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Why?

I keep getting that question. I ask it myself. My son keeps asking me. I have no answer other than to remind myself, as well as my children that we just need to trust in God as we go through this very tough phase in our lives. It just is, isn't it?

This week has been such an exhausting week! I've spent more time at court, family services, and so much more that I just don't know if I am coming or going anymore. I've been overwhelmed and desperate for understanding…and sleep.

But God has stood by me. I know this because these precious children are so full of love. I know this because my friends have been such a support to us. We have the most wonderful Christian friends who have poured out their love and prayers to us.

And then there are those little moments. It's been so long since we've had little questioning children. Our youngest is a know it all, not a questioner. Ha Ha! Now we have a little boy who doesn't seem to know any other word other than, "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

I don't know why…but I do know that He is in control and that is what has to matter. 🙂

Laughable Moment #6

In a week where emotions run high, a laugh is most welcome. And boy, did I laugh with this one! With the addition of two children two our home this week, I realized that my nephew, four, did not have a toothbrush. I picked up a package of two, one yellow and one orange. He chose the orange one and ran off to brush his teeth. B-Boo went in to help him and came downstairs a few moments later giggling and stating that I needed to see what he'd done to the bathroom mirror. I was in the midst of dealing with things, so it was a while before I could get up there.

I finally made it upstairs to get ready for bed and walked in front of the mirror, only to notice this:

IMG_0055

Yes, that is a toothbrush stuck to my bathroom mirror. Apparently he didn't know where to put his toothbrush. He discovered a suction cup on the bottom of the toothbrush and decided it belonged stuck to the mirror.

Ah…having a four year old brain in the house again is going to be interesting!

Life Everchanging

It's funny how things can drastically change in a matter of days, or even minutes. Just when one thinks life is finally there; we've reached that point, everything changes. And what once was, is no more.

Take my last post about my morning with B-Boo. Those precious mornings are now gone. It's only been two days, but I miss them already. And that's not to say that what they've been replaced with isn't good; it's just that it's no longer what it was. I now have a 6 year old that joins us for our breakfast and bible study. That's good. And before we're done, I also have a four year old that joins us. Adorable. The dynamics have definitely changed; not for the worse, just different.

I've spent the past few days in a whirlwind of emotions. You see, I'm back in a place where I honestly hoped I'd never be again. I'm exhausted. I'm stressed. I'm overwhelmed. But I have to remember there is a much bigger picture here that only God can see. In order to understand, you have to travel back with me five years into the past. That is when we received custody of our then, 14 month old niece. It was hard; one of the hardest things we've ever been through. And then, after a year of ups and downs and finally getting to where we thought we'd make it, she was taken out of our homes and out of our everyday lives. Honestly, I didn't know how we'd recover. We were crushed. It took time, but we healed and we moved on with our lives. Just last week, we talked about how we were finally out of the little kids stage. Our youngest is 8 1/2. She's old enough to dress herself; independent enough to want to accomplish things on her own. It's great, this new season in our lives.

Until Sunday. This time, not only is our now six year old niece in our home, but she came along with her four year old brother. He's adorable; but he's four. It's been a long time since I've had a four year old. That means bath time and cuddle time and shoe tying time and teeth brushing time and more. It means I have to think before I run out of the house without a plan.

It also means dealing with child protective services once again. Dealing with Family Court once again. Dealing with evil drug addiction and how it tears a family apart once again. And so my heart is broken, once again. Only this time, it's not for what I've lost, but for what these precious babies have lost. For they have lost their ability to have a normal, happy, carefree life. What I hope they gain is the unconditional love that will overflow to them. I pray to God that these children will be protected and that they will be put first.

And I pray for their parents, who are so lost, they don't even realize what they've lost.

Mornings with B-Boo

I'm a morning person; always have been. It's that time when all is quiet and you have just those few moments to your self, or when school is in session, a few moments of one on one with a child. The Talented One has to be at school by 7:00 am. I usually get up around 6 am, have my prayer time and head downstairs. Sometimes he'll want breakfast, perhaps an omelet, other times he wants nothing. We don't have a grand quality time, but we usually do spend a few moments talking before he heads off. I'll do some dishes or make a pot of coffee or tea, depending on my mood for the day. Before we leave to take him to school, I wake up B-Boo so that she can get ready. Her school starts at 8:00 am.

Cocoa_sweetOnce I drop off the Talented One, I go back home and make a bagel or toast for B-Boo. She loves a cup of hot chocolate each morning. Now, this is not the type that you add a packet of chocolate to hot water. No! She likes a real cup of chocolate. The kind that is made with real milk and Ghirardelli's chocolate. You have to make sure the milk is hot enough and then add a few heaping teaspoons of chocolate. It's not complete until the top is covered with whipped cream. (This stuff also make the most amazing chocolate frosting!)

While looking on their website this morning I came across more cocoa products! I cannot wait to try their white mocha! It looks delicious!  I could probably write a whole blog (or two or three) just on chocolate, but this is not one of them. It's about my mornings with B-Boo!

By the time I finish making breakfast and hot cocoa, B-Boo makes her way downstairs. She'll have a seat next to me and we'll start our daily reading. We've been working our way through the Bible. We started Exodus today. (Sometimes we don't get to read because we're studying for a test.) I've discovered we like to read the New Living Translation for our morning reading because it is a little more story-like. My favorite version is NKJV. Anyway, after reading about Moses this morning, we had a little extra time for fun. Never one to miss a moment like this, B-Boo suggested that we watch a youtube of Veggie Tales as she had a song stuck in her head.

We started off with God is Bigger than the Boogie Man and then moved to the Cheeseburger song and finally ended with I Love My Lips . Yes, she's 14! If you've never watched a Veggie Tale video, I highly recommend it. It's not something you outgrow and your children will love them! We've been watching Veggie Tales forever it seems. We used to love singing them when we'd head out on a road trip…or when we just wanted to be silly.

She's at school now and the other two are still sleeping. I think I'll let them sleep a little longer before beginning our homeschool day, and I'll go watch another Veggie Tale!

 

Laughable Moment #5

We have a thief, or thieves, in our home. It's true. We just can't deny it any longer. It's hard as a parent to recognize this and just accept it for what it is. Last night, the Talented One was doing his homework on his bedroom floor. He had his mp3 player sitting next to him. He went on with his evening, playing his piano, showering, etc. When he went to get his mp3, he found it was missing. He searched everywhere for it, but could not find it anywhere. He searched his bed, drawers, anywhere that he might have left it, all the time insisting that he'd left it right where he was doing his homework. Finally, he went to bed, frustrated.

This morning, he still could not find it. He has proficiencies today, and was not a happy camper about his mp3 player. I got up early to make sure he had a good breakfast and then went outside to feed the dogs. Guess what I found sitting right outside the dog door?

Yup, you guess it! The mp3 player had been found. Joey had been sitting with him the night before while he did his homework. We figure when he was left alone, he decided to grab the cord and run with it. We're having that problem with the pups right now. Usually it's socks or a soft toy. They are learning, but they are puppies after all and have to be taught! I told my son last night to check outside and see if the dogs had gotten it, but it did seem like they would have left it alone since it's a hard piece of plastic. Nope…they're thieves.

My son was relieved to find that no harm had fallen on his mp3
player (although I thought I heard some muttering about shooting the
dogs), and I got a great chuckle this morning.

IMG_0003 The Smart One with Joey the Thief

Does he look like a thief to you?