Faith - It's a Vivas Thing!

May 11 2013

Motherhood

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. I’ve spent a lot of time this week thinking about what it is to be a wife and a mother. I’m not so sure I’m very good at it. At least, not this week. Not looking for a pity party; just being real.

I love to write, but sometimes I hold myself back because…well, just because.

But tonight, my heart is heavy with motherhood.

So what have I learned and what do I have to give? To begin with, I’d like to say congratulations to the few of my friends who have become grandparents this week. You know who you are and you amaze me! I can only imagine what it is to be a grandparent. What a joy it must be to watch your child become a mother (or father) themselves. For it is only then, that they can truly know the depth of love that a mother can have for her children.

I am blessed with not one, but seven children and a wonderful daughter-in-law. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t thank God for the blessings He has given me.

But most days, I wake up praying for them. I’ve been doing it a long time. You pray they’ll be born with all their fingers and toes. Then you pray that they’ll grow up to be healthy and happy. Then you pray that they’ll be ok when it’s time for you to let them go. And you pray that they’ll some day figure out that you have always been there for them, even when they didn’t like you very much.

Because the reality of motherhood is that you don’t get to be their best friend. Motherhood is not for the tenderhearted no matter what anyone says. Motherhood means you have to be tough. It means sleepless nights and years of pure exhaustion. You have to be willing to stand up for what is right and hold them accountable even when your heart is breaking while you do it. Motherhood is about molding them into strong, caring, loving adults who know the difference between right and wrong and will hold tight to a God who loves them. Motherhood is about preparing them for life.

And in today’s society, it can feel impossible. There is so much out there in the world to influence them. We’re fighting a world that has gone crazy. A co-worker said to me this week, “I look at these kids and they are our kids ages. And I think to myself…this is OUR generation that is messing them up. Isn’t that crazy?”

It is…because today, it’s about instant gratification and whatever can make you happy for the moment. It’s an “all about me” world instead of a “Serve others” world.” Too often, we are consumed with what will make us happy for the moment; and we forget to care about those who should be the most important to us.

Don’t get me wrong, there is so much more to motherhood. Motherhood is also about being willing to go to the ends of the earth for your children. It’s about being willing to push forward no matter what. I remember when my daughter was so sick for so long. I took her to doctor after doctor after doctor. Finally, someone asked me, “How far will you go before you stop?” My answer?

“I will take her wherever necessary and never stop until I find out what is wrong.” And we did…even though it took us from California until we ended up in Kansas City.

Life is tough. I know would not be able to survive without a deep abiding faith in Him.

Motherhood has brought me the deepest heartache and the greatest joy. There is nothing that compares to a snuggle or a macaroni necklace. Buttefly kisses, eskimo kisses, and smiles that will melt your heart. The joy that is felt when you realize that you have done all you can as they marry and start on an adventure of their own.

And so, this Mother’s Day, I go into it knowing that I’m not about to win any prizes for a job well done. It doesn’t really make me happy, but it probably does make me a decent parent. And as much as I’d love to be the best friend, the love of a mother is so much more.

Be encouraged my friends, motherhood is by far a blessing like no other.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Apr 14 2013

Revolve…ing

It’s called a walk down memory lane… Yesterday, I had the privilege of taking the Drama Queen to her first Revolve Tour. As my friend and I drove our girls to California for the day, memories of Revolve Tours past came to mind. We laughed as we talked about taking our older daughters when they were this age…and how we couldn’t figure out why we were all so cold…until we found out that we were sitting on an ice rink! And how we were given ear plugs because it was so loud with THOUSANDS of teenage girls screaming, “Hawk Nelson!” and how they calmed down and cried when listening to Natalie Grant sing with her amazing voice!

Today it was a mega-church full of teenage girls screaming to “Anthem Lights” instead. I gotta say…I really like the lyrics to their songs. I especially like this one; what a message for young hearts!

And still, the amazing Natalie Grant was there! Always a blessing to hear her sing and share what’s going on in her life!

What a fun day I had spending it with a long time friend and our girls. It had been far too long since we had had a lengthy talk….it brought back memories of when we were young mothers just starting out….and now how we have adult children who are married and starting their own lives now. We’re one of those moms…you know, the ones that have grown children…yet we still have younger children, too. Adopting two more has given me even a larger span….ages 8 to 25!

Which brings me to today. This morning, all of the older children were gone, leaving just my two youngest with me. So, we headed to the grocery store, picked out muffins for breakfast and then headed home to get ready for church.

Which brings me to this moment…nothing better than sitting outside in the backyard with a cool breeze…listening to SOS and watching them climb trees…happy at last. Looking back to four years ago, we just recently got custody of them for the second time. As I read, I remembered how hard it was for them to be torn out of their home yet again and the struggles they went thru just to get thru each day. Four years ago today, my then-nephew-now-son had remarked…”I’m so happy!” because he was so happy to be with us. A year later, we were flying kites in a park while the DQ got to take pictures with a new bride in her wedding dress taking photos at the park.

And then, we lost them again.

It was a long haul, but today, they are finally where they belong. And no, it isn’t easy. It probably never will be…but on days like today, it’s nice to know that we can sit outside, enjoy the weather…and have a few smiles.

And climb a few trees.

Mar 17 2013

Relationships

With my son’s recent marriage, I’ve thought a lot about relationships. I want nothing more than for my children to find that relationship that will stay with them throughout their lifetime.

“With God, all things are possible. Matthew 19:26”

I’ve been with my hubby for over 21 years now. I won’t lie and pretend it has been easy; it hasn’t. He makes me absolutely crazy and I am sure I have driven him batty beyond the bat! So..what is our secret?

I believe it starts with our faith. We are called to serve. And in a relationship, one has to remember that it is not what we can get out of a relationship, but what can we put into it?

I’ve watched my dad throughout my lifetime. I can’t remember a time when he hasn’t given my mother everything she has ever wanted. And he does this because he loves her. They’ve been married nearly 50 years now! My hubby’s dad is the same way. He is there to take care of his sweetie…always has.

I believe I have that in my marriage. I know that no matter how crazy I make him, he will always be there for me. He loves me so much that he is willing to do just about anything to serve me…and I, him.

It’s the little things…

Buying a favorite candy just because…or washing a dirty pan just so the other person doesn’t have to.

It’s the big things…

Stopping the circle of pain even if you are right…and not being afraid to admit when you are wrong.

Or mad.

Or stupid.

Or ridiculous and out of control.

It’s knowing when to back off and knowing when to push forward.

It’s about commitment and knowing you’d better hang in there because giving up is not an option.

And remembering what brought you together in the first place.

It’s about knowing you are meant to be together and believing in the One who brought you this far.

Relationships are not meant to be easy; they are meant to be treasured; nurtured, taken care of.

I am so happy my son has found that. I pray my other children will find the same.

And I am eternally grateful for the love of my life.

Mar 16 2013

Phyllis

So today, the Smart One and I were leaving the mall when we noticed a well-dressed, elderly lady pushing a button as she looked around lost. We stopped and asked her if she needed help.

She replied, “Can you hear it?”

We realized she was pushing the button to sound her car so that she could find it in the parking lot. So, we walked with her thru the parking lot while she kept pushing the button and we listened to find the car. As we slowly walked around, we learned a bit about her.

She didn’t find anything to purchase because everything was too expensive.

She’s lived here for 25 years.

Her husband passed away two years ago and she has no family except for a brother in Chicago and another brother in San Diego.

Her husband was a Russian Jew.

She thought I was Italian. 🙂

She thought my son was a perfect gentlemen and commented that you don’t see that much these days.

She also commented he could look like a girl…ha ha (I don’t think so!)

She talked about the community center she visits.

She thought I had a good name and spoke of someone she used to know that had my name.

And then we found her car and walked her to the door. We said our good-byes while she thanked us for getting her to her car and for taking time out of our day to talk with her.

As we watched her drive off, I was reminded of how thankful I am to have a large family. I hope that I’ll never be alone…and I wish I had offered to have lunch with her another day or…something.

Too late. I’m sure she would have had some fascinating conversation.

I googled “Russian Jew” to see what would show up. I came across some pretty interesting articles, one of which said,

“They were raised Jewish. They have Jewish names. They once suffered for being Jewish in the Soviet Union. Now they suffer for being Russians in Israel.”

I bet she would have had some interesting conversation.

As I sit her tonight reflecting on the day, I think of some of the little opportunities God has given us thru the years.

My children and I praying with a heartbroken man in Roberto’s Taco shop.

My children and I helping a homeless person who had fallen off of his wheelchair in the middle of a busy road.

Buying hamburgers, muffins and other items as we’ve come across homeless people thru the years.

Going into the heart of homeless and passing out food and blankets on the streets and corners where most people avoid going.

My children coming to me through the years, asking me to drop whatever I am doing because someone needs us now. And so we go.

If there is one thing I would pray for, it would be that my children will continue to look for the opportunity to notice that which most people would choose to ignore, and continue to stop and take the time to brighten someone’s day. We never know the impact that we have on others. While a smile or a short conversation may seem like nothing to us, it is more than likely God using us to minister in ways we would never think of.

And in doing so, allowing Him to make a difference in our own lives.

Oct 25 2012

Adoption Day!

We waited a long time for today; it’s been over 10 long years. There were times when we gave up. And then, God would bring them back. There’s a story to tell…another day.

Today, I want to share with you the joy of our adoption.

They were so excited...waiting to go in and get this thing over with!

"Miss Cathy" our very dear friend...thank you for being there for us!

"MIss Elaina"....God placed you here for a reason...to bring these children home, no matter the cost to you. Forever we are grateful!

Taking pictures helped with the waiting!

Standing before the Judge, waiting to start! (Comical Moment: Our son lets the judge know he is matching today!)

Attorney explaining to the judge why we are asking to adopt...almost there!

This is the point where I lose it... Cathy and Elaina cry along with me!

Thank you, Cathy, for capturing the moment!

While they pick out gifts from the judge...

They're smiling...because "no one can ever take them away from us again"

It is with the deepest, heartfelt gratitude, that we thank you all. Thank you for praying for us throughout the years. For holding us when we lost them again and again…and for rejoicing with us each time we got them back. I can’t imagine going through this without our “prayer warriors.”

For those of you who share “Thankful Thursday” with me…this is mine! (I love you, sisters!)

It’s sinking in…it’s real…I guess we’d better figure out how to add some more rooms to this house!

Romans 12:12

Rejoice in Hope

Be Patient in Tribulation

Be Faithful in Prayer