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Oct 15 2010

Knights and Princesses

Last night I was out with one of my sons. He volunteered to come along with me to get some soup since I'd been feeling under the weather. As we walked through the store, he offered to carry my groceries. Then he did the self-checkout for me and carried the groceries out to the car. When it came time to open the car, he offered to take the keys, opened the door, waited for me to get in, handed me the keys and shut the door.

It's so nice to have my young knight around.

Here's the thing; too often today we are not teaching our young men how to be gentlemen. Even more so; we don't always teach our young ladies how to be, well, ladies.

I've had a few conversations with different people about this lately. It just keeps coming up; don't know why, but enough that I thought I'd write about my thoughts on it. So, let's start with my boys…no, the girls…it's hard to decide.

My girls:

I want my girls to want to be treated like a lady. Today's world is so much about empowering women. Women can do it all. Women are just as strong as men. Women don't need a man to take care of them.

And heaven forbid, we should actually teach our daughters how to cook and clean and take care of babies; because then we live in the dark ages and we are forcing our daughters to be less.

Really?

God created women with the gift of child bearing. What a gift! To be able to have that life inside of you; knowing only you have the ability to bond in that special way with this child during those precious months. Women have the ability to see a child and naturally want to take care of them; whether it is their own child or some one elses. That's how we are created! I'm proud to have been able to stay home and take care of my family for years. I love that I got to spend that time with them. I love those precious moments.

I've had other women tell me over the years:

"It's your time!" (I have plenty of time when my children are grown and gone.)

"You should be in school." (I'd rather be home and give my children a chance to go to school)

"It's not your job to be home; you should have a career." (I don't look at it as a job; I know it's an honor.)

"How can you stand being with your kids all day? I can't wait until mine are back in school again." (Wow!)

"Are you going to let your girls go to college and have a career?" (Really?)

Every one of these questions has been asked by a woman. Why is it ok for a women today to choose a career, but not ok for them to choose to stay home and take care of their family?

I've actually seen women get MAD at a man for opening a door for them because they can "do it themselves."

My boys:

They are our natural protectors. That's they way they were created. I'll never forget when my children were younger, there was a boy in my daughter's group at church choir that kept picking on her. Each week this little boy would poke her in the back with a pencil. Fed up, she came home and burst into tears one day. The very next Sunday, all three of her brothers lined up outside the classroom door, prepared to have a word with this young man. No words needed; the boy never picked on her again.

Someone gives mom a hard time; my boys don't hesistate to line up on either side of me, arms folded across their chest, ready to take on whoever it is that is messing with me.

So let me tell you about my family and the way we work!

My boys know how to cook, wash dishes, do laundry and clean a house. But I'll admit, when the trash needs emptied, I will usually call on one of my sons to take it out. I also call on them to get the spider (or cockroach), and to lift something heavy for me. I'll admit that I bought them toy trucks to play with as children. I wait for them to open a door for me and I talk to them about making sure they take care of the women/girls in their life. I remind them that they are to protect them, love them and cherish them. I've talked to them about being prepared to take care of their families financially if their future wives want to stay home and how to work together as a team if their wives have a career. My husband fills up my gas tank every Sunday night. He opens doors and drives when we are together. He also helps with laundry, makes me dinner and cleans better than I do these days! He offers his arm or hand when we are out and makes sure to help me bring in the groceries. He is my my protector, loves me and cherishes me.

My girls can lift a suitcase, shoot a gun and work in the yard. They plan on going to college and having a career, but they also talk about motherhood and the children they'll have. They'll get rid of a bug in the house if they have to, but love that they can call on their brothers to do it for them. They had a kitchen and baby dolls to play with as children. I remind them that they should want to be protected, loved and cherished. And I teach them about loving and nurturing.

I believe in ladies and children first.

I believe in men being men and women being women.

I'm not ashamed to have been a stay at home mom for 15 years; yet I willingly took a full-time job to help support my family through these difficult time.

I love that my husband is an awesome stay at home dad while he starts his own business at the same time.

What we've taught our family together is to cherish what God has created us to be. We teach our children to love God, family and so on. We teach them to want to act like ladies and gentlemen. We also teach them that you do whatever it takes to make your family work together. Sometimes that means mom staying home; sometimes it means dad staying home. There is nothing wrong with either. 

Personally, I'm proud of my knights and princesses!

 

Written by Mama Vivas · Categorized: Faith, Family, The Vivas Family!, Ya Gotta Read This One! · Tagged: fatherhood, God, knights, motherhood, princesses, working mom

Oct 14 2010

Joy?

I haven't had much chance to blog lately. Most of my spare time has been taken up with a *project* of sorts that I am having fun working on. And when I'm not doing that, well, I've been trying to spend time with my family. You know how that is! So, what are the things that have kept me going this week?

Working on the Josh Stevens Foundation web site.

Helping the Drama Queen finish up her project on Alaska.

Finding out the Smart One made first chair in band.

Hearing about the Good Looking One's days at his new job.

Pizza with my family and dear friend last night.

Well, ok, going down, the pizza brought me joy…coming back up all night….not so much.

But hey…I'm home and actually have a moment to write a blog…small as it is. *smile*

JustfortheJoyofitcopy

Written by Mama Vivas · Categorized: Family, Just for the Joy of It.

Oct 09 2010

40…ish

I was sitting here tonight working on some web stuff while a friend's daughter sat on the couch talking to one of her friends. She's 13. I wasn't paying too much attention to what she had to say, but then…something caught my ear.

She was telling her friend not to cry. Then she told her, "Don't cry about it. It's not like half your life is over or anything. I mean, it's not like you're 40."

Alarmed, I thought to myself, "Is my life half way over and should I be crying about it?"

And then I giggled to myself.

I remember when I was that age and thinking 30 was old.

I remember thinking that we'd be dead by the year 2000.

Or that at the very least, we'd be able to travel through space.

Or that cars would fly.

And now I'm, well, past 40.

And I don't feel like my life is half way over. Yes, there are definate changes, but I look foward to new beginnings, too!

I look forward to graduations…from high school…and college.

I look forward to marriages…and grandbabies.

I look forward to meals for two….instead of what feels like 20.

I look forward to travel.

I look forward to a lot of things.

But I also am content to watch my youngest turn 10 real soon.

And have another teenager in the house.

I love that my friend tonight remarked, "Do you know everyone?" as one of my girls greeted me at a local restaraunt…and I could reply, "She's one of my girls from youth, too!"

I love that my house is always full…full of love, laughter, friends and family.

I love that it's ok to have a front porch that is full of splattered paint from yet another project my kids have done.

I love that my kids are ok with hanging out with mom….I guess I'm not too old yet!

I love this stage of my life.

I don't feel old…well, maybe my knees aren't what they used to be, but…

…my life half over? I don't think so!

Live, Love, Laugh…it'll keep you young!

 

Written by Mama Vivas · Categorized: Family, Friendship · Tagged: 40, live, love

Oct 07 2010

Dancing

So often when we are stressed as parents, we tend to take it out on our children. This week, I decided to have them de-stress me instead. Take that moment, you know?

So the other morning when I knew what was coming at work, I had the Drama Queen crank up the music…and grabbed the Smart One…and we danced! We twirled and danced and twirled and laughed and it was great!

So, the next time you are a little cranky or need a pick me up…I suggest you grab your kid and dance and sing…and make sure you twirl!

What joy it will bring you!

JustfortheJoyofitcopy

Written by Mama Vivas · Categorized: Just for the Joy of It. · Tagged: dance, just for the joy of it

Sep 30 2010

At a Loss

Sometimes, being a parent is difficult. There are many things I don't understand, but many more that remind me of God's grace.

I don't understand why my dear friends lost their son two years ago. But I am amazed at how God has blessed their way of honoring their son's life.

I don't understand why two student's  at my children's school lost their lives this week. And I don't know what to do to comfort them other than to let them know I love them; and I understand how they feel.

We have lost many friends/loved ones in the past two years. I've been to more funerals during this time than in my entire life.

My heart breaks for loss after loss after loss.

And honestly, there just isn't anything that one can really say to those who have lost their loved ones that will take away their pain.

But we can be there for them. Share our memories with them. Encourage them; show love and kindness.

And be there for them.

I had the honor of listening to my friend last week as he spoke to a group of high schoolers about his son; and his family's loss. I sat there, facing the audience, as he spoke to the room. You could have heard a pin drop in the silence as they listened, tears streaming down many of their faces.

What touched my heart, was his willingness to share with these teenagers how much they are loved! He wanted more than anything, for them to go away knowing that they are loved.

Tonight, my daughter had to dance during half-time at the football game. I know this was hard for them, because they had lost a friend/sister today. They chose to dance to support their friend. After, there was a time of silence. And I prayed. I prayed for the sister who remains and for the family as they struggle to find some type of….something…that will help them through this.

Tonight, I will tell my children they are loved. I'd encourage any parent out there; don't be at a loss for words when it comes to telling your children you love them.

Tell them.

Tell them they are loved. Make sure they know!

 If you'd like to know more about how my friend has honored his son's life, please visit

www.joshstevensfoundation.org

Written by Mama Vivas · Categorized: Uncategorized · Tagged: Be Kind, Josh Stevens Foundation, loss, love

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