Family - It's a Vivas Thing!

Sep 25 2016

No Way!

When the Drama Queen first mentioned she wanted to go to the iHeart Radio Musical Festival, I will admit that my first thought was, “No way!” But I have learned thru the many years of being a mom that sometimes we have to shove away our thoughts of no way and listen to what is being asked.

(*Tangent* I am a firm believer of the gut as a mom. I tend to listen to what it says.)

She really wanted to go. Told me all about the artists that would be there. Said she would find a responsible friend or older sibling to go with her. And the more she talked, the more I realized that this was an opportunity being given to me to:

(A) Spend some quality time with my quickly growing daughter. I have two years left with her before she starts adulting.

(B) Show her that I am absolutely willing to have fun with her and her interests.

(D) Give her the best 16th birthday gift ever!

(E) I would get to see Sam Hunt!!!

So, we had a conversation. I told her I would absolutely let her go to the festival on one condition. I would be the one going with her. 😱

She digested for a few moments and then agreed. And over the next several weeks we listened to songs of everyone who would be there. We talked of what to expect, the artists I wouldn’t like, etc.

…and then it was time! We had to park far away and take the free shuttle. This ended up with us finally paying someone to take us so we wouldn’t miss everything. So she got to see mom negotiate and agree if he got us there quickly and didn’t wait around.

There was the many conversations with different people of all ages and who they were there to see.

There was the crazy drunk girls. And learning how to react to a situation that could end badly. And how the surrounding people were willing to work together to move away from them a little at a time: together. And the conversation of why she would never do that. And the Mama Bear in me that wasn’t about to let anyone smash my kiddo.

There was the lady who was near passing out from the crowds and heat. And how we all worked together to help the situation and get her out of there.

There was the mob. Once you are in, you are in. And slowly we made our way closer and closer with the crowd. It was crazy and loud and standing all day.

And there was the many conversations of the artists and their music. What was good, bad, and amazing. We talked about their talent and their attitudes. And yes, there was one artist who was so talented yet so inappropriate. And we talked about his lyrics and his talent and what he does with it. And it was a great conversation!

But most of all, we had a wonderful day together. We laughed and sang and danced and were exhausted and starving by the end of the day. And as we sat eating, she thanked me for going with her.

And that’s why I shoved the “no way” thought away. We would have missed out on an awesome day spent together.

As parents, we are given unique opportunities to spend with our children. Embrace them. Have fun. Live a little. Love a lot.

Jul 02 2016

Not quite the adventure we had in mind…

Today was a pretty productive day. My youngest daughter and I worked out, then we grabbed the Drama Queen and went grocery shopping, went home and made a great breakfast and watched, “Mama Mia!” We followed it off by cooking dinner together and then took the DQ to babysit.

And so since we were down to just the Princess and myself, we decided to head out to Red Rock in search of a little adventure! There really wasn’t too much…we did a little hiking and some photographing…you all know how much I love the sun!

With the day coming to a close, we headed out…only just as we exited, the car started sounding really funny….like scraping metal. At first, I thought perhaps I had somehow caught something…but I pulled over…and nothing. I could tell it was bad and coming from the front, so finally managed to get enough service to call my oldest son to come to my rescue. He brought up fond memories of him getting stuck in the middle of nowhere and needing to be rescued and how I was just like him….ha ha

We managed to get it close enough to town to call for a tow and three hours later, I finally made it home to my comfortable bed, courtesy of my son the chauffeur!

Now I’m stuck at home for the holiday weekend, which probably isn’t such a bad thing after all…

Jun 18 2016

Taking the Time to Notice…

Growing up, my family spent almost every weekend camping…and playing softball. Having lived in the city for the past 27 years, it’s hard for others to imagine me as anything other than a city girl. Until I start to share my stories, and then they laugh. You see, yes, I am a country girl at heart. If I could have it any way, I’d be in an A-frame cabin in the woods spending my days wandering around with my camera taking pictures and ending the evenings with a fire while listening to the crickets and watching for shooting stars. And somehow, there’d be lightning bugs as well.

I’ll admit, I don’t know how I’d survive anymore without the ability to run to the store at a moment’s notice, but I’m sure I’d save on my grocery bill!

Two things stand out to me from my childhood.

One is my mom and the horseback rides we would take. We would spend the entire day, sun-up to sun-down, riding. We got to where we could spot a deer, rabbit, snake, lizard, skunk, bird….we could spot them anywhere. We knew how to listen and to watch.

The other is my dad. He loved to take pictures. He was always showing slide shows of the photos he took. I have enjoyed spending time with him sharing photos as I grew older. One of my favorite photos is this one, where he and B-boo are sharing photos on one of our camping trips.

My dad taught me how to notice the little things as well. We’d go on walks and he would take time to point stuff out. A flower here, a butterfly or bee, the way the water ran over a certain rock in a river, or the shape that some sticks in the woods made. And if we were too noisy, he’d “shoosh” us so we wouldn’t scare off any animals and miss seeing them. And he would spend time with me talking about the photos we took.

Now I enjoy taking photos as I take walks with my kids. My youngest son loves to be my assistant. He helps change lenses and points out things I need to take a photo of. I mean, how many photos of bunnies can one possibly take, right? But, he’s starting to notice the surroundings now when we walk. Once home, I love to put them up on the computer and go over them with the kids as we critique them together.

Too often, we become so busy with life. Especially living in the city. We work hard all week, and spend our time relaxing in front of the television or playing video games. And there is nothing wrong with any of it. But I think in doing this, we often forget to notice what is around us. We forget to notice the little things. My advice? Take time to notice what is around you. And if you have a camera, try and capture it as you go along.

Here’s some fun from my weekend.

May 22 2016

A Little Push Never Hurt Anybody…

My daughter was complaining recently that I push her too hard.

Working in the education field, I hear that a lot. Parents who won’t let their children breathe. Don’t they know how hard their kids are trying?

It’s hard as a parent knowing when to push and when to back down. We want our children to succeed. We want them to know what they are capable of.

We want them to be able to see themselves how WE see them…to look within and pull out that strength that is there…

I try hard not to be one of those parents…you know what I’m talking about. 😯

Don’t get me wrong, I am sure at some point I must have dreamed that my kids would make straight A’s and go to MIT or Harvard or be the next man or first woman to walk on the moon…

My kids can do anything they set their mind to; I know they can.

The thing is, I want my kids to learn how to push themselves. And they will only do that if I lead by example. And it is really, really hard sometimes.

My daughter will learn that they only way to get healthy and in shape is to push herself thru it. For now, I will be with her every step of the way. So, yes, I push. I push myself to get up and get to that gym and exhaust my body, because I.can.do.it.

And so can she.

Sometimes, we all need a little push. A push to get out of bed. A push to try harder the next time. A push to do those things that we just don’t want to do. A push to learn something new about ourselves. To see what we are capable of.

And sometimes we need a little push to just relax. Have some fun. Take some time to ourselves. Stop working. Enjoy each other’s company.

A push to be a better me. A better you. A better us.

And sometimes we need a shove….but that’s a story for another day.

May 08 2016

Mother’s Day 2016

It’s funny how things change. Twenty-five years ago, my life took on a change. After spending some time with my next-door teenager, I became a believer and started attending church. It was at this church that I made life-long friends. It was here that I met the man I would marry and spend the next 24 years with; where we would raise our children.

And in a moment; everything can change.

….And so we begin the next 25 years in reflection of who we are and where are we going?

I’ve spent the majority of this past year in phases. And as I look forward, I have to look back. And what has it taught me?

There is a Spirit that lives within me that provides strength and peace when I allow it.

We are stronger than we realize.

It is ok to simply be the best me I can be.

My children don’t expect me to have it all figured out. (What a relief!)

My teenager can understand and handle that mommy has a broken heart; and help as we overcome.

My children are stronger than I could have ever imagined.

It is ok to let it all out…food for the soul.

There is grace; patience; acceptance.

I have amazing people in my life who have loved me thru it all; the good, the bad, the ugly.

Today, I spend time accepting and learning to feel better about myself.

I spend time enjoying long walks. (Take walks.) It is then that I can ponder and reflect and be encouraged by what God has surrounded me with. I listen to the birds and the wind in the trees; laugh at the hummingbird that dances in front of me. I follow the butterfly as it flits along my path and notice the squirrel that peeks out in curiosity.

I spend time talking to my kids. And listening. And just enjoying being with them and laughing and crying and laughing some more.

I won’t lie. It’s hard being a single mother. R-E-A-L-L-Y hard. I work a lot. And there seems to never be enough time; and most days I feel like a failure when it comes to this new role . I don’t now how I’d get thru it without all of us pitching in to make it work. But….we are making it work.

And so today, Mother’s Day takes on a new meaning. We’ve started over. Starting the next 25 years at a new church; one that is just beginning. This time, I am not a young woman just beginning her life, but instead, one that is older, and can hopefully make a difference.

It fills me with joy to be a mom; and I am grateful times seven plus one.

Happy Mother’s Day to you all.