Family - It's a Vivas Thing!

Feb 18 2009

Can I have a fire with my bath?

In our previous home, I had a large bathtub (not a jacuzzi, just a rounded tub) that I used to love taking baths in. I'd head into the bathroom complete with bubble bath, candles and a good book. There's just nothing like a good bubble bath to end a long, drawn out day!

When B-Boo was little, she'd toddle into the bathroom and beg to join in. I knew if I wanted a non-toddler bath, I'd better wait until she was in bed for the night! However, sometimes I'd start the bath and then smile to myself as I waited for those small footsteps to come running. Then I'd hear her sweet little voice ask,

"Mommy, can I take a bath with the fire, too?"

We'd spend the next hour playing with bubbles and giggling in the soft glow of the candles as we grew beards and funny hair.

She's grown quite a bit since then and is way too old to take a bath with her mom, but she'll smile as if she knows a secret when I ask her if she wants a fire with her bath. Then she'll settle in for a bit with a good book.

Feb 16 2009

It Runs in the Family

So this morning I get up to clean the bird cage and vacuum up the dining and kitchen area. I pull out the vacuum cleaner to find it standing lopsided and unusable! Oy! What is one to do! I then remembered the drama queen telling me that the vacuum cleaner hit her on the head on Friday night when she was vacuuming the stairs, but all seemed OK and she had stated she'd put it away, so I thought all was well….I was wrong!

The Smart One and I spent the next 15 minutes trying to figure out what was wrong with it. We thought we were close, but taking it apart was something I wasn't sure we could accomplish, so we put it back into the closet to wait for dad to come home and fix. Meantime, the bird cage still needed some cleaning, so B-Boo had grabbed a broom and was starting on the floor. We got the bottom of the cage clean and refilled with clean bedding and headed to put the cage back together. Now, the man and I have done this several times so should have a routine, right? Wrong! He promptly picked it up and the drawer went sliding down and bedding poured out over B-Boo's pile of mess. Oy! So, she started cleaning the bigger mess up while we refilled the bottom of the cage and tried again!

We've kind of had one of those weeks, you know? Hot chocolate was spilled earlier all over the fridge, B-Boo and the kitchen floor…and the mop broke. Great!

Laundry soap lands on the floor unnoticed and spills all under the washing machine…great. Dirty laundry, no laundry soap…and a big mess on the floor. Great!

Vacuum cleaner breaks and stuff gets spilled all over the floor. Great!

Don't you just love it when that happens? At any rate, Dad came home and we spent a good 30 minutes taking the Dyson apart and fixing it and putting it back together correctly. I have to say, that's one thing I love about my Dyson…you can take it apart and put it back together without having to call a specialist to take care of it for you!

We were finally done with the chores and headed out to run some errands. Because it is President's Day, we thought the Smart One had no karate tonight. We were wrong. As we rushed back home to get him ready, Dad prepared him an egg sandwich. Turns out the bread had molded. (He follows a gluten free diet, so his fresh bread molds more easily than store bought bread.) Anywho…when Dad turned to take the bread off it went flying onto the floor. He didn't look thrilled, but I had to laugh and explain to him that we'd been dumping things on the floor all day!

Like I said, it runs in the family!

Feb 13 2009

A Mother’s Instinct

Sometimes it seems hard to tell the difference between a Mother's Instinct and over worrying. Where do we draw the line? How do we know when we're not just being over protective and making a mountain out of a molehill? How do we know how long to search for the answer we know in our gut is out there somewhere? It's hard!

I can think of some specific instances in my children's lives when I have had to decide to stop searching for nothing or let others think I was crazy and continue in my search for whatever the answer was!

The first instance was with my youngest son. By the time he was one, he had started losing weight and gone into failure to thrive. He had no interest in eating real food. He threw up a lot. He suffered from constipation and terrible tummy aches. He had a serious lack of bladder control. He suffered from the worst type of *growing pains* that I had ever seen; to the point of nearly crippling him at times. We saw specialist after specialist year after year. Finally, when he was five, he was released from his *failure to thrive* diagnosis. Still, he continued to suffer and we continued to take him to these specialists. I'll never forget our pediatrician saying to me one day, "He's fine. There is nothing wrong with him. It's just a case of mom worrying too much."

Finally, we just kind of gave up taking him to doctors and tried to figure it out on our own instead. Last winter/spring, he started taking a serious turn for the worst again. I started taking him to different doctors again, all to no avail. He started having several instances of barely being able to walk, stomach pains, severe constipation and overall weakness and fatigue. The pain in his legs, heels, feet, arms and legs was almost crippling. One night I took him to the ER when we just could not watch him suffer anymore. I begged the doctor to figure out what was wrong with him once and for all. I'll never forget his reply. He looked me straight in the eye and said to me,

"If you really feel there is something wrong with him, take him to Loma Linda. If he was my child, I would take him to Loma Linda. They will figure it out."

I called Loma Linda Medical University the next morning and got him an appointment right away. They had suggested that he see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist there. I had written up three long pages explaining all of my son's past medical history. She read every page, went over them with me and talked to my son like he was a real person. It took her two days to figure out what was immediately wrong with him and a few more weeks for the rest of the test results to come in! It turned out that my son was suffering from food allergies and a gluten intolerance. Now that he is free of these foods, he is completely pain free! It took ten years, but it was worth it!

The next instance was with my youngest daughter, the drama queen.

She was born with a terrible looking *rash* that was later determined to be eczema. She was a great baby, but she didn't sleep well, suffered from what I call her *non-nursing* spells, and generally only wanted to be held by certain members of the immediate family. Again, I took her in over and over to the pediatrician, all the while being told it was just eczema or that she had a tummy virus. Finally, when she was five months old, a friend recognized that she had food allergies. I'd never really heard of them, but at last I had some hope! I followed his advice and took dairy out of my diet and noticed an improvement right away! It was short lived, but at least we were on the right track! I convinced our pediatrician to send her to an allergist despite his wanting her to see a dermatologist instead. It turned out that she had one of the worst cases of food allergies the allergist had ever seen! With much perseverance over the past eight years we have managed to keep her food allergies under control and her skin looking beautiful!

The next two instances happened with my older daughter. The first started when she was about six years old. She'd been home schooled for two years and was doing great in math, but she struggled with reading. My gut told me there was more to her struggles, but when I casually mentioned my concerns to friends and relatives, I was told she was probably just a little bit of a late learner. By the time she was eight, learning to read had become a battle she was quickly losing. I had taken her to different eye doctors who said her eyes were fine. I felt as if no one was listening to me except for my husband. Finally, I happened upon a conversation one day where an acquaintance was telling a friend of mine about her daughter's new optometrist. After listening for a few minutes, I explained a little about my daughter's reading struggles. She suggested I take her to this optometrist.

The day of the appointment I had a conversation with my dad. The appointment wasn't cheap and he knew that. He felt like it was a waste of time to take her to another doctor and was just trying to prepare me that maybe she was just a little slow when it came to reading. I took her anyway. After two long hours of testing, it was determined that she had a list of visual problems: visual perception problems, sequencing, her right eye was stronger than the left and basically shut it down, etc. I'll never forget going home that day. I was relieved that we were finally on the path to helping her, but shocked at how bad it seemed. My father told me that day that he was glad that I had not listened to him. I was, too! After much Vision Therapy it was also determined that she had dyslexia. She's 14 now and still struggles, but we face it head on together and make the best of it!

The most recent incident happened to this same daughter. God must most definitely have a plan for this child, because He has taught her to persevere even when the going gets tough! Almost two years ago, she started suffering from bouts of sharp pain. We thought that she was getting ready for puberty, so just kind of helped her to deal with it. But by the end of that summer, she'd been to the emergency room twice and did not seem to be getting any better. I decided to take her into my ob/gyn doctor (who'd delivered her!) and see if there was anything we should be concerned about. It was determined that she had a mass (which was later found to be a polyp) in her uterus. She was scheduled to have surgery to remove it. About six months after the surgery, she started to have problems again. This went on for the next few months with no relief from medications. She had her second surgery eight months after the first. By now she'd had a miserable summer and was just wanting to have a normal life free of pain suffering. Unfortunately, the second surgery gave her no relief. At this point, we were referred to a hematologist, a gastroenterologist, an endocrinologist, and finally a pediatric gynecologist. By now she was missing weeks of school and getting worse instead of better. Still suffering, we took her to see a specialist in Los Angeles. Nothing, she just blew us off. Night after night, day after day we prayed over her. I made phone call after phone call trying to get anyone to listen to me and possibly offer a solution for her pain. Finally, after weeks had turned into months, a pediatric gynecologist agreed to see her. The only problem was that she was located 1400 miles away! I had no idea how we were going to get there, where we were going to stay, or what we were going to do. But I knew that my gut was telling me that this is where we needed to be! I knew that if God wanted us there, He was going to get us there! At this point, one of my family members asked me,

"Just how far are you going to go? When when are you going to stop?"

I could only reply with my heart. "I will take her wherever I need to take her, however far I need to take her, until someone can help her."

Within 24 hours, God had provided flight tickets, a place to stay for two weeks, and the money needed for the trip and doctor. The surgery was successful. She was finally diagnosed with endometriosis. After the diagnoses and surgery, a specialist in our hometown agreed to take her on. She has spent the past three months getting back to leading the life of a normal teenager. She smiles, she's happy.

And me? I get to type this blog..ha ha. Ok, but seriously, I believe God has given mothers an *instinct* if you will, to know when we are to stop, and to know when we are to persevere. Sometimes we may start to question ourselves, but if we look deep down and ask Him to show us the way, He will!

My son was talking to me today about the faith of the mustard seed. He wants that kind of faith, the kind that moves mountains. I'm not there yet, but motherhood sure is bringing me closer to that tiny little seed!

B-Boo and The Man

Drama Queen (& friend)

Feb 11 2009

Homeschooling and Homework

I love homeschooling. Really, I do! I also love the fact that my older children who are now in public school still don't mind coming to me for help with their homework. However, sometimes, I just want the day to end sooner rather than later, you know? After homeschooling all morning, then hitting the books with the older ones, sometimes I feel like that is all I do!

But then there are days like yesterday. We go so much done during the day and I was just itching to be done. I knew B-Boo wanted some help with her English. I also knew her Health teacher had given them an assignment that they were supposed to do together with their parents. In addition, the high school boy had a book that needed to be read and so I agree to read it to so that we could discuss it and he'd actually remember what he read and pass the test on it next week!

We finally all settled down on our California King Size bed…the boy on the right, me on the left and B-Boo at the end…and dad at the desk in the corner.

The health project was on figures of speech that have to do with anger. We could only think of a few and needed more, so the four of us were racking our brains. Finally, mom and dad ended up on Google. This of course, led to so many hysterical figures of speech that we spent the next 30 minutes laughing at who comes up with these!

Once we calmed down, we moved onto the book (a biography of Beethoven) and the English assignment. Once B-Boo came up with a topic, "The Apprentice," we had some fun conversation between "Did you know…" about either Donald Trump, The Apprentice or Beethoven!

Before we knew it, we'd made it through the homework and had fun while doing it. (Not to mention some great family time!)

I went to bed last night feeling privileged instead of punished and am actually looking forward to what tonight might bring!

Feb 08 2009

Whew! What a week!

It's been a crazy week, that's for sure! I'd say it really started to take a turn by Thursday morning. Thursday started off with B-Boo's school being in complete lock down. There were police cars and FBI everywhere. The nice FBI man with the sharpshooter explained to me that I shouldn't worry, the students were safe, they were just being cautious because the man was in the neighborhood. Ok, well that made me feel much safer, especially given the fact that I live in the neighborhood! That prompted an immediate phone call to my husband to lock the doors as there was a gunman on the loose in our neighborhood. I then quickly drove home with the youngest in the van with me. We made it safely home, ran inside and turned on the news. NOTHING.

By this time, B-Boo was texting me to let me know that a teacher had been shot in the hand and that were in lock down and it wasn't a drill. (I think I knew that from the amount of police outside the school). She stayed in touch while we got nothing on the news. Finally, she said that they were out of lock down and allowed to go to their classes. And the culprit? Well, apparently it was an older man shooting pigeons in his yard with a pellet gun! A neighbor had called 911 to report someone shooting and it went downhill from there! There wasn't a teacher shot, but she had hurt her hand and needed stitches from an unrelated incident.

Shortly after we found out B-Boo was safe, I received a phone call from the vet. Joey, our little pup that has been losing his hair was determined to have ringworm. He has no lesions, but the culture came back positive. The vet determined it is a mild case, but we still have to bathe him in special shampoo and disinfect everything. Oh hurray. So, off to the vet first thing on Friday morning we were to go.

Meanwhile, that evening B-Boo had an hair appointment with the fabulous cut and color man for her birthday gift. By the time we got home, I was pooped and headed straight to bed…well, after helping B-Boo finish her homework anyway.

Friday was B-Boo's 14th Birthday! I can't believe she's 14! I remember when she was born. Boy, these kids grow up so fast, don't they? Anyway, after taking her to school, I got the kids ready for their day…by helping me take the dogs to the vet. Dr. Ceballos gave Joey a good lookover, gave them their shots, handed us the shampoo and away we went. After I dropped the kids off I went to get the food for the slumber party that night…10 teenage girls..woo hoo!

I made it back from everything just in time to grab a quick bite and head out to pick up B-Boo! We had planned a picture scavenger hunt at the mall for a couple of hours after school. That's when we discovered B-Boo's camera was broken! Oh man! We headed out early to grab some of her friends, then ran by Costco to see if we could replace the camera. No such luck, but hey, we tried. Luckily, one of her friends had grabbed their camera, so we were able to do the scavenger hunt.

S for Sunglasses

We headed home to some amazing pasta and Alfredo sauce that dear hubby had made, as well as lasagna, Caesar salad, and a chocolate fountain. YUM!

After gifts and card games, we grabbed the crew and headed out to the park for a late night game of flashlight tag! Ok, it took us three parks before we could find a dark enough place, but it was fun! Well, it was cold…but it was fun! Hubby and I supervised the madness in the middle of the night while they ran around. I know some people would think we were nuts, but you know…I think God gave us so many children so that we can remember moments like this! I pray that my children will remember them, too! We headed home about midnight, went through the pictures from the scavenger hunt, passed out the fuzzy posters for the girls to color and then headed to bed!

Saturday morning I got up and made 3 batches of pancakes while the girls helped cook them and make sausage to go with it. Also made some great gluten free blueberry muffins for Jonathan!

We knew we had to get the garage cleaned so that we could move the furniture into the garage and other living room. The carpet cleaning guy is arriving bright and early Monday morning to get rid of those ringworm spores! Anyway, B-Boo's remaining friends came out and joined us in the garage and we kicked it out in no time at all! It didn't even feel like work!

Today we finally finished moving all the furniture and vacuuming the entire house! Whew! I can finally go to bed and spend some quality time with my computer!

You know, it was a crazy week, but I learned a few things, too!

One: I have a pretty cool husband! That man will do just about anything to make his family happy, even if it includes baking the birthday girl dinner, moving furniture so we can clean up after the dogs, and going to the park with 14 teenagers to play flashlight tag in the middle of the night! Really, I couldn't ask for much more than that!

Two: I have a pretty good life! I don't have fancy furniture or a fancy house, but I do have plenty of room to run around and I don't have to worry about anything being broken. I have a warm, inviting home that my children know their friends are welcome in anytime they ask.

Three: My children have some pretty great friends! While at the mall, a couple of my older sons friends saw me…and instead of pretending they didn't see me, they came over gave me a hug. B-Boo's friends weren't asked to help clean out the garage; they just saw the need and volunteered.

And four…well, I'm not sure what more I could add! Great home, great hubby, great kids…what more could I ask for?