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Mar 08 2018

Only so much time…

We are only given so much time.

Time to love. Time to laugh. Time to cry. Time to grow.

Time to spend with those we love.

Time to live.

We spend so much time being busy. Busy being a mom. An employee. The list goes on. Sometimes, we are forced to slow down. With my recent surgery, I was definitely forced into a slow down period. And as hard as it has been, the most positive part of it is the time it has given me to spend with my family, with friends, and more. It has been wonderful to spend time with precious friends I hadn’t seen in ages.

But even more, is the time I spend with my kids; my family. I know some people look forward to the “empty nester” stage. I know, I know….they have to grow up some time. But, in the meantime, I’m going to continue enjoying the walks in the park with my boys. It’s a time to talk and learn more about each other as we grow older. A time to learn that the Talented One loves Doris Day music. Who knew? I love her singing and acting! So we walk, and talk, and listen to music from “before my day” while my youngest son tries his hardest not to face plant on his new longboard. Then there’s the long talks on the back porch or at the kitchen table with the Smart One. Oh, how I treasure those moments with my boys. It won’t be long before they will be gone and the talks and walks will go with them.

The time I spend with my girls. When the Drama Queen rushes in bouncing on my bed to tell me (with full drama, of course) all about her day. And we often talk until one of us falls asleep. Or when the Princess tells me what she learned in health class today, or of deeper conversations of who she wants to be one day and how she’s going to get there.

I miss the days when my oldest daughter would watch a movie with me on a Sunday afternoon…and of course, fall asleep. Or we’d catch up after a long day, or plan trips together.

An my oldest…I miss going into his room in the evenings and chatting before bed.

As they get older, they find others to spend their time with. And naturally, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or a wonderful spouse.

Recently, I had some one on one with my oldest… and we had the best time just talking and eating ice cream. I actually went home and cried. Not because I was sad, but because it had been so long since we just sat and talked and enjoyed some time together…and so I was a emotional. He’ll understand it one day with his own children. The pride you feel as they grow older, but the pain you feel as they grow older.

Soon, we’ll be welcoming a new member into the family. I am so…overcome with emotion as I look forward to meeting my grand-baby. Oh, the talks we will have; the walks we will have…

But for now, I’m going to continue to enjoy the time I have in those moments on my porch, or in my bedroom, or at the park….and eating ice cream….and perhaps, even sneaking in a trip or two…

 

Written by Hope · Categorized: B-Boo, Chicken Noodle Butt, Drama Queen, Family, Good-Looking One, Just Being Real, Princess, Roni, Single Mom, Smart One, Talented One · Tagged: 5 minutes for mom, family, family time, friendship

Dec 22 2016

Mama Bear Vent!

Ok, I don’t rant often, but …

As a mother of a child who has severe food allergies, it just doesn’t make sense to me why others do not take it seriously. Keep in mind, I manage a school, so I am able to see both sides of the coin; how hard is is to regulate, and how seriously we need to take it in order to keep our students safe.

My 5th child was diagnosed with severe food allergies when she was just five months old. It changed our world. She was literally the first patient her pediatrician had ever had with food allergies. He had no idea how to deal with it, but by the time she was eight, he was an advocate of educating others about them. When my daughter was young, it was nearly impossible to even find someone who would watch her because they were afraid of her food allergies. I get it. I remember the first time I left her alone overnight…that was when I finally agreed to a cell phone! It was scary.

I remember putting her in school for the first time, in the 2nd grade. THAT was scary. What if someone touched her after they had eaten peanuts? What if they breathed on her? I remember reading an article once about a 15 year old girl who died from of a kiss from her boyfriend who had eaten peanuts earlier in the day; she never told her boyfriend she was allergic.

From a very young age, I worked hard to teach my daughter to advocate for herself. Don’t touch things that don’t belong to you; don’t hold hands with other students. Don’t kiss anyone or let them kiss you. Don’t share food or drinks. Don’t eat anything if you haven’t checked yourself to make sure it is safe; not everyone understands how to read food labels for ingredients. It’s too dangerous.

Today, more people are aware of food allergies than every before. Food allergies affect 1 in every 13 children in the US. There are now laws mandating that food be labeled clearly. More and more facilities/vendors are peanut free; or at the very least, have a space that is peanut free. Restaurants are more aware of what they are serving than ever before.

But…when it comes to air travel…..

I remember the first time we ever traveled by air with my daughter. We carried her onto the plane, wiped down everything she could come into contact with, and put a crib sheet over the seat she was sitting in. We flew Southwest because they did not serve peanuts on the flight that she was on. We tried to take the first flight out to make sure it was as safe as possible, but if we could not, the flight attendants were always nice and checked for any loose peanuts when we flew with them.

We haven’t flown in a few years. But recently, one of our dear friends booked a flight for her as a gift for her 16th birthday present. I was not too concerned since their website states, “Inflight food offerings may contain trace amounts of nut ingredients, or may have been processed in facilities that also process nuts. In addition, we are unable to prevent other passengers from bringing nuts and/or products containing nuts onboard our flights.” To me, this meant that although they could not prevent others from bringing nuts on the plane, they would only be serving foods that may contain trace amounts. So, as long as she doesn’t eat a nut, or someone next to her doesn’t touch her after eating nuts, she would be ok.

Not so the case.

I will say that their staff was very nice for her flight to her destination. They allowed me to go to the gate with her. (This is at their discretion since she is now 16.) Once we arrived at the gate, we informed them of her peanut allergy and that she was carrying epi-pens and she would be wiping down her seats. They were very nice and let her board first. I stayed to make sure she got off safely.

And a good thing! Because the next thing I knew, they were calling me over and letting me know they were going to de-board her from the plane. Their reasoning was that her peanut allergy was too severe and they were contacting medical to see if they would approve the flight. Twenty minutes later, she got approval to fly. They put her on the back seat and the flight attendants took excellent care of her.

And they served peanuts on the flight….not food with trace amounts, but the actual peanuts themselves.

Fast forward to today:

A) The man at check-in refused to let an adult go to the gate with her even though the flight was delayed because she is 16. He was also made aware of her peanut allergy and he said he would let them know AND that he had changed her seat to make it more safe for her.

B) He didn’t tell anyone AND he didn’t change her seat.

My  vent? I understand policy and procedure. It’s not the airline’s fault my daughter has a peanut allergy. HOWEVER, the airlines should very clearly state on their website that they SERVE peanuts on their flights so that their customers can make INFORMED decisions before they hand over their money AND THEN get kicked off of the flight because it isn’t safe.  Family kicked off flight over peanut allergy

My bigger vent? With food allergies ever growing, why aren’t they taken more seriously? Public schools in Nevada now have to carry epi-pens just in case a student goes into anaphylaxis. My daughter’s school FASA has had to use the school epi-pens multiple times on students who do not carry an epi-pen or did not even know they needed one.

One would think that with the millions of people that fly every day, the airlines would take peanut allergies more seriously and just not serve peanuts, or at the very least, on flights that have customers with peanut allergies on them.

I am an even bigger fan of Southwest airlines these days. They have no problem announcing to the other passengers that there is a passenger with a severe peanut allergy on the flight and that no peanuts will be served; and they offer an alternative (pretzels) when it comes to these flights.

Meanwhile, after four hours of sitting in an airport by herself because she is considered to be an adult, my daughter’s flight just got cancelled. She’s not old enough to book a hotel room by herself, and she won’t be flying out until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest.

Thank goodness for fantastic friends who have no problem waiting in the freezing cold until the airline could finally make a decision about the flight. Thank you, fantastic friend, for waiting as she makes her way out of the airport to the warmth of your car and I’m sure, a warm hug, because you are careful of her food allergies.

 

Written by Hope · Categorized: Drama Queen, Food Allergies/Gluten Free, Health, Just Being Real, Late Night Ponderings · Tagged: drama queen, food allergies, friendship, parenting

Sep 25 2016

No Way!

When the Drama Queen first mentioned she wanted to go to the iHeart Radio Musical Festival, I will admit that my first thought was, “No way!” But I have learned thru the many years of being a mom that sometimes we have to shove away our thoughts of no way and listen to what is being asked.

(*Tangent* I am a firm believer of the gut as a mom. I tend to listen to what it says.)

She really wanted to go. Told me all about the artists that would be there. Said she would find a responsible friend or older sibling to go with her. And the more she talked, the more I realized that this was an opportunity being given to me to:

(A) Spend some quality time with my quickly growing daughter. I have two years left with her before she starts adulting.

(B) Show her that I am absolutely willing to have fun with her and her interests.

(C) Protect my daughter while she is in the middle of possible mobs of people!

(D) Give her the best 16th birthday gift ever!

(E) I would get to see Sam Hunt!!!

So, we had a conversation. I told her I would absolutely let her go to the festival on one condition. I would be the one going with her. 😱

She digested for a few moments and then agreed. And over the next several weeks we listened to songs of everyone who would be there. We talked of what to expect, the artists I wouldn’t like, etc.

…and then it was time! We had to park far away and take the free shuttle. This ended up with us finally paying someone to take us so we wouldn’t miss everything. So she got to see mom negotiate and agree if he got us there quickly and didn’t wait around.

There was the many conversations with different people of all ages and who they were there to see.

There was the crazy drunk girls. And learning how to react to a situation that could end badly. And how the surrounding people were willing to work together to move away from them a little at a time: together. And the conversation of why she would never do that. And the Mama Bear in me that wasn’t about to let anyone smash my kiddo.

There was the lady who was near passing out from the crowds and heat. And how we all worked together to help the situation and get her out of there.

There was the mob. Once you are in, you are in. And slowly we made our way closer and closer with the crowd. It was crazy and loud and standing all day.

And there was the many conversations of the artists and their music. What was good, bad, and amazing. We talked about their talent and their attitudes. And yes, there was one artist who was so talented yet so inappropriate. And we talked about his lyrics and his talent and what he does with it. And it was a great conversation!

But most of all, we had a wonderful day together. We laughed and sang and danced and were exhausted and starving by the end of the day. And as we sat eating, she thanked me for going with her.

And that’s why I shoved the “no way” thought away. We would have missed out on an awesome day spent together.


As parents, we are given unique opportunities to spend with our children. Embrace them. Have fun. Live a little. Love a lot.

Written by Hope · Categorized: Drama Queen, Family, Just Being Real, Uncategorized · Tagged: drama queen, family, family time, memories

May 08 2016

Mother’s Day 2016

It’s funny how things change. Twenty-five years ago, my life took on a change. After spending some time with my next-door teenager, I became a believer and started attending church. It was at this church that I made life-long friends. It was here that I met the man I would marry and spend the next 24 years with; where we would raise our children.

And in a moment; everything can change.

….And so we begin the next 25 years in reflection of who we are and where are we going?

I’ve spent the majority of this past year in phases. And as I look forward, I have to look back.  And what has it taught me?

There is a Spirit that lives within me that provides strength and peace when I allow it.

We are stronger than we realize.

It is ok to simply be the best me I can be.

My children don’t expect me to have it all figured out. (What a relief!)

My teenager can understand and handle that mommy has a broken heart; and help as we overcome.

My children are stronger than I could have ever imagined.

It is ok to let it all out…food for the soul.

There is grace; patience; acceptance.

I have amazing people in my life who have loved me thru it all; the good, the bad, the ugly.

Today, I spend time accepting and learning to feel better about myself.

I spend time enjoying long walks. (Take walks.) It is then that I can ponder and reflect and be encouraged by what God has surrounded me with. I listen to the birds and the wind in the trees; laugh at the hummingbird that dances in front of me. I follow the butterfly as it flits along my path and notice the squirrel that peeks out in curiosity.

I spend time talking to my kids. And listening. And just enjoying being with them and laughing and crying and laughing some more.

I won’t lie. It’s hard being a single mother. R-E-A-L-L-Y hard. I work a lot. And there seems to never be enough time; and most days I feel like a failure when it comes to this new role . I don’t now how I’d get thru it without all of us pitching in to make it work. But….we are making it work.

And so today, Mother’s Day takes on a new meaning. We’ve started over. Starting the next 25 years at a new church; one that is just beginning. This time, I am not a young woman just beginning her life, but instead, one that is older, and can hopefully make a difference.

It fills me with joy to be a mom; and I am grateful times seven plus one.

Happy Mother’s Day to you all.

Written by Hope · Categorized: Family, Just Being Real, Single Mom · Tagged: faith, family, family time, mom, parenting

Nov 21 2015

Facing the Future

This post is about change. About looking forward to the future.

Our family has gone thru quite a bit of change over the past several months. Change we never expected. Change we didn’t see coming. But…isn’t that what life is about?

My kids are amazing. I have seen them grown in so many ways. We are all a work in progress, but sometimes change forces you to look at life differently; look at yourself differently, and then you have to choose how you will embrace it and move forward.

Sometimes, you have to take a hard look at yourself and ask, “Who am I?”

I’m not sure; but I know I have more courage these days.

So one day, we were at the kitchen table and we were talking about stuff. The Vivas Table Conversation is one that keeps us laughing. We never know where we will end up, but oh…if you only knew… 😆

Anyway, I mentioned that I’d like to get a little butterfly/dragonfly tattoo on the inside of my right wrist. I wanted them to look like they were dancing towards the future. (Proverbs 31:25; my new life verse). Over the next several weeks, B-boo helped me work with an artist to get the tattoo just right. He knew I like purple and what I was after. His design was perfect! Except, it would not fit on my wrist. It needed to be an ankle tattoo.

Proverbs 21:35 states:

She is clothes with Strength and Dignity;

and Laughs without Fear of the Future.

Strength

mental power, force, or vigor. power of resisting force, strain, wear, etc.

Dignity

a sense of pride in oneself; self-respect. a composed or serious manner

Future

likely to happen or exist.

Butterfly

To Christianity, the butterfly was a symbol of the soul; of resurrection. They are able to change to carry on life. They are adaptable. They have the ability to fly. They represent endurance, change, hope, and life.

Dragonfly

The Dragonfly is able to show itself in different colors. Iridescent. It symbolizes the ability to live life. To live in the moment. 

And so… the moment arrived and I walked in with my daughter and her best friend. They were their to support me. 🙂 And when I saw the beautiful design….I realized the little paper I thought he was drawing on was actually an 8X10! I balked…but I REALLY loved the design. I had a choice to make….the tattoo that symbolized exactly what I wanted, colors and detail that fit perfectly; a tattoo that represented my life; our family…or, a little tattoo inside my wrist.

Tattoo Drawing

And so, 5 1/2 hours later….

So much for my little wrist tattoo.  😀

 

 

 

Written by Hope · Categorized: Family, Just Being Real · Tagged: courage, dignity, family, strength, tattoos

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