "A Christmas Story."
  12. Take a dying lizard to the vet , crying, hoping that we could save it so my son would not be sad.
  13. Have a range of pets over the years consisting of rats, hamsters, parakeets, lovebirds, ball phythons, garden snakes, water dragons, japaluras, rabbits, dogs, and whatever else I can be talked into.
  14. Have a 7 ft python brought to my house…and then hold it.
  15. Be filled with so much love.

I'm sure there is much more, but this is what I could come up with on the spur of the moment. Anyone else want to share?

And speaking of moms who could never have imagined, please pray for my friend, Kayla and her son, Elijah. She's such an inspiration. Elijah has EG and is tube fed a special formula. In my book, Kayla has gone above and beyond in the motherhood category. You can read her story at Bristle Ridge Academy

Written by Mama Vivas · Categorized: Faith, Family, Food Allergies/Gluten Free, Friendship, Health, Homeschooling, Humor, Pets, Ya Gotta Read This One!

Jun 13 2009

All Things Creepy!

Yesterday was the Talented One's 16th birthday…and since you only turn 16 once…well, we had a few surprises in store for him. We started off with a kidnapping to get him out of the house.

Nathan's 16th Birthday, kidnapped

I don't think he expected to be dropped!

Nathan's 16th Birthday blindfold

After several hours, he was brought to the party; blindfolded

Waiting for his surprise

And then he had to wait for his surprise!

Black headed python

I don't think he was expecting this python!

Kim, at Exotic Pets, was awesome! She did such a great job of educating everyone about the many reptiles that she brought, as well as handling them well. She was so patient when it came to letting the kids handle the animals, but made sure everyone was safe, animals, as well as humans!

Hope dropping the snake.

I told them I was about to drop the snake!

Tarantula

Scorpian

This boy isn't afraid to hold anything! And yes, that scorpion has its stinger!

Boa

No matter how big!

Total Fear!

This one was absolutely terrified, but you have to give her credit for trying to overcome her terror! Doesn't she look brave?

Kissing Iguana

There was even a kissing iguana!

Chocolate Worms

And chocolate covered mealworms…she wasn't afraid to eat them, either!

I am pretty sure my son was surprised at his party. In addition to the animals, he had numerous friends show up, as well as family. There were special video's made just for him and lots of laughter to go around.

Written by Mama Vivas · Categorized: Family, Friendship, Health, Humor, Pets

May 28 2009

Birds, Dogs, and TV Crews!

Thatbutton

(Note: After a week of camp in July, I came home to find out I'd become part of THAT Family Tree Society! How cool is that?! This post is from the day I realized how far I'd come! ha ha)

I woke up this morning thinking that it'd be a laid back day. I had no plans of putting on make-up or even making myself look much more presentable that the au natural. I threw my hair back in a pony tail and away I went.

I even managed to take the Talented One and B-Boo to school without too much chaos. And then it happened.

We were trying to get my niece off to school (never an easy task) and hubby out to work, when the Smart One mentioned that Roxy, B-Boo's pup, was missing. (That's never a good thing.) I told him to check the back yard.

About that time, the phone rings. It's my little Jewish friend. She wants to know how my day's going so far. I laugh and ask her why. She laughs and says she was trying to get her TB test done (this is a favor to ME…don't ask why), but that the testing center is closed on Thursdays, so can she come visit. Why, yes, come on over! (We tend to get into trouble together..never intentional, but always fun, but that is another post for another day.) I hang up, say goodbye to hubby and go back to my niece.

Anyway, bacRoxyk to the missing pup. She's so cute…don't you think? So, the Smart One checks the back yard and yells that Roxy has caught ANOTHER bird mentions that he thinks the cute, widdle, puppy has a tweetie bird. I yell back to get the thing politely ask him to please retrieve the cute widdle tweetie bird. He runs, she runs. (I"m still in the house trying to get hubby out the door and my niece packed for school.) He yells she won't give the bird up. I am NOT looking forward to cleaning up yet another bloody, gutted bird mess off of a white dog. I try to ignore it, honest. I tell him to get the bird. He says he can't reach her. He can't reach her? That can't be good, can it? Oh darn. 

I ask, "Why can't you reach her?"
He replies, "She's at the back of the kennel."
"The kennel, as in the kennel in the house? With the dead bird? And she won't let go? Ew!"

There are times when a mom must do what she has to do. Ok, then. I go to the kennel where my son is still yelling at the dog to drop it. She doesn't listen to him. I peek in and find this cute, adorable, puppy sitting all the way back in the kennel with a bird in her mouth. It's head is peaking out. It's alive…yes, alive this time. That has to be a good thing, right?

I have to stop here and ask my readers…have you ever done something and then realized that may not have been the best way to do it? You know, one of those, "I didn't see that coming, did you?" moments? This, was one of those moments!

By now, I have four children standing around the kennel wondering what's going to happen next. I simply command the dog to drop the bird. (She actually listens to me sometimes.) She promptly dropped the bird and ran out the dog door to avoid my wrath. The bird promptly flew out of the kennel and into the boys room. The girls scream. LOUDLY. I screamed, too, not out of fear, but I was rather startled to have a bird come flying at me. The boys just stand there in awe looking at the chaos. My husband comes running back into the house, panicked. He left the car running outside to come inside and find out what all the commotion was about. He tried to catch the bird. The bird went flying. The girls screamed. Hubby yells to stop screaming. I yell at my son to take my niece to school; she's late.

And then I lose it. I mean, I completely lose it. I am hysterical. I can't stop laughing. I think of THAT family. I'm so bad at this point, that I yell at no one in particular to go get my camera because I just have to blog about this one! (That tells you just how nuts I am at this point, right?!) I'm pretty sure my husband thought that I had really lost it this time. I tell him to go to work, I'll catch the bird. Really.

Hubby heads off to work. My son makes back in record
time. He doesn't' want to miss out on the action! I can't find the bird.
Anywhere. I know which way it went. We start to tear the room apart. I finally find it under the dresser tucked way back in the corner. And then my little Jewish friend shows up.

I say to her, "Wanna help me catch a bird?"

To which she replies, rather enthusiastically, I might add, "Sure!" ( I have to say that I absolutely ADORE my friend; she's so awesome!)

We head into the room and I show her where the bird is hiding. Her daughter and I lift up the dresser so that she can get the bird. I tell my son to make sure to take a picture. She gets the bird. It flies to the other side of the room. She goes to get it. She stubs her broken toe. (Being my friend comes with danger at times. It's a risk you take. Maybe I should give a disclaimer or something like that before one agrees to become friends with me.) She catches the bird…and holds onto it. She even lets my son take a picture. After two tries, this is the best we can get.

Bird

The little bird turned out to be ok, a little wet, but unharmed, so we let it go in the front yard so it could dry off safely. I'm not sure, but I think this was still better than cleaning up bird guts off of a white dog.

Bird2

But you know what is really funny? After all the chaos is over and my friend and I finally get to sit down and have a nice chat, my phone rings. We have choir rehearsal tonight for our concert this weekend, so I answer the phone since it's my friend the choir director. (Did I mention that she also works for the local news station?) She asks how my day is going so far. I laugh. She mentions maybe she shouldn't have called. I'm intrigued. She wants to know if I'm interested in being interviewed for a news session that they're working on. I laugh again. Ok, when? She says she'll have the reporter call me. TWO SECONDS LATER, the phone rings again. It's the reporter. She wants to know if she can come now. I laugh. (Remember, my hair is in a pony and I have no makeup…I look terrible. I mean, when I woke up this morning, the thought that I might be on TV honestly never, ever, occurred to me!) In the end, I did manage to pull myself together in time for the interview without giving a hint of the chaos that had occurred shortly before. And that was AFTER having a nice, friendly chat with my friend, the bird catcher!


 

Written by Mama Vivas · Categorized: Family, Friendship, Humor, Pets, Ya Gotta Read This One! · Tagged: THAT Family

May 03 2009

Newest Family Members

Ok, yes, it's true. We have added two more to our already crowded family. In all fairness though, we couldn't help it! My boys were begging me and they had the funds…and well, here they are!

IMG_0340(rev 1)

Falkore

  IMG_0339(rev 1)

No Name

IMG_0334(rev 1)

IMG_0320(rev 1)

IMG_0322(rev 0)

I wanna see, too!

To recount our family:
One Husband
One Wife
Three Sons
Two Daughters
One Niece
One Nephew
Two Pups
One Rabbit
One Ball Python
One Hamster
Two Neon Dragons
One Toad (ok, he stays outside eating cockroaches, but he sure seems like a pet at this point!)

And no, we don't have a partridge in a pear tree!

Written by Mama Vivas · Categorized: Family, Humor, Pets

Apr 23 2009

Laughable Moment #9

Hubby got paid today. That's a good thing…so in celebration, we headed over to Costco! We had decided that it was time to get the pups a bigger doggy bed to lie in during the day in the living room. I was not about to pay pet store prices, so we decided to look at Costco while we were there. We found a pretty nice navy blue one with a really soft pillow. I say this, because the Smart One walked all over Costco with the soft pillow bed on his head. He did this so that I could see where I was pushing the cart. I'm short, in case you didn't know that…and trying to see over a cart full of groceries and a doggy bed just doesn't work for me! (Bruce, if you're reading this, please try hard to refrain from sarcastic remarks and laughter!)

Anyway, we finally make it out of Costco with the Smart One carrying the doggy bed on his head. We get the month's worth of groceries into the van and then I go to climb in the front seat and drive away. Only, I can't…cause what happened next was too funny.

I'm not really paying attention to the Smart One beside me, because I am in a hurry and trying to get through Wally World before I have to pick up the next child from school. All of a sudden I hear,

"The view is great up here!" (Huh?)

I turn to my side, and there sits the Smart One, all seat belted in, sitting on a throne of a doggy bed! He was totally comfortable on his temporary throne! ha ha

He managed to lose his throne when we got home though. Roxy took one look at it and claimed it as her own!

IMG_0290

Written by Mama Vivas · Categorized: Family, Humor, Laughable Moments, Pets, Smart One

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