Mama Vivas - It's a Vivas Thing!

Aug 12 2009

When Your Hands are Tied

I know what I'd like to say, but maybe I shouldn't.

I know what I'd like to do, but I can't.

I know who I'd like to be, but I'm not able.

I know I should keep quiet, but why?

I know we must go through this, but I don't want to.

Sometimes my life seems like a movie, except it's real.

Or a moving train. And I want to shout, "Let me off!," but the roar is too loud and no one can hear me.

Or an asylum, where I'm the sane one trying to get out!

This is me, for once, not worrying about what others may think.

I'd like to say that it is not fair that my niece and nephew have to continue dealing with parents who just don't seem to care at all! I'd like to say that the *system* really stinks to high heaven, when parents are given more and more time while the children wait for them to get it together. That's what I'd like to say!

I'd like to get a big house with a room for each child, and give them a safe place. I'd like to take them away from this *system* and give them a home where they don't have to cry themselves to sleep at night after they have been let down, once again.

I'd like to be strong, loving, optimistic…but it's hard.

I know we must go through this, because, even if it's temporary, their lives can be touched.

By something that's real.

By something that's good.

By someone who loves them. Many, who love them.

I know I can't do this on my own. I know it's not about me. I know I'm selfish for the discomfort that I feel, because it's nothing compared to what they feel.

I know that my God is a big God!

I know that He is able.

I know that He has a plan.

I know that He'll provide a way.

I know that His way is better than my way.

I know.

Aug 10 2009

Daddy’s Girl

Daddy's Girl, what is it about those girls? The first time I really noticed it was when B-Boo was about a year old. She used to love her hair up in the foam rollers, dressed in a onesie…and cuddling with her daddy. I remember waking up once in the middle of the night, to find B-Boo and Daddy sitting in front of the TV, watching Beauty and the Beast, eating strawberries and whipped cream…and when it wasn't that, it was popcorn. And so it began.

Six years later, the Drama Queen came along. I'm not really sure when she became a Daddy's Girl, but I know it was there by the time she was four or five…and it was definitely there by the time she was six. We were at a doctor's appointment for a series of shots (that's another blog another time). It was a long appointment and we brought special coloring books and markers. The doctor came in and the Drama Queen made some comment about her Daddy. I think she was coloring a picture for him. Anyway, B-Boo had just turned 12 and was going through some stuff that only a mom can take care of. Days before, my husband had made a comment that she wasn't his little girl anymore and he was having a hard time with it. Anyway, the doctor made a comment that he had a 12 year old daughter and that all of a sudden she wasn't his little girl anymore. We had a laugh because his complaint was the same as my husband's! The good thing for my husband was that he had another Daddy's Girl to lean on!

She has a way of saying MY Daddy that lets you know he's hers. For fun sometimes, I'll say that he was MY husband before he was HER Daddy…that usually throws her for a loop! Sometimes, it drives me nuts, this Daddy's thing. Heaven forbid something should happen to her while Daddy is away. It doesn't matter if I've taken care of it, the minute her Daddy is home, the drama starts all over again as she retells the story. She's a tough cookie, too, until she sees her Daddy; then the waterworks start.

We realized just how much a Daddy's Girl she was one day when I told her "no" to something. Her reply?

"I'll just go ask MY Daddy!"

That didn't turn out like she'd hoped!

As irritating as it gets sometimes, I'll have to admit, I'm glad he has that special relationship with her. I can only imagine how it feels to know that the minute he pulls up to the driveway, she'll come running out yelling, "Daddy!" There is not a day that goes by that she is not thrilled to have her Daddy home!

It's the same when he leaves in the morning. She'll get her hugs and kisses then run to the window, throw it open and yell good-bye to her Daddy until she can't see him anymore or someone tells her to hush cause they are trying to sleep!

Heaven forbid she should get into trouble during the day. She'll look up at me with those big puppy-dog eyes full of tears and beg me to please not tell her Daddy.

She can talk him into going down an inflatable water slide…over and over and over again!

She can also talk him into going to the park at just about any hour.

She can talk him into riding bikes around the block, no matter how tired he is.

She can talk him into watching "Game Plan" or "Parent Trap" for the 100th time. (Notice the theme?)

She can talk him into letting her put ponies in what is left of his hair.

She can talk him into letting her cook scrambled eggs with him, even though she's allergic. (She'll wear gloves, Daddy!)

She can talk him making her popcorn at the drop of a hat!

She can talk him into playing with her, even when he's in a cast and can't walk!

But she'll also love on him.

She'll hug him and cuddle with him.

She'll rub his head when he has a headache.

She'll walk on his back when it hurts.

She'll go with him to the store anytime, and work with him in the yard.

The Drama Queen has a birthday party tomorrow. It's been a long day and I'm trying to get over this stomach bug. I realized about eight pm that we'd neglected to get a birthday gift. She responded that she'd find one of her special toys to give to her friend. I told her that was sweet, but I'd take her to go get a gift after I got the kids to bed. A few minutes later, she walked over to let me know that her Daddy was going to take her to get a gift.

Her friend doesn't realize how lucky she is. If I'd have taken her, it would have been a simpler, yet nice gift, with a simple purple gift bag and tissue. But Daddy took her. She came back with a gift bag full of cupcakes that came with stickers for decorating. She had a glitter card. She had star tissue paper. She even had a glittery bow to go with it! They also got a couple pretty cool gifts to go with it.

I didn't really think about the cost; I figure it was worth it, having that Daddy moment.

I think every Daddy needs a Daddy's Girl, don't you?

Aug 10 2009

So about that day?

It was a great dream, wasn't it? I got the stomach flu instead, but we did manage dinner before it set in for the rest of the night.

Yesterday I managed to make it to California and back, despite this yucky flu that has hung on longer than I'd like. A sweet friend kept me company on the way up and finished the drive back. We took five of our teens up to camp for a week. They'll spend the week having a blast and babysitting children that are part of the family camp. This is B-Boo's second year and I'm sure she'll have even more fun than last year!

It is also the Smart One's first camp! He REALLY wanted to go and it seemed like a great way to end his *children* years at church before he starts youth in another two weeks. It was fun to watch the two older teens give him advice on the do's and don't's of camp…what to pack, how to pack, what to do, what not to do, etc! We finally got him all packed and at the church when we discover that no, the flashlight battery wasn't dead, the flashlight was broken. As he frantically asked me what should he do, I replied,

"I suggest you make friends..and then borrow one!"

The teen girls were appalled at my answer, but then laughed about it on the drive up!

So…life this week should be interesting with only four children in the house, but it will be different for sure!

Aug 07 2009

How about a day?

Where no appointments exist? No counselors! No doctors! No dentist! No caseworkers! No school!

Nothing, Nada, Zip!

Ah….

A morning where you can stay in bed and watch…oh, I don't know…"Mama Mia!" and laugh through it because that little woman is so much like your little Jewish friend. Really.

And you can type a blog about…oh, nothing really.

And feel sorry for your daughter because her lips are so sore from her new braces.

And you can not fret too much about the fact that your other daughter is now needing dental surgery to fix her teeth because she's ground them down so bad.

And you can even, perhaps, think about watching yet another movie…or not. But at least you can think about it!

And there's time to mend some pants.

And time for cuddles..with the kids…and the dog.

And maybe even time to do a little shopping for camp…if you feel like it.

But the best part?

There's time to relax, have a long shower, and perhaps make oneself smell really nice…and go on…oh, I don't know…a real DATE with one's spouse! Really.

A real dinner…with no interruptions. One where neither of you has to eat cold food because someone else is always needing something. One where you can eat anything you want…because there are no children with food allergies with you!

Adult conversation anyone?

I should pinch myself…cause it looks like I may have one of those days! Really.

Aug 05 2009

New Children?

Ok, I don't really have new children…but it seems like it! Two of them now have glasses and another has new braces. (I'm not allowed to post a picture on my blog of the braces, otherwise I'd show you.) Two others have red stripes running through their hair (at least, if the color works). I may just get them mixed up tonight…I'll have to start asking if they belong here…or.."What did you do with so and so?"

Lots of changes coming up. One is starting kindergarten, another is starting high school. Another is starting middle school…and going to public school. I'll only be homeschooling one this year.

I hope I can handle it!