Humor | It's a Vivas Thing!

Dec 06 2009

If You’re Wondering

If you're wondering why I've been gone for the past two weeks, let me give you a hint! (or several)

There was the day I made this

To Celebrate This

And then, there was this

It took 26 minutes to get the comb out of her hair. Note to self; do no let your cousin play with your hair, it takes 26 minutes of mom's Thanksgiving baking time away.

Which leads us to this; more of B-boo's food photography

And Thanksgiving science

And finally, some family fun. 22 people in our house, and we're still smiling!

This would be the Drama Queen not running on her injured foot. It also explains why it won't heal and why I really mean it when I tell the doctor that she continues to move it without knowing it's still broken because she feels no pain.

Of course, it doesn't help that her cousins beg her to play football with them!

Then, there have been the normal appointments, decorating for the holidays and all that other stuff that has kept me away from the computer. For instance, we're gearing up for the Children's concert next week, but I think I might be back this week. I miss the writing. Oh, and there was this one other thing this week; B-boo's dance. I couldn't get a good shot of her performing, but I did get a mighty good picture of her and her brother! I just LOVE this picture, don't you?

BTW, he just had a birthday, too! I can't believe he's 22!

Dec 05 2009

Fall

Fall has finally made it here in the Vivas home! Our backyard is covered in leaves. That means a lot of work to look forward to; raking, bagging, hauling. But for today, it means playing.

You have to love our free-spirited child! Yes, this is the Drama Queen in her glory! Pajamas, gloves, sweat jacket, and a boot to match her injured foot's boot. According to her, life just doesn't get much better at the moment!

Nov 23 2009

Miserable Monday

You know, some days it's better just to stay in bed.

Or at the very least; go back to bed!

I woke up this morning thinking it would be an ok day. I managed to get three kids off to school without a hitch. (I also managed to finish off the coffee.)

I managed to make my way upstairs to the shower; and actually got one!

Then, the phone rings. It's Chicken Noodle Butt's doctor. After a lengthy conversation, and many interruptions from the Princess, we finally manage to get an appointment down. And then, I find out that it is 39 miles from my house! Great. I'll worry about that, later.

By now it was after nine and the home counselor who works with my niece was late. I had to take the Drama Queen for a lab test and she wasn't happy about it. Finally, dh came down, told me to go, and asked what time the counselor would be there.

9:00 am.

He says it's 9:40.

At that precise moment, there is a knock at the door. It's her. I let her in and my niece pipes up,

"That's funny! Uncle Art asked Aunt Hope when you would be here and she said nine and he said it was nine forty and then you knocked."

I wanted to shrink into my sweat shirt. She replied that she'd had a hard time getting there. I raced out the door with the Drama Queen leaving hubby to deal with the counselor. I figured it was a fair trade since I had to deal with the Drama Queen and needles…and blood.

And we waited for over an hour….all the while she scrunched up closer in my lap and gave me all the reasons why she was afraid and filled my head with her drama.

Once we were called back, I begged her to please not scream in my ear. I reminded her she's done this countless times and she doesn't even complain. She asks the nurse to show her how it feels. The nurse pinches her. I tell her not to look. Duh, of course she'll look.

As the needle gets closer, she prepares to scream; takes a breath, starts to shout and instead remarks,

"Oh, I'm ok. Am I doing good, mommy? I'm trying my best to be brave."

I tell her thank you for not screaming in my ear and she's doing wonderful.

From there, we had to head over to another place. I've been there; I know where it is. Only it isn't there. So, I head over to the other place I think it might be. Nope; not there. I give up and head to Wally World to pick up the Smart One's birthday gift. I know it''s there because I've seen them at the other Wally World. Except I can't find it. So I ask for help. The man replies that Wally World doesn't carry them, that the only store in town that carries it is Toys R Us. Sure, ok…even though I saw it at a different location? I decided I'm done and head home with the Drama Queen.

On the way, we see a homeless teen, so we stop and hand her one of our hobo bags. She takes it gratefully and we head on.

As we head up the street, a HUGE GIANT BOX comes flying across the street, and lands on my windshield! I'm talking refrigerator size box here, people! I slam on my breaks and the box flies off and lands in front of my van. Whew!

I manage to calm down and drive around the box and get home, in time to gulp my lunch down and take the Princess for her therapy appointment. I manage a few moments of calmness before she comes out. And she is not happy. Great.

After an enjoyable ride home…NOT…I remember I have a couple of phone calls to make. One is to the local gluten free bakery. She had promised me a dozen free cupcakes for my trouble one night, so I decided to take her up on the offer for the Smart One's birthday tomorrow, but I had a couple of questions about what else the cupcakes contained; specifically, nuts anyone?

She informs me that they do not contain nuts, but they are made in a facility containing nuts. I ask her are the in the same room or somewhere else. she replies that they use the same pans and stuff. Oh. So I says, they are made on the same equipment so may contain nuts. She says, no, they won't contain any nuts, they are just in the same pans. OK. I politely tell her thank you very much, but I'm afraid I can't take that chance with my children's allergies, so thank you for offering me the cupcakes, but I'm sorry, I won't be able to accept them and I won't be purchasing the others that I wanted to order either. She replies, "Look! I'm not an allergy baker, I just wanted to make gluten free cupcakes for my sister!" She sounded pretty upset and I told her I was sorry, but I can't take the chance with the nuts and hang up.

And I realize that I need to bake something for the birthday tomorrow after all. The Smart One says he wants a chocolate cake. Ok.

So I grab B-boo because, by this time, we have to leave for the ortho appointment. I'm explaining to her that my day seems to be not going so great and we realize I've gone to the wrong office. Great. So I take a quick right and then another right and head back from where we've come. Only the road is under construction and down to one lane. I make another right so I can make a quick left into the parking area.

And discover I'm in a little tiny alley, with no exit. No place to turn around.

And I'm in my big ol' RV conversion van (as one of the Drama Queens friends likes to call it.)

Now, I can't back up, because I'd be backing into a very busy street. So, I find a mansion that doesn't have their gate shut and pull in their driveway and attempt to back up in the tiny alley and turn around. Three times.

B-boo is laughing at me. Seriously laughing at me.

I finally get turned around while she remarks about all the cool toys they have at this mansion.

She goes in, comes out, we check out. And I found out that the $1500 portion the insurance is supposed to pay isn't going well. "Um, what exactly does that mean?" It means the insurance has only paid $80 dollars and you'll probably be stuck with the rest when your COBRA runs out.

Great. It's just one of those days.

We finally make it home and I explain to my husband that I'm not good to be around tonight. I go to mash the potatoes while he listens to my woes about the day.

And realize I smell vanilla.

In my potatoes.

That can't be good! I poured vanilla rice milk into the potatoes instead of original. Ah shucks!

After many spices added in with some doctoring up of sour cream, I got rid of the vanilla taste in the potatoes and we went on to have a decent dinner.

I've been hiding up in my room ever since. I'm not coming out again until tomorrow.

Nov 20 2009

Quotable Quotes #2

From Grandma,

"I loveeee disasters!"

Lengthy pause.

"Wait! Let me explain!"

Conversation with B-boo as she puts on her brother's jacket.

"I feel bright this morning."

"Nope, you're the same smart as you are everyday."

"Was that an insult?"

During bible study with my son, we were talking about respect. I asked him,

"How can we show respect to our elders?"

"Who are our elders, Mom?"

I gave him some examples of elders in our life. His response?

"Oh! Well, you know, I can show respect to them, by, you know, helping them if they have bodily conditions that keep them from doing things."

Nov 15 2009

Warning Label

This post is for my women readers only. Trust me, guys, you'll just want to move past this one!

I debated whether I should write this or not. I wondered to myself if I was crossing the line on the blog world of the internet, but then I decided, women everywhere need to be warned. This is serious!

As some of you may remember from a previous post, I hurt my foot. I've been dealing with foot pain for a while now. It's slowly getting better, but it's not all well yet. To help things along, I was given a resistance band. The idea is to sit down, place your legs straight out and then use the band to pull your foot in to stretch the tendons out properly before walking around for the day. I am to do this three times each day. The nurse showed me how to do it and it didn't seem dangerous at all.

As my foot is getting better and today was a bit chilly, I decided to wear my nicer jeans and a sweater to church. The jeans are a bit long since I am a bit short, so I need to wear my boots with them. I thought that if I stretched my foot good, I would be able to stand wearing the boots for a couple of hours at church, especially since most of the time is spent sitting. I had my jeans and tank top on (no sweater yet) and sat down stretch out my feet.

This is kind of what it looks like, except I only stretch one foot at a time. (That's not me, btw!) The nurse explained that your arms get a good work out, too, because you're supposed to pull as hard as you can and stretch your foot towards you to get the tendons to stretch. I've done this exercise a few times with no issues.

Until today.

I started with my right foot. No problem.

I moved to my left foot. No problem.

I moved back to my right foot and that's when it happened.

Big problem.

This is where the warning comes in.

A) Be very careful where you place the resistance band.

B) Be very careful to watch where the band is at all times.

C) Don't pull too hard.

All I remember is that one minute I was pulling and stretching my foot and in the next instant I was doubled over in searing pain, moaning and screaming with tears streaming down my face. I had visions of the scene in "A Christmas Story" when the dad is downstairs in the basement trying to fix the furnace and unrecognized cursing is being sent up through the vent. I saw a white light. I could hear B-boo's concern as she ran into the bathroom with concern, stating,

"Mom, are you ok? I heard a snap. Did you hit your face? Is your nose bleeding? ARE YOU OK, MOM?!?!?!"

All I could do was moan in pain. Serious pain. Blinding pain. And shake my head, "no" to her pounding questions.

When I could finally catch my breath and wipe the tears from my face, I looked up to find her still standing there with concern on her face.

"No, I didn't hit my face. It hit my chest."

Her eyes widened in realization at what her mother had just managed to do to herself. She got it, because she used to be a competitive gymnast and she knows about resistance bands.

I could tell that she was trying hard to decide if she should let the laughter out or not. She was probably wondering if she'd be in pain for laughing at her mother's pain.

Finally, I had no choice but to laugh at the situation, because, after all, I am a Vivas, and this is definitely one of those Vivas Things. She laughed, I laughed, we laughed together.

And then I told her to leave because I needed to check things.

Except for the three inch wide welt that runs COMPLETELY across my chest, I am ok; I think.

I'm hoping the fiery pain will subside soon.

It's probably a good thing it wasn't my face; I'm sure I'd be blinded for real instead of blinded with pain.

Ladies, please heed my warning. This is very dangerous. You have to pay very close attention to what you're doing.

Oh yeah, my foot feels better, thanks for asking.