It's a Vivas Thing!

You are here: Home / Archives for Health

What They Don’t Tell You!

Yesterday was my one year anniversary of my blog…and I forgot! I had more important things to do, actually, but still. Happy Anniversary to Me!

Anyway……….

This is going to be one of those posts that you wonder if you should write…and you think maybe not, but then…somebody has to be the one to warn others! And so, if you're a guy, you may want to skip this post. Ladies, read on!

Two weeks ago, I went in for my yearlies. You know, all of the yearly things that women have to do to make sure they are maintaining their health? Part of me is thinking maybe I shouldn't have, but…

Part of my *yearlies* is to now get a mammogram. Apparently, once you're over 40, you just have to have it done. I remember having one at 21 and thinking it wasn't so bad. At 21, I hadn't read all of the horror stories about what a woman goes through for one of these tests and I stayed *innocent* for years.

I remember reading comical stories about what women go through and laughed.

So, last week, I went for my turn. While I was baring myself and good-naturedly complaining, I was reminded by the lovely technician to think of this test as a good thing; it's good to know that there is nothing wrong when there isn't; and if there is, well, at least they will find it. Yeah, OK. I went on to be pinched and pulled, flattened and stretched, hold your breath and all of that good stuff, but it really wasn't near as bad as the stories would have you to think.

Until they call you until you that something is there. But don't worry, they're not saying it's this and they're not saying it's that, they're just saying it's something that needs to be looked at closer.

Notice the word: closer.

For all of you ladies who have escaped having a *closer look,* you may now stop complaining. Because  closer look means just that.

This time, it meant going into an ICE COLD room. The machine looks the same; is, in fact, the same machine. So I ask the lovely technician, "What is it going to see this time that it couldn't see the last time?…and why is the room so much colder this time around?"

She replies that they will magnify the image in a certain spot this time. That's all she says.

And then, she makes you stand even closer. And you gasp, because the machine is F-R-E-E-Z-I-N-G.

And she pulls and stretches and flattens you. Like a pancake.

And then, she flattens you more. Like a piece of paper!

And you can not possibly breathe. She tells you to hold your breath. Hello? I'm already doing that! And you keep holding it. And keep holding it. Until you think you're going to pass out.

Finally, she lets you loose.

And as you're gasping for air, she turns the machine to a different angle, and starts all over again.

"I don't remember it being this painful the last time."

Her reply?

"Oh, well, that's because this time, we need to get a really close look. It does hurt a bit."

Ya think?

Well, no, you don't get to think, because by this time, she's grabbed you again and has started the mauling process all over again.

You stop breathing again, but you're afraid to swoon, because, if you pass out, you might fall, and that would be really bad since you're still connected to the machine.

Finally, after three of these episodes, she informed me that she was done. I was ecstatic! I was outta there!

Only, not.

Because, you see, when you have to go back the second time, they lead you back out to a little freezing cold waiting room, where you sit with other freezing cold women. And you have to stay there until the radiologist looks at the images and decides if you have to go back in for an even closer look or if you'll be allowed to escape go home.

I haven't prayed quite so hard in a while.

It worked, though. Because after 15 more minutes of waiting, I was given my freedom. I don't think I've ever dressed so fast or left a building so quickly! I'm still sore!

All I have to say is this:

Regular mammograms are nothing compared to the *closer look* mammograms! That's where the real stories are!

Miserable Monday

You know, some days it's better just to stay in bed.

Or at the very least; go back to bed!

I woke up this morning thinking it would be an ok day. I managed to get three kids off to school without a hitch. (I also managed to finish off the coffee.)

I managed to make my way upstairs to the shower; and actually got one!

Then, the phone rings. It's Chicken Noodle Butt's doctor. After a lengthy conversation, and many interruptions from the Princess, we finally manage to get an appointment down. And then, I find out that it is 39 miles from my house! Great. I'll worry about that, later.

By now it was after nine and the home counselor who works with my niece was late. I had to take the Drama Queen for a lab test and she wasn't happy about it. Finally, dh came down, told me to go, and asked what time the counselor would be there.

9:00 am.

He says it's 9:40.

At that precise moment, there is a knock at the door. It's her. I let her in and my niece pipes up,

"That's funny! Uncle Art asked Aunt Hope when you would be here and she said nine and he said it was nine forty and then you knocked."

I wanted to shrink into my sweat shirt. She replied that she'd had a hard time getting there. I raced out the door with the Drama Queen leaving hubby to deal with the counselor. I figured it was a fair trade since I had to deal with the Drama Queen and needles…and blood.

And we waited for over an hour….all the while she scrunched up closer in my lap and gave me all the reasons why she was afraid and filled my head with her drama.

Once we were called back, I begged her to please not scream in my ear. I reminded her she's done this countless times and she doesn't even complain. She asks the nurse to show her how it feels. The nurse pinches her. I tell her not to look. Duh, of course she'll look.

As the needle gets closer, she prepares to scream; takes a breath, starts to shout and instead remarks,

"Oh, I'm ok. Am I doing good, mommy? I'm trying my best to be brave."

I tell her thank you for not screaming in my ear and she's doing wonderful.

From there, we had to head over to another place. I've been there; I know where it is. Only it isn't there. So, I head over to the other place I think it might be. Nope; not there. I give up and head to Wally World to pick up the Smart One's birthday gift. I know it''s there because I've seen them at the other Wally World. Except I can't find it. So I ask for help. The man replies that Wally World doesn't carry them, that the only store in town that carries it is Toys R Us. Sure, ok…even though I saw it at a different location? I decided I'm done and head home with the Drama Queen.

On the way, we see a homeless teen, so we stop and hand her one of our hobo bags. She takes it gratefully and we head on.

As we head up the street, a HUGE GIANT BOX comes flying across the street, and lands on my windshield! I'm talking refrigerator size box here, people! I slam on my breaks and the box flies off and lands in front of my van. Whew!

I manage to calm down and drive around the box and get home, in time to gulp my lunch down and take the Princess for her therapy appointment. I manage a few moments of calmness before she comes out. And she is not happy. Great.

After an enjoyable ride home…NOT…I remember I have a couple of phone calls to make. One is to the local gluten free bakery. She had promised me a dozen free cupcakes for my trouble one night, so I decided to take her up on the offer for the Smart One's birthday tomorrow, but I had a couple of questions about what else the cupcakes contained; specifically, nuts anyone?

She informs me that they do not contain nuts, but they are made in a facility containing nuts. I ask her are the in the same room or somewhere else. she replies that they use the same pans and stuff. Oh. So I says, they are made on the same equipment so may contain nuts. She says, no, they won't contain any nuts, they are just in the same pans. OK. I politely tell her thank you very much, but I'm afraid I can't take that chance with my children's allergies, so thank you for offering me the cupcakes, but I'm sorry, I won't be able to accept them and I won't be purchasing the others that I wanted to order either. She replies, "Look! I'm not an allergy baker, I just wanted to make gluten free cupcakes for my sister!" She sounded pretty upset and I told her I was sorry, but I can't take the chance with the nuts and hang up.

And I realize that I need to bake something for the birthday tomorrow after all. The Smart One says he wants a chocolate cake. Ok.

So I grab B-boo because, by this time, we have to leave for the ortho appointment. I'm explaining to her that my day seems to be not going so great and we realize I've gone to the wrong office. Great. So I take a quick right and then another right and head back from where we've come. Only the road is under construction and down to one lane. I make another right so I can make a quick left into the parking area.

And discover I'm in a little tiny alley, with no exit. No place to turn around.

And I'm in my big ol' RV conversion van (as one of the Drama Queens friends likes to call it.)

Now, I can't back up, because I'd be backing into a very busy street. So, I find a mansion that doesn't have their gate shut and pull in their driveway and attempt to back up in the tiny alley and turn around. Three times.

B-boo is laughing at me. Seriously laughing at me.

I finally get turned around while she remarks about all the cool toys they have at this mansion.

She goes in, comes out, we check out. And I found out that the $1500 portion the insurance is supposed to pay isn't going well. "Um, what exactly does that mean?" It means the insurance has only paid $80 dollars and you'll probably be stuck with the rest when your COBRA runs out.

Great. It's just one of those days.

We finally make it home and I explain to my husband that I'm not good to be around tonight. I go to mash the potatoes while he listens to my woes about the day.

And realize I smell vanilla.

In my potatoes.

That can't be good! I poured vanilla rice milk into the potatoes instead of original. Ah shucks!

After many spices added in with some doctoring up of sour cream, I got rid of the vanilla taste in the potatoes and we went on to have a decent dinner.

I've been hiding up in my room ever since. I'm not coming out again until tomorrow.

Why Mom’s Can’t Sleep

It's a holiday today. As a homeschool mom, I'll be sure to remind my kids why they don't have school today and to pray for those families whose members are serving or have served in our armed forces. And I'm not making light of what today is. But holidays mean something around here.

I have six kids at home. Count them…six. (I have a college student but he lives on his own, so he doesn't count in this post.)

Six kids means that I can have six different places to be on any given day. It means, everyday, I have four public school schedules to keep to at three different schools, plus working homeschooling around my youngest. Whew! It makes me dizzy thinking about it. Add in doctor appointments, counseling appointments, sports, activities, etc…and I am one tired mom!

Which brings me back to a holiday. It means I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to take anyone to school! Don't get me wrong; I love getting up at the crack of dawn and making breakfast for my kids and having that special time in the morning. But I'm getting older and tired.

So back to that holiday anyway! Last night, hubby made the littlest ones promise not to wake up anyone…at all…this morning. (I did tell him that he should realize that is a promise they won't be able to keep. The Princess can't stand being alone, quiet, for anything and Chicken Noodle Butt will find something to cry over.)

I also have this problem. Once I'm awake, that's it for me. I can not go back to sleep. It's the same for me at night, too. Wake me up, I'm up.

A friend asked the other day how can she be so tired and yet not fall asleep. I replied that it's the brain. It finally has time to function, so it goes into full mode. Mom's go to bed wondering if they've accomplished everything they should have during that day and wondering how they can get the everything accomplished the next! Unfortunately, God forgot to give us a turn off switch for our brains.

So this morning, it's a holiday. I don't have to be anywhere. I get to sleep in, right?

At 6:47, the little one goes into the bathroom. He's talking as loud as he can about counting and the fact that something is yellow. I pretend I don't hear him, but he starts to get louder. I finally just say, "Shhh!" He stops, and it becomes quiet again.

Next thing I know, my phone goes off. Now, I know that I turned off the alarm, so this means it's a person. It's 7:03 and my sister-in-law wants to know if I want to go to the parade today. I tell her I'm asleep and ask when and where. She says she was asleep, too, but mom woke her up so she's texting me with one eye open. I consider the parade.

"The little ones might like it. That means I'll have to wake the older kids up. That means I'll have to get up soon and make breakfast. Oh wait, we're all supposed to be sleeping in until whenever we want today. We do need sleep. But hold on. Chicken Noodle Butt needs pants and it's supposed to get cold tomorrow. I'm supposed to find time to get him pants today…and it needs to be cheap. Penneys might be having a sale since it's a holiday, or I can take him to Savers. It sure would be nice if hubby had a job. If I take them to the parade the Drama Queen will be walking around a lot on that broken growth plate. She'll probably like that but we really should keep her off of her feet. Oh, that's why I promised her we'd paint today. Oh man, that means a mess…I wonder if I can con Chicken Noodle Butt into doing something else. I could give him a puzzle. Maybe I we could all work on a puzzle together. Oh wait, I need to call the ortho doctor and find out where his leg braces are. Today's the eleventh and they told me to call today if I didn't hear from them. Speaking of doctor visits, I need to make them a dental appointment, too. I wonder when I can get them in. Speaking of teeth, maybe I should make a good breakfast today. I could make biscuits and gravy. That sounds really good, but it will have to be for a late lunch/early dinner because I need to thaw out the sausage. I'll have to look up a recipe for gluten free biscuits for the Smart One, and I'll need take out part of the sausage to make the Drama Queen dairy free gravy. That reminds me, I still haven't replaced the broken skillet, but I think I can manage with the pot. Giggle…I better make sure the Drama Queen doesn't touch it otherwise she might break another toe. Speaking of gluten free recipes, I need to find one that doesn't have eggs so I can still make stuffing this year for Thanksgiving. Did someone let the dogs out? I hope they gave them water. Oh man, they need a bath today. I wonder if the kids can handle their baths by themselves. Roxy is a pain to bathe. We really should have named her Marley; dumb dog."

About this time, I realize the toilet is running, so I get up to go jiggle the handle. Chicken Noodle Butt starts crying about something, so I head over to find out what is wrong with him. Hubby comes upstairs to take over and let me sleep. Yeah, ok. I head back to my room and lie down. I text sister-in-law to tell her the plan for today was for everyone to sleep in as late as they want. She laughs; I laugh.

I try to go back to sleep.

"I wonder what to get the Good Looking One for his birthday. Poor boy has to work on his birthday. It really would be cool if we could all show up with a cake and sing to him at work. I wonder if he'd get fired if we did that? Maybe if hubby is working we can take him out to lunch. It will probably be pretty crowded though since it's black friday. Oh, I hate going out on black friday…who does that anyway? It was fun though, last year, when he took us out in the middle of the night. Boy, was it cold. That reminds me, what are we going to do for the Smart One's birthday. I can't believe he's almost 12. He'll be hitting puberty soon, that will be fun. I wonder if the Good Looking One will teach him how to shave, too. The Talented One loved that! Christmas is coming soon. What will we do? What do you get a 22 year old? The little ones are easy; legos and barbies will make them happy.And they do seem happy a little don't they? I wonder if we'll end up adopting them. Where will we put them? I wonder if I can get a good job and just have all of my salary go into adding some rooms on the house? Then we'd all fit. Speaking of fitting, I can't believe the Talented One and the Smart One are graduating college and high school the same year. Can we really throw a big party for the graduations and the 18th birthday all at once? It could be like a family reunion! That's be great. Where would we hold it?"

8:25, I get another text message. This time from Punky, asking me to bring the choir book so she can make copies. "It sure would have been great to skip activities tonight, too." I text her back ok.

I write this blog.

It's now 8:46 am. Hubby thinks I'm sleeping. I think I'll go make some coffee and cuddle with him.

No, no parade today. It's quiet in the house for now and somehow, that seems a much better way to spend my morning.

More Drama

I was telling my friend, Punky, the other day about how much the Drama Queen is really full of drama! She's been that way since I found out I was pregnant with her. To date, here is her drama:

Almost miscarried; then found out I had placenta previa.

Made it through that to have a not so fun delivery.

Sick baby; for months. Finally found out it was food allergies.

She's had many anaphylactic episodes. None of them fun. Obviously.

She tried to chop off two of her toes. Once she was all stitched up and I threw away my white overalls (somehow I didn't think the blood stains would come off!), we took her home where we were told she'd probably not walk for a few days. I laughed. She was running in the backyard and climbing her Mulberry tree the minute we got home!

She swallowed a penny. Insisted it was stuck. Vitals were good, but let's do an x-ray anyway; oh…it's stuck in her throat, let's take her by ambulance to the children's hospital for surgery. After surgery, we're told she won't be able to eat anything for a few days. I laugh. She insists we get her breakfast on the way home as she's starved.

She splits her head open. BAD! CT scan comes out good, so we head home with 17 staples. We're told she'll probably sleep all day. I laugh. We're told to keep her down for the next 48 hours. I laugh again…this time from hysteria.

She drops a Plexiglas drum container on her foot. It probably weighs a couple hundred pounds. She stops crying, but I take her to urgent care anyway. It seems like she's ok….but, she has her mama's high tolerance for pain. The doc takes an x-ray because I insist that it really could have hurt her. Then she sends us on our way, stating that there is no way it is broke because she can move it. Ok. Then she calls us back. The growth plate is indeed broken; doc is shocked. I laugh. She gives us a special shoe:

Shoe 

And tell us to keep her off her foot. We laugh. We go home and decorate the shoe. We also decorate the next three that she goes through. One each week that she manages to destroy. Finally, I just stick her back in her sneakers. Oh…and she loves to gross adults out by showing them which toes is broken…as she moves it. NOOOO!

We've managed to keep her pretty safe for over a year now…almost two!

And then, I made the mistake of asking her to put the dishes away. Simple really, right? Until I hear that scream. You know the one; the one that says someone is hurt? Yeah, that one.

I came around the corner to see a magic blade knife on the counter. I can't see anything but the Drama Queen's head. I say a quick prayer, "Please, Lord, don't let it be blood. I can't handle stitches or staples today."

It turned out it was the stainless steel, copper bottom pot that fell out of her hand and onto….

Yup, the same toe! I wait for a little bit, even though I see it bruising already. Then, hubby and I discuss the situation.

"Well, there was the penny that no one wanted to believe was really stuck. And there was the toe that couldn't possibly be broken."

I call the foot doctor and explain the situation. He says bring her in. Just to be safe. Sure, ok.

The result?

IMG_1964
  Not only did she manage to fracture her toe again…but the same exact growth plate…again. Yes, she has now twice broken the same growth plate.

Apparently its not good to keep breaking the same growth plate.

Apparently she needs to not move it. (insert hysterical laughter)

Apparently the young-looking foot doctor has met enough of my family now to take me serious when I say she'll break those wooden shoes. (She takes after me; the one who fractured her foot big time and still has no idea how it happened!)

Apparently he's smarter than us; because he gave her a boot to decorate.

One that he insists she can not tear apart. Or break. Or destroy.

Oh, and apparently she's not allowed to climb trees for three or more weeks. And apparently she can't dance.

Which set off more drama…because there are only a couple of things that she requires for her happiness…her mulberry tree and her dancing. So much so, that tonight as I discussed her foot with her dance teacher on Sundays, she suggested letting her sit on the edge of the stage and at least do the hand motions.

But then, we had an *ah ha!* moment. And we remembered that it was the Drama Queen we are talking about. And we had to agree with the doc. No dance. Cause she'll be up on that stage unable to contain her merry self…and jumping around on that toe…and doing some serious harm (again) to that growth plate that just wants to be left alone.

Yea, I'm thinking maybe stitches would have been better. The healing time is shorter.

One of THOSE weeks!

Kristin over at We Are That Family is celebrating her 2 year blogoversary and has asked us to share a THAT Family moment. I thought of linking up the THAT Family Tree Society blog that made me part of THAT Family, but then I changed my mind. I do that. Instead, I thought I'd share one of THOSE most memorable moments!

Thursday & Friday:

It was a week to remember. A very long week.  Hubby had been out of town and was finally in the air and on his way home. After a long day, I was finally able to jump in the shower. The Drama Queen, almost 2 at the time, was sitting on the carpet right outside my shower talking to me. When I got out, she informed me she'd just swallowed a penny. Ok. She looked fine. She was breathing. I started to dry myself off. She repeated that she had swallowed a penny…and it hurt. I placed my finger in her mouth and felt around. Nothing. But her eyes were huge and she demanded I take it out. And off to the ER we went, dragging along her then 10 year old brother with us. (The other children were gone that night.)

At the ER, vitals were taken and declared fine, so we were ushered off to a *closet* room so we could double check with an x-ray and go home. In the meantime, the Talented One had been picked up and taken to his Tia's home. I'd left a message on hubby's phone that we were at the ER but everything was fine.

Until they took x-rays. And the technician ran out of the room. Literally, leaving us standing there. And then he ran back to inform me not to move or startle her and that he was calling an ambulance.

NEVER do that to a mom!

The coin was lodged in her throat and she needed to be moved to a children's hospital for surgery, via ambulance. So, I called hubby again and let him know that it wasn't fine after all. And a good friend for prayer, who was wonderful and immediately came to wait with me at the hospital.

And the ambulance came and we drove off with hubby following behind in his car while the Drama Queen waved happily from the ambulance. And she had her surgery and the penny was removed and all was well.

For a couple of days. And then my other good friend went into labor and I spent Monday at the hospital with her.

Tuesday received a call from hubby just after dropping off B-boo at gymnastics. He asked me to meet him at the ER. Not funny when you've spent three of the last five days there. He was serious. The Talented One went back to his Tia's. I went to the ER. The staff there said we looked familiar. We explained we were the parent's of the coin swallower. They said they'd been wondering if it was a quarter. Nope, a penny. Hubby had a badly sprained ankle and so they did a half cast thing and wrapped him up. And I took him home.

Wednesday I woke up to an almost dead Chinese Water Dragon and a very upset son. What's a mom to do? I took the thing to the vet. He told me it was going to die. I cried. Yes, I cried over a lizard. I told him I'd do anything to help keep the little guy alive as we were having a very hard week. It didn't work; the little guy didn't make it.

Thursday we were up early as it was my turn to watch Tia's kids. Things were going smoothly, so the Talented One agreed to watch the little ones play in the yard while I managed to get hubby in the shower as he was starting to smell. We managed to get the splint off when we heard a blood curdling scream. A scream like that is never a good sign. I ran down the stairs with hubby hopping and screaming behind me. As I rounded the corner, the Talented One stood in the doorway with the Drama Queen held tight to his chest. It looked as if a bucket of blood had been poured over them. Oh…and the scalp on the back of her head was hanging down.

I grabbed her, a towel, the keys, and ran out quickly before hubby could see it. And off to the ER we went again. I can't tell you how I managed to somehow drive a stick shift to the hospital while holding pressure to her head and wiping the ants off of her. Not only had she managed to fly off of the swing backwards and land on a 2 by 4, but she'd landed in an ant's nest to top it off! (The swing set was removed from the yard immediately!) As we ran into the ER, they took one look and opened the doors and rushed us back. The conversation went something like this.

Me: "I need a doctor right away."

Nurse: "Ma'm, we need you to calm down."

Me: "I am calm, but we need a doctor right away."

Nurse: "Ma'm, it's not that bad. You need to calm down."

Me: "It's bad. I've seen it. I'll calm down when you get a doctor."

Doctor: "Let's have a look. I NEED A NURSE RIGHT NOW! THIS CHILD NEEDS TO BE SEDATED! WE NEED A CAT SCAN!"

I calmed down. 17 staples later, we headed up to the CT department. Poor little old lady was sitting half asleep on a chair outside the room because she'd been taken out of the machine because of my daughter. We're sorry. You see, we're just THAT kind of family and we were just having one of THOSE kind of weeks.